


The Drunken Deal

by GabzJones



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Canon Divergence, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Fluff, Grand Prix Final, Grand Prix Final Banquet, Ice Skating, M/M, Mutual Pining, Otayuri if you squint, Romance, Slow Build, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, VictUuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 75,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabzJones/pseuds/GabzJones
Summary: After Viktor Nikiforov announces his retirement from the ice, Yuuri Katsuki's world just keeps crumbling around him. His debut at the Sochi Grand Prix hadn't ended well, and at the annual banquet, fuelled by an alcoholic stupor, he makes a deal with his Russian idol. Can he bring Viktor back to the ice?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I've been posting this story on my ff.net account for a while now, but finally I have an account to post it here! I'll post a chapter here a day until we're caught up and then both accounts will get chapters at the same time. I'm really excited to be sharing my work on here after all this time.
> 
> Without further ado, sit back, relax, and enjoy!

_What do you have to say about the rumors of your retirement at the end of the season?_

The question had been thrown at him so many times over the last few months, and every time he heard it, Viktor did his best to dodge it. After all, Yakov would die from the scandal if he did make any kind of statement on the matter. Viktor himself didn't really see the need to hide it. If people could have figured out enough for the rumor to exist in the first place, didn't that speak volumes? It wasn't that Viktor didn't like the sport anymore. On the contrary, he lived and breathed the ice. But if he had run out of ways to surprise his audience, if he had lost the inspiration to continue, he knew his career wasn't long for this world. It was better to bow out gracefully than to keep going and risk losing his love for the ice in the process.

Looking around the room at the many members of the press who had practically surrounded him, the flashing of cameras occasionally lighting the room, Viktor thought for a moment about what exactly it was he should do in this situation. He had been here so many times, but he was starting to think it was just plain unfair for him to continue dodging the question, especially with the Grand Prix Final so close. With a silent apology to his beloved coach, Viktor brushed his bangs from his eyes, his voice finally leaving his lips, firm yet gentle, "It is unclear what I'll do once the season ends, but a break from the competition does feel like the right thing to do. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm ready to bow out with anything less than gold. What is it they say, 'always leave on a high'?"

Viktor's gentle smile, his 'press' smile was painted across his lips by the time he'd finished his statement. He looked around the room, genuinely surprised to find the flashing had stopped and the room had filled with complete and utter silence. Had he said something wrong? Maybe Yakov was right, maybe he shouldn't have said anything. But just as quickly as the silence fell around him, the press were all clambering to ask more questions, talking over each other until the whole room was roaring with noise. And Viktor would've answered more questions. He really would've. However, the spotlight was swiftly stolen from him as his coach rushed in, grabbing the nearest microphone and speaking firmly, "Viktor will not be making anymore statements at this time."

As his fuming coach was pushing him out of the room, Viktor waved at his adoring public, offering them one of his trademark winks. Yakov was never going to let him hear the end of this, he knew. But it was out there now. He couldn't take it back. The thought that he couldn't go back on his words was comforting. This was it. He'd made his decision.

 

* * *

 

"It's all over the news." Phichit's voice echoed through Yuuri's phone, but he didn't say a word, staring at the television in front of him, watching as Viktor Nikiforov, the Russian God of Figure Skating, the inspiration for Yuuri's own career on the ice announced that this season was going to be his last.

"He… he didn't really say it, though… right?" Yuuri's voice was barely a whisper, desperation clear as his voice seemed to crack partway through the question, "I mean, he just said it was a good idea, he didn't say he'd actually do it."

"You know him better than anyone else," Phichit's voice seemed to have softened, knowing that Yuuri needed someone to reassure him, "He likes to surprise people, right? This is the biggest surprise he could give us. But don't worry, Yuuri. You made it to the final. You'll get to skate on the same ice as him, just like you always wanted. Just in time, too."

"That's not the problem! Viktor belongs on the ice!" Yuuri snapped, realising after a moment that he had just snapped at his best friend and he really needed to calm down. Running a hand over his face, Yuuri sighed softly, "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed out, I guess. I should probably go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Phichit's voice kept its reassuring tone and Yuuri could practically hear his smile, "No worries, man. I'll call you soon, okay? We're all rooting for you."

As he hung up the phone, Yuuri dropped it to the ground beside him, resting his head back on the bed behind him. He had worked so hard to get to Viktor Nikiforov's level. He knew he still wasn't anywhere close, but he'd gotten far enough to at least be able to skate on the same ice as him. And it would be the only time. His one chance. Yuuri knew that this wasn't his decision. Of course it wasn't, Viktor wanted to retire. But why? What had happened to his idol to make him want to leave the ice? There had to be something. It couldn't just be a whim. Could it? Viktor Nikiforov was known to go out of his way to surprise an audience, so anything was possible. Yuuri doubted he'd do something that would hurt himself unnecessarily, though. So why? And why now?

He wanted to prove himself to everyone, to show that he could do this, that he was stronger than all the self-doubt radiating through his body. He wanted Viktor to see him skate and to know that he had inspired so many people. He wanted his skating to make his idol proud. Yuuri wasn't at the level where he could do that, though. That's what he had kept telling himself ever since the rumors started circulating. He kept reminding himself that if he didn't have the chance to prove himself, then Viktor surely wasn't going to retire. Viktor would wait for him to be ready. But why would he? Why did the voice in his head decide that the God of Figure Skating would wait for  _him_? He wasn't anyone special. Viktor Nikiforov would never watch him skate. He doubted Viktor would even see him skate at the final. No doubt he'd be surrounded by paparazzi desperate for more answers on the news of his retirement.

Yuuri rested his head in his hands, letting the tears stream, his body shaking with the emotions he was feeling. This was his one chance to prove himself, and he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to lose his idol. Viktor Nikiforov couldn't leave the ice. He wouldn't let him.

 

* * *

 

As time went on, Yuuri kept training, trying to prepare himself for the Sochi Grand Final, but his coach could see the uncertainty in his every move. The Japanese man hadn't ever been particularly confident in himself, and the only reason Celestino had taken him on at all was because of a video Phichit had shown him of Yuuri skating in a rink devoid of any people. Yuuri Katsuki worked best away from prying eyes, and that was the challenge of coaching him. If Yuuri wanted to step up to the big leagues, he had to be willing to bare his soul on the ice in front of everyone, not just when he was alone. As much as Celestino tried to get Yuuri to see that, he found that his student would always inevitably hide himself from the world, focusing too much on the routine and not enough of the emotion behind it. Yuuri was a fortress, walls of steel surrounded him, protecting him from the world around him. Celestino wanted desperately to break down those walls and let Yuuri's true potential shine through, but he needed Yuuri to want it, too.

Things slowly went from bad to worse, his whole world crashing down around him. His idol was retiring. His dog whom he held so dear was no more, and he hadn't been there for him. Yuuri Katsuki's world was spiralling out of control. His nerves were shot. When it was his turn to skate, he barely heard the call. His whole body shook with a mix of emotions that caused his stomach to sink. He was nauseous. He was hurting. He was alone. Celestino tried his best to encourage Yuuri to get out there and skate like he did in those quiet moments of solitude. That was his only chance to truly make a name for himself out there.

As the music for his routine began to fill the air, Yuuri's eyes were fixed to the ice below him. His coach's words echoed through his mind. Skate like no one's watching. Little did he know that not only was the entire arena's audience watching, his idol was on the sidelines, his eyes transfixed on the Japanese man making the ice his own.

Viktor wasn't sure what to think at first. The dark-haired man standing in the centre of the rink was shaking like a leaf and the Russian couldn't help but feel for him. As Yuuri began to glide across the ice, Viktor's eyes never left the spectacle. His moves were uncertain, that much was clear. That step sequence, though… Viktor had never seen anyone move quite like that. It was beautiful, and he couldn't help but imagine how stunning Yuuri Katsuki could be if those nerves weren't holding him back. It was as if Yuuri knew that Viktor's eyes were on him. As the competitor began his first jump, a triple axel, their eyes met. Viktor flashed Yuuri an encouraging smile, hoping the gesture would be enough to calm those nerves that were obvious in his every movement. As it turned out, this was not what Yuuri needed. As the jump broke their eye contact, all Viktor could do was watch as Yuuri over rotated, falling off his feet and landing hard on the ice. The Russian winced, but didn't look away, silently urging the skater before him to get back up and keep going. And keep going, he did.

Yuuri barely landed any of his jumps, falling on a few more occasions and with each stumble, the nerves seemed to be catching up with him. He shouldn't be there, his mind kept telling him. He didn't belong on this ice. He wasn't good enough for this. He should've been back home with Vicchan. He should've been anywhere but here. His idols eyes were on him, and it just made that voice in Yuuri's head remind him that he would never be able to stand proudly beside Viktor Nikiforov. He would never be able to inspire people like the Russian had inspired him. Yuuri just wanted it to end. Every jump was a stumble, his heart racing with fear and shame as the program he'd worked so hard to learn was slowly falling apart at the seams. And just as quickly as the madness began, it was over. There were tears in Yuuri's eyes because he knew. He knew he couldn't possibly recover from this humiliation. He didn't pay much attention as his legs guided him to the kiss and cry. His coach was there waiting for him with an unreadable expression and all Yuuri could do was sit, his head in his hands as he tried to drown out the sound of his score being revealed. Yuuri knew he wasn't going to make the podium. Hell, he knew he wouldn't be beating anyone with that performance. He felt sick to his stomach, quickly getting to his feet and making his way out of the arena the moment he was able to.

* * *

 

"Why do we have to waste time with these stupid banquets, anyway?" The blond boy beside him practically spat out the words and Viktor couldn't help but smile.

If there was one thing Viktor could appreciate, it was someone who spoke their mind. Yuri Plisetsky was young, but he had a fire inside him both on and off the ice. It was a fire that Viktor knew could take the young boy far. If only his young companion could learn to keep that fire to himself, particularly around the paparazzi. He was young, Viktor had reasoned. He had time to learn. Viktor took a sip from the champagne flute in his hand, looking around the room as he spoke, "Better get used to it, Yuri, you're in the big leagues now."

A huff came from the small figure beside him, a moment of silence passing before he finally spoke up, "You've got to be kidding, what's that clown doing here?"

With Yuri's question, Viktor turned to look in the direction his companion was staring, and the sight truly caught him off guard. Of all the people he expected to see at the banquet, Yuuri Katsuki was not one of them. It wasn't that he didn't think he belonged there. On the contrary, Viktor was pleased to get the chance to see him again, but Yuuri's skate hadn't exactly been the most inspiring of performances. It was obvious that Yuuri wasn't taking it well. So why come to the banquet? And then he saw the coach's hands on Yuuri's shoulders, urging him to move into the room, encouraging him to mingle. This wasn't where Yuuri Katsuki wanted to be. This was where he was stuck being until this nightmare finally came to an end.

"Shouldn't he have crawled back to Japan by now?" The Russian voice beside him finally distracted Viktor enough for him to look away, frowning at the young boy.

"He's just as welcome here as anyone else."

Yuri scoffed, "You saw that performance. If you can even call it that."

"Yurochka." Viktor's voice was stern, causing a few people around them to look in their general direction, but Viktor really didn't care. He didn't call Yuri by that name often, only when he was taking things too far, and for Viktor, 'too far' was very subjective. "Rule one of skating; respect your fellow competitors."

" _I_  wasn't competing against him…" Yuri grumbled, but took the hint and let any further insults for the Japanese man across the room die before they left his lips.

The banquet itself had started out quietly, the same routine from every other banquet like it was falling into place as Viktor would be approached by someone, make some small talk, and then excuse himself. It wasn't that Viktor didn't like the attention, he just didn't feel like answering the same questions over and over again. Viktor didn't like routine. He liked surprise. It was with this thought in mind that things in the room began to get a little more interesting.

Viktor had to admit, he had torn his attention away from the Japanese figure skater who always seemed to be on the other side of the room, but it was hard to ignore him now. He was drunk. So very drunk. How much could he possibly have had to cause him to be moving so sluggishly? Viktor couldn't begin to imagine what was going through Yuuri Katsuki's head as he stumbled through the room until he was dancing. And Viktor couldn't for the life of him take his eyes away.

Yuuri Katsuki was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It wasn't just that he could move on the ice. When his inhibitions had faded away, when he was completely lost to the world around him, when Yuuri was dancing for no one but himself, he was absolutely stunning. There was no hesitation in his steps as he dragged the Russian Punk onto the dance floor and Viktor couldn't help but laugh as the young boy protested. Viktor was sure the only reason Yuri was going along with this dance off was because of that strong competitive streak within him. Viktor didn't care. He was just so focused on the way Yuuri moved, the certainty of his every breath. Viktor was in awe of the man before him.

All too quickly, the dance had ended with no clear winner announced, but in Viktor's mind there was no doubt. Yuuri started heading back to the bar for yet another drink and Viktor felt himself struck with one thought.  _I need to dance with him_. Without a second thought, Viktor was walking with so much purpose, making his way towards the dark-haired man who had entranced him both on and off the ice. As he stood beside Yuuri Katsuki, he leaned against the table, a champagne flute still in hand, "You really do move beautifully."

It was the first thought that came to Viktor's mind and perhaps it wasn't the best way to introduce yourself to someone, but he meant every word. The sound of his voice seemed to cause the man beside him to jump, quickly looking up at him and Viktor was sure his heart has stopped at that moment. He had seen Yuuri Katsuki on the ice, but there was so much distance between them then. Now, though… Yuuri was so close and he found himself lost in those rich brown eyes. He could see every detail of those eyes from this close, the flecks of gold within them, the sheer innocence. Viktor wanted to ask for that dance, but as he looked into Yuuri's eyes, words seemed to fail him.

The first emotions he saw in those eyes was easily recognisable. A mix of surprise, shock, and… was Yuuri star struck? Another fan, Viktor had concluded, but it didn't really matter. If nothing else, it meant that he had more of a chance to convince Yuuri to dance with him with all the passion he'd shown moments ago. Viktor was about to ask him to do just that when the look in those dark eyes changed. This was something else. Anger. Hurt. Viktor felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight of it. What was the young man in front of him thinking? What could possibly have those beautiful eyes looking at him like that? And as if he'd heard the question in Viktor's mind, Yuuri finally spoke.

"Why are you quitting, Viktor?" The words were slurred, but Yuuri's expression was filled with sadness. He knew exactly what he was asking.

"I…" Viktor had been asked this question so many times and every time, he'd managed to dodge it. This was the first time someone had truly caught him off guard. He didn't know what to say. And once again, as if Yuuri could hear his thoughts, he spoke again, letting Viktor off the hook. For now.

"You can't! You belong on the ice!" Another statement Viktor had heard from most of the press and almost everyone in that room, but never had he heard it said with such desperation. And once again, Yuuri's expression shifted. The hurt disappearing and now nothing but pure resolve was left behind, "If I win gold at the next Grand Prix Final, you have to come back to the ice. You're going to compete again."

It didn't even seem to be a question. Yuuri seemed so certain that he was going to win gold the following year and Viktor would be back on the ice. Without thinking, Viktor tilted his head to the side, his silver locks, shifting out of his eyes as he did, "And what about if you lose? What do I get then?"

Yuuri seemed to consider the words for a moment, "What do you want?"

And Viktor had never been more certain of anything in his life, "One dance." He reached out, brushing his fingers against Yuuri's chin, causing the man before him to look back up into his eyes, "One dance filled with all that passion you keep hidden within you. I want to know who Yuuri Katsuki really is."

A blush crept up Yuuri's face and Viktor couldn't help but smile. Reluctantly, he dropped his hand from Yuuri's face, raising an eyebrow, determined to maintain that eye contact for as long as he possibly could. Yuuri hesitantly reached out a hand, taking Viktor's and shaking it between them, "D-Deal."

Neither of them had any idea what they'd just signed up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> This author replies to comments. (Unless I'm stumped for what to say, but I try!)
> 
> “If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (sometimes I feel shy when I’m reading and not up to starting a conversation, for example), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!“


	2. Chapter 2

It had been so long since Yuuri had last set foot in Hasetsu. There were many reasons why he hadn't come back before that moment. He tried to keep skating after what he could only describe as 'the incident' that was Sochi. He had tried to train, to keep motivated. There was only so much he could do when he had humiliated himself not only in front of the world, but in front of his idol. His idol who would no longer be competing. That thought haunted him, the thought that he had completely blown his one chance to show Viktor how important he was to the skating community. With each failure, Yuuri's resolve crumbled, until finally he had cut ties with Celestino. Now he'd finished college, heading back home just seemed like the obvious choice to make.

It had been a year since that fateful day in Sochi, that day where everything just seemed to fall apart around him. Yuuri was determined to leave it behind. Of course, that was easier said than done when everyone in his hometown knew who he was. He could hear the murmurs as he stepped off the plane. The people surrounding him were all wondering why Yuuri Katsuki was back home so soon. It took all his self-control not to respond.  _Because I failed. Because I don't belong on the ice. Because I'm not good enough_.

The thoughts were promptly cut off as an all too familiar voice rang through the airport, "Yuuri! Welcome home!" And just as quickly as the voice began speaking, Yuuri was swept into a tight hug. He had to admit, it had caught him off guard. There were so many terrible thoughts running through his head over the months, he had convinced himself that no one would be pleased to see him return home. He should've known that his dance instructor wouldn't just give up on him.

Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Minako, allowing himself to smile, "Good to be back."

She pulled away from the hug, taking Yuuri by the wrist and beginning to drag him from the airport. There was this feeling of familiarity that came with the gesture. He could recall so many times when the older woman had grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his room, encouraging him to stop wallowing in self-pity and show the world his talents. He never really believed he had any to show, but he would always indulge her. Minako wasn't one to take no for an answer, and Yuuri was never up for the fight. He had to admit that her determination had taken him far, though. Yuuri couldn't possibly have learned to move the way he did on the ice without her help. If only he had been able to show that in Sochi. If only he hadn't let her down.

"Come on, everyone's been dying to see you." With those words hanging in the air, Yuuri stopped in his tracks, causing the woman still holding his arm to stop and turn back to him, "What?" She sighed softly, seeming to understand his silent apprehension, "You made it to the finals. We're all proud of you. No one thinks any less of you after what happened, Yuuri."

 _I do_. Yuuri's eyes were fixed on the ground. It had been so long since Sochi, and every time he thought maybe he had finally gotten over the humiliation, he remembered it all over again. Sometimes he wondered if this would follow him to the grave, if he'd still remember this horrible feeling when he's old and grey. But of course, he would. He knew he would. This wasn't the kind of feeling you could just forget, no matter how much he might want to. The thought of being in a room of people who knew he'd messed up was just too painful. Yuuri kept his eyes on the ground, biting his lip, "I just want to go home."

"But everyone wants to see you." Minako's voice wasn't quite so demanding anymore. Her grip on his arm had loosened. She knew that no matter how much she wanted to, this wasn't something she could force on him.

"Please, Minako." Reluctantly, Yuuri finally met her eyes, "It was a long flight. I want to get some rest." He wasn't lying. Not completely. The flight from Detroit to Japan had two stops, and lasted twenty-two hours. He was exhausted just thinking about it. Of course, the thought of seeing people and trying to act like he wasn't completely humiliated wasn't something he wanted to have to deal with either. Maybe once he'd had more than a few hours of sleep.

Luckily for Yuuri, Minako seemed to accept this and finally conceded, heading instead towards Yu-topia. The last hot springs remaining in the town of Hasetsu. The place he'd called home for most of his life. It had been so long since he last set foot in Yu-topia, it felt almost surreal as they stepped inside. It felt like nothing had changed, though. The walls all decorated the same way, the familiar scent of his mother's cooking. It was at this moment he could understand what people meant when they said there's no place like home. In all his time spent traveling and attempting to achieve his dream, no where had felt as comforting as this did. He was starting to wonder why he'd left in the first place.

"Hiroko, guess who's home!" Minako called out from behind him in a sing-song voice and Yuuri couldn't help but smile. Things felt so… normal. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so welcome. And just as that thought entered his mind, his mother was rushing into the room, pulling him into her arms.

"It's so good to have you back." Her voice was so sincere as she held Yuuri tightly against her, and he really didn't know how to feel. There was guilt, certainly. His mother had watched that performance live. She saw his failure. After all the faith she had put in him, he had let her down. There was nothing he could do to take that back, and it hurt. Yet still, he was just so happy to see her, and she was so welcoming.

Yuuri wrapped his arms around his mother, holding her close and letting himself indulge in that feeling he'd missed so much.

"You must be starving, let me get you something to eat." Hiroko reluctantly let go of her son, her smile beaming. Normally, Yuuri would've taken her up on the offer. No one could cook quite like his mother did, and he hadn't tasted her food in years. Still, he was just so exhausted after his flights, and he knew that if he didn't go rest, it'd be enough for Minako to drag him back out that door to greet whoever she'd planned for him to see.

"Thanks mom, but I think I'm just going to lay down for a while. It was a long flight." He smiled reassuringly, knowing that if he didn't, she'd probably worry.

"Oh, alright dear. Your room's just the way you left it. If you need anything, just let us know, okay?"

Yuuri nodded, "Thanks, mom." And with that, he made his way up to the room he'd grown up in. It felt strange, walking down the hall towards his bedroom. It'd been such a long time, but everything was just the same. It was as though Hasetsu had been frozen in time while he was gone. Nothing had changed, that's how it felt. Nothing, but him. Yuuri had changed a lot, though not exactly for the better. He was just as anxious and self-conscious. He was just as afraid to open up to those around him. He was just as afraid in general, really. Maybe he hadn't changed so much after all…

Opening his bedroom door, Yuuri froze. It really was just the way he'd left it. It took him a moment to get himself to move again, stepping into the small room he'd called his for so long. Dragging his bag in with him, Yuuri closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of his bed, just taking in his room. Everything was familiar. Including the myriad of posters plastered all over his walls, Viktor Nikiforov's flawless features staring back at him. A reminder that he had failed. He wasn't good enough to skate on the same ice as Viktor. He never would be. Yuuri sighed softly, getting to his feet and slowly beginning the process of taking each poster from his walls. He didn't need them anymore. It wasn't as though they inspired him anymore, they just reminded him that Viktor Nikiforov was there, he'd watched Yuuri fail. Sighing softly, Yuuri tossed the posters into the corner of the room, laying back on his bed and staring at the ceiling. It had been so long, and nothing had changed. He was still as weak as ever. With thoughts of failure, retirement, ice, and a Russian god in his mind, Yuuri drifted to sleep.

* * *

 

Yuuri couldn't be sure of just how long he'd slept for. It was dark out by the time he'd finally woken up and he had to admit it was nice to be able to sleep so soundly for so long. Reaching for the phone beside him on the bed, he held it up, the light blinding him for a moment as he checked the time. Seven o'clock. He still had time. Sitting up in the bed, he grabbed his glasses, slipping them on and tugged on his shoes. He didn't know why, but the ice still had a way of calling him. He still felt that need to skate, even if he did just want to give it up. It wasn't where he belonged, but it was where he wanted to be.

Yuuri rushed down the stairs, calling out that he was leaving, and before anyone had a chance to say anything he was out the door and running down the street. Yuuri had run along this path so many times, always heading to Ice Castle. It was strange for him to consider any ice rink a sanctuary after the last year, but he found himself drawn to Ice Castle, knowing that it would be the one place he'd feel safe to indulge in a past time he should've given up long ago.

Making his way inside, he noticed how empty the place was. It wasn't all that surprising, really. Technically, they were closed. The only reason those doors were still open was because the staff were still inside, packing away skates and preparing for the next day. Sure enough, as Yuuri slowly walked inside, looking around the familiar space, he heard a voice he'd long since grown accustom to, even if it had been a long time, "Sorry, we're closed!"

Yuuri nodded to himself, knowing the woman wasn't looking his way. His hands were in his pockets, his eyes on the ground. Once he had finally reached the front desk, he worked up the courage to speak, "I don't suppose you could make an exception just this once…?"

"Yuuri…?" The girl's voice was barely a whisper as she finally turned to see the dark-haired man standing at the front desk, his eyes fixed to the ground, "Is that really you…?"

Yuuri took a shaky breath as he looked up at her, offering a smile as he nodded. That was apparently all she needed to get excited. She practically leapt over the counter to hug him. Yuuko Nishigori. The girl who had introduced him to the ice. The girl who had introduced him to figure skating, and Viktor Nikiforov. Her chestnut brown eyes always so filled with love, and care, and hope. Yuuko had been the one to push him to pursue his dreams. She had always believed that he would skate on the same ice as Viktor one day, and she had never stopped believing in Yuuri's abilities. He was lucky to have a friend like her.

Reluctantly pulling away, her smile was so bright and warm as she looked up at him, "I can't believe you're here! How have you been!?" The excitement was so clear in her voice and Yuuri couldn't help but smile. It was nice to know that despite the mistakes of the past, people weren't holding it against him. Maybe it wasn't quite as bad as he had made it out to be.

"Oh, you know. Same old." Yuuri shrugged, offering her a small smile. He didn't want to get into the details. He gave up on skating, but stayed in Detroit for college. Now he was home and had no idea what he was supposed to do with his life. It wasn't the most inspiring of stories. Yuuko had surely seen the mess that was Sochi, though. And sure enough, she didn't ask any questions, simply handing Yuuri a pair of skates.

"The rink's all yours."

"Are you sure?" Of course, this was what Yuuri had hoped for when he made his way to Ice Castle; an evening free of people, to simply skate on his own without worrying about anything else. Still, he didn't want that to make Yuuko's job more difficult.

Yuuko simply flashed him another one of her smiles, "Of course it is, you know you're always welcome here."

"Thanks, Yuuko." Yuuri looked down at the skates in his hands for a moment. He was lucky to have a friend like her, someone who hadn't given up on him despite his countless number of failures. He was starting to realise that most of his friends and family seemed to feel similarly. If only the rest of the world could grant him that kindness. If only his own mind could let Sochi go.

* * *

 

Viktor Nikiforov had spent the last year since his retirement helping Yakov to train Mila and Yuri. Occasionally Georgi would ask Viktor to teach him something, but mostly it was Mila and Yuri who fought for his attention. It wasn't so bad, really. They both had so much potential, Viktor was sure they could both go far. It only helped that they were so determined to prove themselves. Though Viktor was no longer skating competitively, he was still able to skate if he was helping them. He was sure that alone was the only reason Yakov had stopped nagging him to reconsider his retirement. Perhaps the older man thought that the longer Viktor stayed on the ice, the sooner he'd give in to temptation. Maybe that would've worked, too. If only Yuuri Katsuki had held up his end of the bargain.

Viktor had kept tabs on Yuuri ever since the night of the banquet a year ago. He was determined to see Yuuri reach the podium, though part of him didn't want him to get gold just so that he could get that dance. Still, Viktor knew he was more than capable of it. So why did the Japanese man who had his full attention since that day seem to disappear from existence? From Viktor's searches, he could see that Yuuri wasn't exactly the kind of person to take to social media. He had an Instagram account that he never used, and Viktor was sure he only had it to keep up with his friends. He had no twitter account, no other social media accounts at all. Yuuri was a mystery. Viktor really didn't mind. From Sochi, he could see that Yuuri Katsuki was not the kind of person who handled media well, so of course it made sense for him to avoid it at all costs. Still, the final straw was when he didn't appear at the Fukuoka Grand Prix Final. They had made a deal, and Viktor had never been more serious about anything as he was about this deal.

And that was how Viktor Nikiforov found himself walking down the streets of Hasetsu with his loyal poodle, Makkachin at his side. He needed answers, and if Yuuri had given up, he needed that dance. Still, even in Hasetsu, Yuuri had made himself difficult to find. Viktor had asked many people where he could find him and though a lot of them knew who he was, few knew if he was even in Hasetsu. Viktor couldn't think of anywhere else he'd be, though. Finally, he'd been guided by a kind stranger to the doors of Yu-topia Katsuki. Surely if he was going to find Yuuri anywhere, it would be here.

As he walked into the hot springs, the first thing he noticed was how homely it felt. It was clearly a place filled with love and he couldn't help but be glad Yuuri had been brought up in such a warm environment. Those thoughts were interrupted as a woman came to welcome him, bowing politely and he was reminded that this was Japan and definitely not Russia. As the woman stood up straight once more, he caught a glimpse of her eyes and he was sure his heart stopped for a moment. Those eyes. The only difference from those eyes that had entranced him back in Sochi was the wisdom of years that had replaced the innocence.

"I… uh…" Viktor had once again been caught off guard, but was saved by Makkachin as his faithful poodle jumped up at the woman, barking playfully.

"Oh, what a precious thing, he looks just like our Yuuri's Vicchan." She wasted no time, kneeling to rub behind the poodle's ears, a gesture which was greedily accepted.

Viktor was grateful for the moment to think, as well as that little tidbit of information. She'd more or less confirmed that Yuuri has at least been here. Viktor made a mental note to get Makkachin some more of his favorite treats. "He'll do anything for a bit of attention." Viktor chuckled, brushing his bangs from his eyes, "You said Yuuri, yes? You wouldn't by any chance mean Yuuri Katsuki?"

"Oh yes, of course." The woman stood up straight once more, a caring smile proudly on display as she spoke, "Are you a friend of Yuuri's?"

"Tak mozhno skazat." Viktor spoke softly, offering the woman one of his famous smiles, "Is he staying here?"

"Yuuri lives here." She kept that kind smile as she spoke, "But if you're looking for him, I'm afraid he isn't here right now."

Viktor nodded hesitantly as he listened to her, "Do you happen to know where he is at the moment? I really need to speak with him."

"When he isn't here, you'll usually find him at Ice Castle. It's a skating rink not too far from here. I can give you directions if you'd like."

The woman was just so kind and helpful and Viktor silently hoped that Yuuri had inherited that kindness, because it was incredibly endearing. After getting directions from the woman he had found out was Yuuri's mother, he asked for a room, unsure of exactly how long he was going to be staying in Hasetsu. With that encounter out of the way, Viktor once again was walking along the streets with his poodle in tow, this time with much more purpose to his strides. Yuuri was still spending time at the local rink. That was a good sign, it meant he hadn't completely given up on the sport. That just left him with more questions, though. If he hadn't given up on the sport, why wasn't he at the Grand Prix Final? Why wasn't he skating in competitions?

It didn't take long to get to the ice rink, it really was close to Yu-topia. He pushed open the door, walking over to the front desk just in time to hear a woman call out, "Sorry, we're closed!"

Viktor couldn't help but smile as Makkachin jumped up, resting his front paws on the desk in front of them, "That's a shame, I was told I could find Yuuri Katsuki here."

The sound of his voice seemed to startle the woman who was in the middle of shelving a pair of skates. She whipped her head so fast in Viktor's direction, he was sure she had to have given herself whiplash. He simply watched in amusement as she looked between Viktor and Makkachin. A moment of silence passed between them before she finally squealed, holding her hands to her mouth to muffle the sound. "V-Viktor Nikiforov!" Her voice was still stifled by her hand, trying to calm herself down.

"Nice to meet you." Viktor smiled brightly, but that just seemed to cause the woman's hysterics to begin anew. He tilted his head to the side, waiting for her to calm down before he finally continued, "I heard Yuuri Katsuki would be here." He reiterated, hoping he'd get some answers. Of course, he was willing to go somewhere else if he had to in order to find him, but Viktor would really prefer to find him in a place like this.

With her breathing and excitement finally under control, the woman smiled, nodding emphatically, "Yes, o-of course. Yuuri's skating right now, would you like to join him?"

"That would be wonderful." He rested a hand on Makkachin's head, and suddenly Viktor was the one trying to hold back his excitement. He was finally going to see Yuuri on the ice again. Not only that, there seemed to be no one else here. Everyone had told him that Yuuri was like a different person when he had the room to himself. Viktor knew he would be forever grateful to this excited woman in front of him, "Prosti, I didn't catch your name."

"Oh, right. I'm Yuuko Nishigori, it's an honor to meet you!" And Viktor could see just how genuinely she felt those words. Were all the skaters in Hasetsu this fanatic? He wasn't sure. He certainly remembered how star struck Yuuri had been when they met. "Please, right this way."

Before he knew what was happening, Viktor was being offered some skates and ushered into the rink. The room was silent, aside from the soft sound of Yuuri's skates gliding across the ice. Viktor stayed quiet. He didn't want to disturb the other man. Not yet. Leaning against the barrier, he watched closely as Yuuri moved. The first thing he noticed was that step sequence. That all too familiar sequence that he'd seen a year before. Yuuri was skating the program from Sochi, but this time, as far as he was concerned, no one was watching. He had no one to judge him, and with that notion in mind, Yuuri was able to land every jump, moving with such perfectly calculated movements. Viktor knew Yuuri Katsuki had potential, but he never expected to see him moving like this. There was no music playing, but there didn't need to be. It was as though you could hear the music just by watching him. His body told the story all on its own.

As the program finally came to a close, Yuuko began to clap excitedly, bouncing up and down beside Viktor. It was so pleasing to know that Yuuri had such supportive people in his life. He had wanted to let the moment last a little bit longer, to enjoy how serene Yuuri seemed to be, but with Yuuko's clapping, he supposed now was as good a time as any to announce his presence. "It's a shame you didn't skate like that back in Sochi. You could've made it onto the podium." Viktor's voice was gentle and sincere as he spoke.

The Russian accent penetrated through Yuuri's defences. He shifted his gaze from the ice to see that  _Viktor Nikiforov_  was standing on the sidelines. Watching him. Taken off guard, Yuuri lost his balance, falling hard on the ice with a low grunt. This was a sight Viktor had become very familiar with. He was silently glad Yuuko had insisted he put on a pair of skates of his own, slipping off the guards and making his way onto the ice to help his fellow skater to his feet. Viktor held out a hand as he looked down at the dark-haired man, seeing that innocence and shock still in those eyes.

Yuuri didn't take his hand at first, sitting upright on the ice but never taking his eyes off Viktor. He was here. Why was he here? What business would he have in Hasetsu of all places? "V-Viktor. What… what are you doing here?" His voice was barely a whisper and if Viktor hadn't been standing right in front of him, he probably wouldn't have heard it.

"We have some business." It sounded so ominous, but Viktor's voice remained light.

"W-We do?" Yuuri was genuinely confused by the statement. What business could he possibly have with the Russian God of figure skating?

Viktor finally gave up on waiting for Yuuri to take his offered hand, instead reaching down and taking him by the arm, pulling him to his feet. The action seemed to immediately cause a blush to rise on his cheeks and Viktor couldn't help but think it was kind of adorable.

"We had a deal. Why weren't you at Fukuoka?"

Yuuri paused, trying to figure out what on Earth Viktor was talking about. And he really did wish he could figure it out because it was bad enough having his idol see him fail the way he had a year ago, but to let him down again just wouldn't fly. Still, Yuuri had no idea what Viktor meant. He had never spoken to Viktor before, why how could they possibly have a deal of any kind? "I… uh… wh-what deal?"

Viktor crossed his arms over his chest, "You're kidding, right? How could you forget?"

"I-I'm sorry, I really d-don't know what you're talking about." Yuuri had to repress the urge to get on his knees and beg for Viktor to forgive him.

It was at that moment that it finally clicked for Viktor. He rested his hand on his chin, his finger pressing against his lips as he thought about the situation, "Konechno… you had a lot to drink that night. I don't know why I didn't realise sooner."

Yuuri's eyes widened at the statement. He'd had a lot to drink? In front of Viktor? Oh god, what had he done? How much apologising was he going to need to do? He thought Sochi had been bad enough already, but for him to have gotten drunk in front of his idol, too? "I-I'm so sorry. When I'm drunk I don't r-really act rationally. If I did anything wrong, I-"

Before Yuuri could continue his thought, Viktor was skating closer, closing the gap between them. A hand rested on Yuuri's waist, the other resting on his chin, ensuring Yuuri was looking into his eyes. Now, Yuuri had had a lot of panic attacks in his life. He had felt his heart pounding in his chest plenty of times, but it had never felt quite like this. The blush was back to his cheeks, and even if Viktor's hand wasn't on his chin, he knew he couldn't possibly look away from those heavenly azure blue eyes. "You did nothing wrong, Yuuri. Nothing at all." Viktor's voice was so soft, Yuuri could feel the hot breath against his skin, and was the room getting warmer? He was sure the ice beneath them would melt at any moment.

"Then… w-why are you here?" When Yuuri finally found his voice, it came out just as soft as Viktor's had.

Just as quickly as Viktor had closed the gap between them, he'd stepped away again, crossing his arms over his chest. Yuuri's breath was still caught in his throat, his heart beating so hard in his chest he was sure Viktor could hear it.

"We made a deal at the banquet. If you won Gold at the Grand Prix Final, I would return to competitive skating." Viktor said it so simply. How could he have made a deal like that? He didn't believe in himself enough to make a deal like that. Though he supposed, at that time he had been so desperate not only to prove himself to Viktor, but to share the ice with him. He would've done just about anything to see Viktor skating again.

"Is… is that all the deal was?"

"No, actually." Viktor smiled and Yuuri could see him inch just a little bit closer, "If you lost, you would have to dance with me, with all the passion you'd shown at the banquet." Yuuri's eyes widened at that statement. All the passion he'd shown at the banquet? What the hell had he done with all the alcohol in his system? Why couldn't he remember? How much had he downed? He knew he was hurting that night, but to completely repress that entire evening? Viktor seemed to sense the confusion and uncertainty in Yuuri. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, holding it up with a bright, heart shaped smile, "I have pictures! Do you want to see?"

"No! No, no, no! Absolutely not!" Yuuri didn't want to know how much he'd humiliated himself. Just the failure of the skate was enough for a lifetime. At any other time, that smile would've had him swooning, but he was just so confused and nervous, and how the hell was this happening!? "I… um. Well, you see… I gave up skating after Sochi."

"And yet here you are." Viktor pointed out, his eyes never leaving Yuuri's. He had a point. Despite quitting the sport, Yuuri was still skating all the time. He couldn't help himself. He wanted to be on the ice. He wanted to belong there, even if he wasn't so sure he did.

Yuuri didn't acknowledge the statement, knowing that he couldn't really defend himself, "So I uh… I guess I owe you a dance…" He trailed off, staring at the ground. He really didn't want to do it. He knew he'd step all over Viktor's feet, but if it was what he owed him, he would just have to suck it up. He'd caused his idol enough disappointment already. That's what he had thought, at least. When he looked back up at Viktor, he saw that winning his dance didn't seem to make him happy, "…What?"

Viktor shook his head, "No, that's all wrong. You cannot simply give in. If it were that simple, I would have danced with you at the banquet. This needs to be a challenge." He paused, "Unless of course, you don't want to see me on the ice again."

The words cut deep into Yuuri. All he had wanted since the moment Viktor's retirement had been announced was to see him back on the ice. He kept telling himself that Viktor couldn't stay away forever, that he would come back one more time. He had to. Yuuri sighed sadly, looking at the ground, "It's not that I don't want to…"

"So, what is the problem?"

"I have no coach." Yuuri pointed out. He knew full well that Celestino wasn't going to take him back.

"Who says you need one? You have a dance instructor, yes?"

"She's not a skater, though."

"What about Yuuko?" Viktor questioned, gesturing to the girl who apparently had been watching them this whole time.

"Sh-She's never skated competitively."

"Alright," Viktor smirked, tilting his head to the side as he watched Yuuri, "You have me, then."

"What?" The statement had once again taken him off guard. Viktor liked to surprise people, but Yuuri was sure this was far more surprises in one night than he'd ever been dealt in his life.

"I helped Coach Yakov train his students back home. I can help you, too." Viktor held out his hand to Yuuri, "I want you to try. If you succeed, I'll return to the ice. If you fail, I get my dance."

Yuuri stared at the older man's hand for a long moment before hesitantly reaching out to take it, "Okay…"

After all, Yuuri really couldn't deny his idol anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't speak Russian, so if I got these translations wrong, I'm sorry!
> 
> Tak mozhno skazat - You could say that
> 
> Prosti - I'm sorry
> 
> Konechno - Of course


	3. Chapter 3

The first month went by quickly, and Yuuri couldn't be sure if it was because he was so happy, or because good things weren't meant to last in his life. It was still difficult. He continued to struggle whenever Viktor got too close to him. How could he not? It was _Viktor Nikiforov_ and he seriously seemed to have an issue with personal space. It seemed like he would invade Yuuri's at every given opportunity. It wasn't that Yuuri didn't like the attention. Quite the opposite. He liked it a little too much, and he had to keep reminding himself that this wasn't permanent. This wasn't forever. Once he'd participated in the next Grand Prix Final, that was the last he'd see of Viktor, so he couldn't get used to the gentle brush of Viktor's hand against his wrist as they passed each other, or the way his heart shaped smile beamed so overwhelmingly when he got excited. Yuuri couldn't let himself get used to this. It would only hurt more when Viktor eventually decided to move on with his life.

As for Viktor, he was finding the whole situation exhilarating. This was the first time he'd been to Japan, and aside from competitions, he knew this was going to be the longest time he'd spent away from home. It probably sounded like something he would regret, but even when something reminded him of home, he was happy. He didn't miss it, not really. He was too focused on learning new things about this world he had stepped into; Yuuri's world. He was too interested in learning everything he could about the shy skater filled with potential. It hadn't been long, but he'd already learned a few things. His favorite food was katsudon, and Viktor had to admit, Yuuri had good taste. Makkachin had inspired Yuuri to get a poodle of his own. He knew that it may have been named after himself, but he liked to believe it was seeing how adorable Makkachin was that spurred Yuuri to get his own dog.

There were other, more intimate things he'd gotten to learn about Yuuri, too. The shy skater was definitely not a morning person. Viktor had found himself waking Yuuri up before he slept until noon on more than one occasion. From those moments, he learned that he would often forget to take his glasses off before he fell asleep. He wasn't sure why, but there were times when Viktor found himself slipping them off Yuuri's face and setting them beside his bed. It wasn't just nerves that caused him to fail his jumps either, Viktor had learned. It seemed that Yuuri could never land his jumps when he had something on his mind, something bothering him. He hadn't broached the topic, because it also seemed that Yuuri really wasn't the kind of person who liked to open up. He'd have to wait for him to come to Viktor first.

Technically speaking, Viktor wasn't Yuuri's coach. He was just helping him prepare, helping him train. If Yuuri didn't want to listen to his advice, he didn't have to, but Viktor found that he almost always did. It was a far cry from the resistance he'd received from Yuri, and even sometimes from Mila. Still, he always found the most difficult thing he could talk Yuuri into was taking a break. Despite his late mornings and how closely he hid his emotions, Yuuri Katsuki wouldn't stop until he made some form of progress. It was rousing, causing Viktor to feel a need to live up to Yuuri's expectations.

Sure enough, the clock was quickly heading towards eight o'clock, which was a lot later than Viktor was used to waking. He sighed softly, stepping out of his room in the onsen and heading to Yuuri's. He knocked gently on the door, mostly to be polite. He had done this many times by now, he knew he wasn't going to get an answer. After a moment, Viktor opened the door, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the lump under the blankets, tufts of dark hair sticking out from them. It was at least encouraging that Yuuri had managed to take his glasses off before he fell asleep this time.

"Yuuri. Time to get up." Viktor's voice was firm yet gentle. No matter how many times they went through this routine, he always felt a little bit guilty. Yuuri just looked so comfortable, and he really didn't want to disturb him. Still, he needed to train. Yuuri had potential that couldn't go to waste. Sure enough, as with every morning, Yuuri's grumbles could be heard from under the blankets. Viktor watched as the lump beneath them shifted but made no attempt to leave the confines of the fabric, "Yuuri, come on."

"Mm No… Viktor…" Another part of their routine that he was familiar with; Yuuri trying to protest, to beg for another five minutes of sleep. Sometimes, Viktor did give in, but they were running late today. Viktor had plans for today's training, so he wanted Yuuri up as soon as possible. Viktor sighed, pushing himself away from the doorway and taking a few steps into the room. It was as he was reaching for the blanket that he realised this morning's routine was different.

Yuuri mumbled some more and Viktor discovered something new about this talented younger man. Yuuri Katsuki talked in his sleep. Watching the lump under the blankets for a moment, he heard Yuuri speak again, his voice filled with the soft lilt of sleep, "Viktor… stop it…"

And apparently the dreams were about him. Viktor couldn't help but frown when he heard him. It wasn't that he hated the idea of Yuuri dreaming of him. It was just that 'stop it' and 'no' didn't sound like the most pleasant of things to say. Were the dreams with the Russian in them so bad? But just as Viktor was thinking about what kind of horrible things he must be doing to Yuuri within his mind, the younger man started giggling. He was actually giggling in his sleep and it was possibly the most adorable thing he'd ever heard. In that moment, Viktor really wished that blanket wasn't obscuring his view. Unable to resist anymore, Viktor reached out, carefully lifting the blanket from Yuuri's sleeping form. Somehow, this just made Yuuri all the more adorable as Viktor caught sight of his arms wrapped tightly around his pillow, hugging it to his chest, a soft 'don't' being mumbled against it as he continued giggling in his sleep.

Viktor sighed sadly, knowing that no matter how endearing this sight was, he couldn't let it last. Yuuri would only feel guilty if he slept in much longer. He knew, he'd seen it firsthand. Reluctantly, Viktor rested a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently as his voice came out soft, "Yuuri? Come on, breakfast time."

It took a few more tries before Yuuri's eyes finally opened. Looking up and seeing icy blue eyes looking down at him caused Yuuri's to open all the wider in shock, the surprise of the moment causing him to jolt up in bed and tumble off the mattress, landing at Viktor's feet. He had to be grateful that he was holding a pillow, it taking the brunt of the fall. He groaned softly, hiding his face in the pillow he was now laying on and mumbling softly, "Okay, okay…"

Viktor silently wondered if Yuuri was blushing into that pillow. That was another thing he'd learned about him. Yuuri Katsuki blushed a lot. Viktor wasn't sure what it was that caused it. It felt like just about anything did, but he didn't mind. It was yet another endearing quality. Curiosity got the better of him as he watched the man at his feet, tilting his head, "What were you dreaming about?"

"What!?" Yuuri was more awake than Viktor had ever seen him this soon after being lulled from his sleep. Sure enough, his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment as he stared up at Viktor, wide eyed, "Nothing! W-Why?"

"No reason. You were just smiling." Viktor shrugged. It wasn't exactly a lie, but he could tell that admitting he had heard Yuuri say his name in his sleep would probably be a bad idea. His suspicion was only confirmed as he watched Yuuri visibly relax. Stepping out of the room and heading downstairs, he called out to Yuuri, "Hurry up, we have a lot to do today!"

Yuuri watched Viktor's retreating figure as he left the room, never taking his eyes off him until he was eventually out of sight. He hoped Viktor couldn't read his mind, couldn't tell that he'd woken from such a wonderful dream… It wasn't even that explicit, he told himself, hoping that that would be enough to assuage the guilt he was feeling. He was sure this was creepy. You don't just have dreams about people, even if they are your idol. All he could do was pray that Viktor never found out. Rubbing tiredly at his eyes, Yuuri reached up to take his glasses, slipping them over his nose. He fumbled blindly for his phone, sighing softly when he felt it under his fingers and held it to his face, seeing the time. That was the only thing that could possibly get him moving out of bed as quickly as he did, tripping over himself as he rushed to get changed.

* * *

 

The morning had been a bit of a blur. After having a breakfast in relative silence (Viktor made small talk about literally anything he could think of while Yuuri watched him curiously, only speaking up when he felt it absolutely necessary), they had headed out for the morning, jogging around the area in the same way Yuuri had gotten used to doing every morning for the last month. It was strange how easily things seemed to slip into routine with Viktor around. It wasn't exactly something he thought he could get used to. Just like with his skating career, Viktor seemed to enjoy surprising him as much as he could in everyday life, too. Still, despite the fact that his heart still hammered in his chest when he saw Viktor smile, or that he still woke up expecting it to all be a dream, the training itself felt natural, like he'd done this for years. And Yuuri supposed that in a way, he had. The only difference this time was that Viktor was there.

"Do you have any ideas for programs?" Viktor's voice echoed through the empty rink and Yuuri was once again grateful that Yuuko and Takeshi were letting him use this place to train. He'd have to find a way to make it up to them. Yuuri wasn't really doing anything in particular as he drifted along the ice, just letting the skates move him however they wanted to as he listened to Viktor's voice. They'd tried a few times for Viktor to teach him some of the quads he didn't already know, but Yuuri had yet to land them, always overanalysing things, or second guessing himself.

Yuuri's eyes drifted from the ice he was slowly moving along to the icy blue eyes that were watching him off to the side, "Not really. I always had a coach for that." He shrugged. It wasn't the best answer he could give, but it was all he had. Yuuri wasn't much of a choreographer. He was much better at analysing the story behind the performance and making it his own. It certainly wasn't a bad thing, but when you were lacking a coach, it made things a lot more difficult.

If Yuuri's eyes hadn't drifted back to the ice as he moved in slow circles, occasionally outstretching his arms to maintain his balance, he would've noticed the thoughtful look on Viktor's face. Without really think much of it, Yuuri had shifted his weight until he was landing a triple toe loop as if it was the most effortless thing he could attempt. Just as quickly, he was back to skating slow circles along the ice. It was just the way Yuuri worked. Some days, he was constantly rushing through attempts of jumps. Others were like this one, a lazy feeling taking over him, only attempting jumps when something in himself told him to. He knew that it probably wasn't the best way to spend training, that he should really be refining things rather than just skating in slow circles, but Viktor seemed to understand. It was a calming process for Yuuri. He needed to let himself feel comfortable on the ice, to feel like he belonged there. If that meant skating slow circles, watching his footing, and only the occasional attempt at a jump, Viktor wouldn't push him.

Sometimes, Viktor wondered why Yuuri didn't attempt the quads when he was like this, but he understood. Yuuri was an insecure person, and these moments were meant to make those insecurities fade away. Risking a jump he hadn't successfully landed in a moment that was meant to calm him would only ruin the purpose of Yuuri's gentle movements. Viktor just wished the other skater could see that he was capable of everything he'd attempted. He just needed the confidence to follow through. A comfortable silence had fallen between them, the only sound being Yuuri's skates gliding against the ice and the occasional attempt at a jump. Viktor could watch Yuuri like this forever, but he knew they had work to do. Reluctantly, he broke the silence that had fallen between them, "In that case, I may have a program you can use. We'll still need to figure something out for your free skate, but it's a start, right?"

Yuuri's skates halted against the ice, something very rare when he was so comfortably gliding across the frozen surface. His eyes moved from his feet to look back at Viktor and for once, Viktor couldn't quite figure out the emotions on Yuuri's face. There was definitely confusion, but there was something more there, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. "You… you have a program for me?"

Viktor couldn't help but smile. Yuuri seemed so genuinely surprised, like someone was giving him a gift he'd wanted all his life, but his shy nature was telling him he couldn't accept it. Viktor wasn't going to let that happen, though. He knew exactly what program he could offer to Yuuri. After seeing his step sequences, he wanted to watch Yuuri skate this program, to see what he could bring to it. Without thinking, Viktor was skating closer, closing the distance between them until he was reaching out, resting a hand on Yuuri's waist. Their faces were so close now, their noses just barely touching as they looked into each other's eyes. Viktor had always had a problem with personal space and he did know that Yuuri liked his space. That much, he'd learned over the month. Still, he couldn't help but indulge himself in the fact that Yuuri never pulled away. Maybe Yuuri was just too shocked, he wasn't sure, but he'd make the most of it. "It's a perfect program for you, Yuuri. I'm sure you would make it look beautiful…" His voice was soft, tilting his head and offering him a small smile, "But of course, it's up to you."

"No!" Yuuri spoke quickly, catching him off guard. Instantly, a blush grew on Yuuri's cheeks as he realised how sudden he'd been, "I-I mean yes. I mean…" He took a shaky breath, having a silent battle in his mind. His nerves told him to look away, but he didn't want to, because Viktor was so close, and his smile was so warm, and how could anyone not get lost in those eyes? He bit his lip, nodding hesitantly, "I'd love to. I just hope I can do it justice."

With that, Viktor's smile beamed, that adorable heart shaped smile of his that he simply couldn't hold back when he was truly happy. Viktor knew that there was no way Yuuri could let him down. He knew that he was capable of making this program his own. Maybe it would take a little time for Yuuri to let himself feel comfortable with it, but he knew that Yuuri could do it. He'd seen the young skater's steps. He'd seen his passion. If anyone could pull it off, it was him. Just as he was going to voice his thoughts to Yuuri, their moment was interrupted.

"Hey, Viktor! You call this training!?" Even without looking, he could immediately tell who it was. If he ignored the accent, he could hear the annoyance, the frustration. He'd spent so much time training him, it was impossible not to recognise the voice of the rebellious brat who just so happened to be brimming with talent. But why was he here?

Reluctantly, Viktor took a step away, though he didn't take his hand off Yuuri's waist as he looked back to the young blond watching them from the side of the rink, "What are you doing here, Yuri? Did Yakov bring you?" He sincerely doubted it. Yakov had no reason to bring Yuri here.

Viktor turned back to Yuuri with a frown as he felt him pull away and start his gentle glide across the ice once more. He really enjoyed that closeness, but he supposed Yuuri wasn't so good with it, especially when they weren't alone. Turning back to Yuri, he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer. Viktor wouldn't admit it, but he found it incredibly thrilling to have Yuuri's gentle skate, the skate reserved for clearing his nerves being performed around him. Every now and then he'd see Yuuri move along his field of vision and back out of sight again, his eyes never leaving the ice.

"What do you think I'm doing!? You're coming back to Russia with me!"

And just as quickly as Yuuri had slipped back into his soft movements, a loud thud rang out through the empty room, followed by a groan of pain. Viktor had never seen Yuuri so much as stumble when he was in his slow movements, but there he was, face up on the ice, staring at the ceiling and making no move to get back up.

Yuri Plisetsky always did have a way of rushing in like a hurricane, leaving chaos in his wake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations for the Russian are in the end notes. As always, if I get any of the translations wrong, I'm sorry. I don't speak the language D:

It had started out as a really good day, all things considered. Yuuri would never admit what he dreamt about to anyone, especially Viktor himself. How could you tell your idol that they'd been appearing in your dreams more and more these days, being adorably sweet and making your heart soar? It wasn't like Yuuri had never had a dream about Viktor before. Of course he had. He'd dreamt of Viktor skating flawlessly across the ice, of him maybe seeing him skate and telling Yuuri that he was impressed. It was always innocent things. Lately, they had gotten a little closer to home. Now that Yuuri had learned little things about Viktor, things had changed. Since finding out Viktor's love of moving into people's personal space, seeing his real, genuine, heart warming smile, and hearing very real compliments spilling from his lips, the Viktor in his dreams had become more… real.

That morning's particular dream had him pinned down, which he honestly was starting to get used to in his dreams. Viktor Nikiforov didn't know the meaning of personal space. The dream would shift between Viktor's sweet smile and gentle, loving looks, to his lips brushing against his neck as he nuzzled into Yuuri's skin, and the younger man couldn't help but giggle as Viktor's warm breath tickled his skin. The dreams were entirely innocent, never going much further than warm gazes and stolen moments, but that was enough to just make Yuuri even more confused. If he simply dreamt about Viktor as he always had before, he'd know that the Russian was still his idol, important and inspiring in his eyes. If the dreams had become less innocent, wandering hands, marked skin, pleasured sounds filling a silent room (and of course he had never thought like that, that would be crazy…), he'd know that he had the hots for Viktor. That thought wouldn't even be that difficult. Yuuri was sure most of the world had thought about Viktor like that at least once in their lives.

Yuuri's dreams weren't like that, though. His dreams were soft moments that he cherished even though they never existed. They were smiles meant for no one but him, the warm feeling in his chest when Viktor's eyes met his, the feeling of his comforting weight against him as they just held each other, or laid together, or any other number of innocent activities. Yuuri didn't know why he dreamt of Viktor like that. He didn't know what any of it meant and he really tried hard not to think about it.

_You're coming back to Russia with me!_

And now, there he was; laying on the ice, his eyes locked on the ceiling. He didn't dare look over at Viktor, didn't want to look at the Russian punk. It had started out as a good morning. He had even been offered a program created by Viktor Nikiforov himself. That really should've been the red flag in Yuuri's mind. Good things didn't happen to him and ever since Viktor came strolling into his life a month ago, his life had been going a whole lot better than it ever really had before. Good things weren't meant to last for him. That was just the way it worked.

"No, I'm not. Is that all you came here for?" Yuuri heard Viktor's words, but they didn't really make much sense in his head. Was Viktor really turning him down? Why? Yuuri could technically still stick to their little deal without Viktor there to help him. It would be a lot more difficult, but he could still do it. If Yuuri was honest with himself, he knew he probably wouldn't want to do it without Viktor there, but he made a promise, he had to keep it.

"You made a promise to me! Or did you forget again!?" The younger Russian's voice was filled with anger and frustration. Yuuri couldn't help but feel a pang of hurt. So, Viktor made a deal with the Russian Yuri, too? There really wasn't any reason for that to hurt him, there was no reason for him to believe he was anything special in the eyes of Viktor Nikiforov.

Yuuri's eyes were still glued to the ceiling, not moving to get up even as the ice seemed to stick to his arms. A moment of silence passed through the room before he heard the sound of Viktor's skates moving away, guessing he must've been moving to Yuri. This was it. This would be that moment where Viktor finally decides to leave, to head back home. Yuuri silently wished he'd made the most of that last smile he'd gotten from Viktor.

"You've been nagging me to teach you that routine for months, Yuri. I've taught you it. I kept my promise." The frustration was starting to seep into Viktor's voice. It was strange. Yuuri had never heard Viktor frustrated. Or angry. Or any other bad emotions, really.

"It's not refined yet. It's missing something. You know it is, Viktor. You really want me to perform a half-completed program with your name on it?" That was a low blow. Yuuri could tell the blond was trying to get under Viktor's skin, to push him to do what he wanted him to do. If he was honest, he'd never really heard anyone talk to Viktor like that. He didn't like it, but he knew it wasn't his place to get involved. Instead, he stayed where he was on the ice, lifting a leg until one of his blades was resting flat on the cold surface, but making no move to get up.

"That's not something I can teach you, Yuri. You need to figure it out for yourself. Yakov can help you." Viktor's voice was softer now, like he was really trying to get Yuri to see that he needed to do this himself. The huff he heard in response told Yuuri that it wasn't working.

"So, what? You're just going to stay in Japan with piggy over there?"

Yuuri probably would've been hurt at the name, but he'd heard far worse in the past. He did gain weight quickly. It was one of the reasons he had to be so strict on his diet when he was competing, though he'd never really said as much to Viktor. It was easier to just tell Viktor he wanted something smaller to eat, no matter how much a bowl of calories appealed to him. Another moment of silence passed before Yuuri heard Viktor's skates moving along the ice again. This time, they were moving closer and closer until he saw Viktor hovering over him, offering him a gentle smile. Yuuri was glad he was on the ground, because the way his heart fluttered at the sight of it probably would've made him fall over.

As a hand was offered to him, Yuuri just stared at Viktor for a moment, not sure what to do. He wasn't sure he was ready to get back on his feet. After all, Viktor hadn't responded to Yuri yet. If he got to his feet, would it be for Viktor to say goodbye? Yuuri couldn't really understand it, but after such a short time seeing Viktor every day, he didn't want to go back to being on his own. If he had to make this moment last as long as he possibly could just to get a few more minutes with Viktor, he'd do it. It was like Viktor could read his thoughts. He smirked, moving to sit beside Yuuri on the ice instead, "You can stay if you want to, Yurachka, but I'm not leaving. I still have a lot to do here."

"Neuzheli on deystvitel'no takoi vazhnij?" The young boy's voice rings out across the empty room, and though Yuuri had no idea what he said, he was making no attempt at hiding how annoyed he seemed.

Yuuri glanced over at Viktor, still seated beside him and noticed that Viktor was watching him, gentle, welcoming blue eyes just watching as he'd been staring at the ceiling. It was funny, Viktor's eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue, it reminded Yuuri of ice, yet his gaze always made him feel so warm. As Viktor saw Yuuri looking back at him, he reached out, brushing a hand reassuringly against his arm, "Da."

"Chto ty dumajesh ty mozhesh poluchit' ot svin'i, chevo ty ne mozhesh poluchit' v Rossii? "

Yuuri felt like he was in some kind of foreign movie. He had absolutely no idea what was going on around him, but Viktor's soft smile was reassuring. He said he was going to stay. Did he mean it? Yuuri really couldn't help but cling onto that hope, looking back at the ceiling as Viktor began to gently trace circles against his arm with his finger. Yuuri knew he couldn't look at Viktor anymore without blushing, so it was best to just stare at the ceiling and listen to the surprisingly calming sound of the Russian conversation. This time, Viktor's voice came out soft and Yuuri could practically hear his smile, "Ya ne znayu, no ya ne mogu dozhdat'sya uznat'."

Another grumble was heard from the side of the rink, "Idiot."

Without thinking, Yuuri was raising a finger to the sky to interject, "That word, I know." He knew he probably sounded stupid, but he wasn't fond of the tension that had slowly made its way into the room. He didn't want to think about Viktor leaving, about the things that Yuri could be saying to him to talk him into going back to Russia. Yuuri couldn't make Viktor stay, and really, he didn't want to. It wouldn't be the same if Viktor didn't want to be there.

"You must be very familiar with it, piggy." The Russian punk spoke from the sidelines, causing Yuuri to frown. He probably should've seen that coming.

But then, Viktor was laughing, and it was such a heavenly sound that he really couldn't find it in himself to mind. Yuri Plisetsky was known for his short temper. He still wasn't very good at talking to the press for that reason, and there had been plenty of occasions in the past where Viktor would step in to answer a question for him, or Yakov would announce that Yuri had nothing more to say before guiding him away from the prying eyes of the public. Being insulted by Yuri Plisetsky would probably be seen as a blessing to some people, so he couldn't really complain. Not when it caused Viktor to laugh the way he did. And just as he let himself think about how wonderful that laugh was, Yuuri felt Viktor's hand gently grip his arm. Instinctively, he looked over at the other man, offering him a small smile. He was sure Viktor was worried about him. After all, he had been laying on the ice for a long time now, and Yuuri was sure his clothes would be stuck to it at this rate.

"You okay to keep practicing?" Viktor asked, offering his hand once more. Yuuri didn't say anything, this time taking the offer and getting to his feet.

* * *

 

Of all the ways Yuuri could've been spending his afternoon, this wasn't what he'd expected. There he was, standing on the edge of the ice, Yuri Plisetsky beside him looking thoroughly annoyed with the entire situation, but making no move to leave. His arms were crossed over his chest and they were both watching as Viktor moved along the ice. It wasn't exactly a program that he was skating. It seemed more like he was warming himself up, no doubt preparing to show Yuuri whatever he had planned to teach him. It took Yuuri off guard to hear the young boy next to him speak up, "He never could stay off the ice, even when he retired."

It was hard to tell what Yuri was thinking, his voice masking his emotions, but as they watched Viktor move along the ice as though it were his home, Yuuri couldn't help but smile, "I'm glad. It wouldn't be the same without him."

Yuri scoffed, looking to the floor for a moment, leaning against the barrier, "He's never stopped loving to skate. He just lost his taste for competition. After a while it gets boring, that's what he told me." It was hard to believe. Viktor was a legend. But then, if he really thought about it, with all the consecutive wins, there was a chance it could get boring. Besides, the pressure would no doubt be mounting up. A moment of silence passed between them before Yuri continued, "I'd like to taste it for myself. He says it gets boring, I won't know until I've felt it. I know I can win, this program just needs a little more work."

For the first time since Viktor had started moving on the ice, Yuuri tore his eyes away to look at the boy standing beside him. Yuri didn't look angry or upset. There was a fierce determination in his eyes. He may have come across as nothing but a cocky teenager, but Yuri had a passion. He was determined to win, and anyone could see that. It was impressive, the older man couldn't help but be a little jealous. As he thought about it, he could understand Yuri's desperation. He so badly wanted to win, so much that he travelled across the world just to follow Viktor to perfect his program. Nobody could deny Yuri was dedicated.

Yuuri cleared his throat, taking a shaky breath, "If… I mean… If you want to stay for a while and train with Viktor, it's fine. It's not like he's my coach. And if he wants to teach you, I won't stop him."

It was as though he was speaking another language, the way Yuri was looking at him. His arms were still crossed over his chest, but piercing green eyes were staring into him as though he were trying to understand a mystery with no solution. The moment seemed to stretch on forever before Yuri finally spoke, "You're strange, piggy. We're meant to be competing against each other."

"Doesn't mean we can't help each other." Yuuri shrugged. He had only ever really had one friend in figure skating, but that didn't mean he wasn't willing to help those around him. After all the madness he had been through, he liked to think he would help anyone who would let him. He knew he would've loved to have someone to help him through everything that had happened last year, after all.

"Yeah, yeah. Respect your fellow competitor." Yuri grumbled, "You and Viktor…" The young boy trailed off, and part of Yuuri wanted to know how that sentence could possibly end. A sentence that started with himself and Viktor. Together. There was something so thrilling about the thought of them together, connected in some way, even if it was the simplest of subjects.

"Yuuri! This is the program I want you to learn. Pay attention, okay?" He was broken from his thoughts at the sound of Viktor calling out to him and all he could do was nod in acknowledgement as Viktor settled in the centre of the rink. Watching Viktor, it really did seem like he was born to be on the ice. There was really no other way to describe it. Even just standing still, preparing for his next move, Viktor seemed at home.

Yuri seemed to take this as his cue, starting some music that Viktor must've prepared without him realising. How long had Viktor planned this? It wasn't like he'd run back to the onsen to get the music. He had it here. He was prepared to share this with him. Did Viktor really want him to perform this program?

As the music flowed through the room, Yuuri's attention was solely Viktor's. He wanted to know what kind of program his idol believed so firmly would be perfect for him. Viktor's arms moved so gracefully around himself until he was shooting Yuuri a look, his silver hair sweeping to the side. Yuuri had to brace himself on the barrier behind him at the sight of it, his knees going weak. This wasn't the kind of dance Yuuri had ever seen from Viktor, the kind of emotion he'd expected. There was so much passion in this program, so much sex appeal, and Yuuri couldn't possibly imagine why Viktor thought this would be perfect for him of all people. As the music continued, Yuuri could only watch as Viktor moved through a step sequence, finally reaching the jumps. This program seemed to be backloaded with jumps. It wasn't necessarily a problem. Yuuri had good stamina, so he was sure that was something he could handle. At least, that was what he thought before he saw Viktor effortlessly complete a quad salchow. That wasn't something Yuuri had ever successfully landed. He didn't even know where to start.

Just as quickly as the routine had begun, it seemed to come to an end, Viktor's arms wrapping around himself protectively. Yuuri was completely oblivious to the blush rising on his cheeks, too lost in that performance. His mind kept playing back every movement, afraid he'd forget something, though he couldn't possibly. How could anyone forget that? Sure, there were plenty of people in the world who thought Viktor Nikiforov was a sex god, but his performances rarely put that side of himself on display. Yuuri had never really thought about that side of him before, but now he had a feeling these thoughts might just come back to haunt his dreams some more.

Though Yuuri was staring at Viktor, he didn't really seem to notice that he was moving closer. His hands were still tightly gripping the barrier behind him, trying to keep himself upright when Viktor's voice broke through his thoughts, "What do you think?"

"I… uh…" What was he supposed to say? What could anyone possibly say about a performance like that? If he had any less self-control, he'd probably be throwing himself at him. Yuuri was so very thankful that he did. He didn't need to try to explain that one to Viktor, or indeed the young boy standing beside him. Taking a shaky breath, Yuuri made sure his legs weren't so shaky before he finally let go of the barrier, "I don't know if I can do that." He admitted, looking away. It wasn't that he was scared Viktor would be angry. Yuuri hadn't really seen Viktor get angry at any point before. Yuuri just didn't want to see him disappointed, didn't want to know that he was the one who disappointed Viktor Nikiforov.

"Of course you can." The voice didn't sound upset. No, it sounded amused.

Reluctantly, Yuuri looked up at Viktor, "That routine isn't me."

"It is. Trust me." Viktor chuckled, glancing over at the boy beside him, "Tell him, Yuri."

"Ostav' menya iz rituala sparivaniya." Yuri grumbled, rolling his eyes when Viktor chuckled in response, "Are you going to train me now or not?"

Viktor sighed and Yuuri could've sworn there was some disappointment laced into that sound. He looked back into Viktor's eyes, smiling reassuringly. If Yuuri wanted to perform that program, it was going to take a lot of work, but he didn't mind letting Viktor work with Yuri for a while. There were plenty of areas Yuuri could work on by himself. Or even with the help of Minako.

Viktor clapped his hands together and he was once again beamed his contagious, heart shaped smile, "Think about what you aren't able to do and we'll work on it tomorrow. Yurachka, you're up."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Neuzheli on deystvitel'no takoi vazhnij? – Is he really that important?
> 
> Da – Yes.
> 
> Chto ty dumajesh ty mozhesh poluchit' ot svin'i, chevo ty ne mozhesh poluchit' v Rossii? - What do you think you can get from a pig that you cannot get in Russia?
> 
> Ya ne znayu, no ya ne mogu dozhdat'sya uznat'. – I don't know, but I can't wait to find out.
> 
> Ostav' menya iz rituala sparivaniya. - Leave me out of the mating ritual.


	5. Chapter 5

"The Regional Championships are only a few months away." Yuuri mumbled softly as though he was only just now realising the gravity of the situation. This was all really happening. Viktor was really there, and he was really going to try to get to the Grand Prix Final. Again. It wasn't the most comforting of thoughts. He couldn't help but imagine making a fool of himself all over again. Everyone had seen him make a complete mess of his last program and it was terrifying to think that he could do that all over again. Except this time, he'd be letting down Viktor, too.

"Nervous?" Viktor's soft voice spoke beside him and Yuuri glanced over at the man sitting beside his bed.

"I think you've known me long enough by now to have figured out that I'm always nervous." The simple statement brought a chuckle from Viktor and Yuuri couldn't help but smile. It was getting easier to talk to Viktor now. At first, he was always tongue tied, afraid of saying the wrong things, afraid of coming across as some excitable fan (which he technically was). Now, though… now it was like talking to an old friend. Sure, there were still times when Viktor would get him flustered. The Russian still didn't understand the concept of personal space, but Yuuri was getting used to it. The moments when he was caught off guard were becoming enjoyable. Viktor never ceased to surprise him.

"You don't have to do this, you know?" Viktor was tapping his finger gently on the mattress, "I know we have a deal, but it doesn't mean anything if it's not something you want. I couldn't possibly expect you to skate to your full potential if you don't want it."

"I do want it." Yuuri didn't hesitate, "At first, maybe I was scared. But I've always wanted to belong on the ice. I always wanted to prove myself. It might just be a deal, but it's a reason to keep fighting. Besides, I don't think Yuri would be happy if I gave up before he had a chance to beat me."

"You don't mind him being here, right?"

Viktor seemed genuinely concerned, like the young boy's appearance might have ruined everything. Maybe it would have a long time ago. Maybe Yuuri would've gotten scared and given up before he even tried, but things were different now. He was still definitely intimidated by Yuri Plisetsky, but when he weighed the options, the answer was simple, "It's better than you going back to Russia."

At the admission, Viktor shifted beside him until he was on his knees, his arms resting on the mattress beside Yuuri as he leaned over him. That smirk was going to be the death of him, Yuuri was sure, "Anyone would think you like having me around."

"You're the reason I started skating." Yuuri replied simply, looking up at the light haired Russian staring back at him. How could anyone not be happy to have their idol around, to hear their idol complimenting them, and assuring them that they had the potential to go far? It was like a dream having Viktor in his life, the thought of losing that was one he tried to avoid at all costs. He knew this couldn't last forever, but a guy could dream, right?

Yuuri didn't miss the way Viktor's expression seemed to shift for a moment before it was back to his usual smile. He'd said something wrong. Yuuri knew he had, but he wasn't sure how to fix it. That fear crept into his mind again, but it wasn't the same fear as it was when Viktor first arrived. He wasn't scared of letting Viktor Nikiforov down. He was scared of letting down _Viktor_ , the person who had pushed him and encouraged him to never give up. "I kind of hoped it was more than just you wanting your idol here." Viktor's eyes left the gaze of Yuuri's as he spoke. He was still smiling, but it didn't feel as real as all the other smiles they'd shared.

Without thinking, Yuuri was reaching out to brush a hand against Viktor's. This wasn't something he'd normally do. Affection of any kind wasn't really something he was used to before Viktor came into his life, but he knew that the Russian was a touchy person. He liked being held, or moving close, or brushing a hand against skin. If something as simple as that would reassure Viktor, that's what Yuuri would do. It was made a lot easier in moments like these, when there was no one there to judge him for it. "It is. My head isn't the best place, but you always get me out of it. Having you here makes me happy." He didn't say any of the other things he wanted to say. That Viktor always made him laugh. That he found it kind of adorable whenever he got excited about something he'd never seen before. That looking into his eyes was becoming one of his favorite past times. Those were just the ramblings of a fan. They weren't things Viktor wanted to hear right now.

Viktor didn't look away from Yuuri as he spoke, his smile slowly becoming more genuine. Yuuri always felt so much better when Viktor's smiles were real. He hated that Viktor even felt the need to pretend. It was obviously something he's learned to adapt from years in the spotlight, but it was easy to tell that Viktor wasn't really happy when he smiled like that. Yuuri didn't even realise it at first, but Viktor had moved his hand to take his own. Once again, Yuuri found himself grateful that there was no one else there to see the blush rising on his cheeks at the gentle touch, "I'm glad. I like it here. Hasetsu is an interesting town."

"A lot more interesting with you running around, trying to see all the sights." Yuuri chuckled softly, "Everyone in the town's already gotten used to having you around."

Viktor hummed happily at that, and Yuuri couldn't help but be a little happy to have caused him to make that sound. All he really wanted was for Viktor to enjoy his time there. The longer he was happy, the longer he'd stay, right? A comfortable silence fell between them. Yuuri's eyes moved from Viktor's, to their hands, and back again. It was an intimate moment, he knew. He should've been embarrassed, and maybe if he wasn't so tired after another long day of training, he would've been.

The silence was finally broken when Viktor sighed softly, pulling Yuuri's hand to his lips and gently kissing his fingers. It wasn't something he'd ever done before. No matter how many times Viktor had moved into his personal space, he'd never done this. Yuuri couldn't look away from him, unsure of what he was supposed to say in a moment like this, but thankfully Viktor took that problem away, speaking against his fingers, "You should get some sleep. We have another long day tomorrow. I want to see you land that quad salchow."

Just as quickly as the moment had started, Viktor was letting go of his hand, getting to his feet, and heading for the door. Yuuri already missed that warm, welcoming presence beside him, but he knew it would only be strange to ask Viktor to stay a little while longer. Still, so many questions were running through his head, and before he could stop himself, he was asking the one that had been driving him crazy, "Viktor? Why are you so sure that I can perfect this program?"

"Because, Yuuri. I made it for you."

"Wait, what?" Yuuri was turning to ask more questions, but Viktor had already left. But it didn't matter. Yuuri couldn't possibly forget that. He had to understand what Viktor meant.

* * *

 

Fingers danced around his body as he danced over the field of ice, the step sequence feeling like just another extension of himself. His eyes stayed closed as he focused on the music, the flamenco style thrumming through his veins as he tried to maintain his momentum, sticking to the sequence Viktor had taught him. Steps were what he was good at. Steps came naturally to him. It wasn't that he made up the steps as he went along, but even with the steps laid out in front of him, the sound of the music pushed him through, almost urging him to take each step, telling him exactly what came next without him really needing to think much of it.

As the step sequence came to an end, Yuuri couldn't help but feel a little sad. They were his strong point. Step sequences were where he was able to truly shine. He was on the home stretch, though. Now he just needed to land these jumps, to finish this routine. He had to do it. He'd make Viktor proud. Didn't Viktor say he made this program for him? Yuuri still didn't understand what he meant by that. He wasn't sure how to ask, but it wasn't important. If this was made for him, then no one could perform it like he could. He'd prove that. Moving into a spread eagle, Yuuri landed the triple axel without any issues. After so many years of training, triple axels weren't particularly difficult, especially when he was relaxed. But now he was up to the jump he had never successfully landed.

Yuuri moved along the ice, trying to gain the proper momentum to pull off the next jump. Through it all, the music was dancing through him, keeping him grounded, reminding him that this was his program, that is anyone could do this, it had to be him. He had to prove himself to Viktor, he had to show him that he wasn't putting his faith in him for nothing. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri moved into the jump, trying to clear his head as best he could. Just as quickly as it started, he was landing back on the ice. It wasn't a clean jump. He had over rotated, but he was still on his feet. He was still moving along the ice, recovering from the unsteady landing, and Yuuri had to remind himself to not lose focus. He may have finally landed the quad salchow, but the routine wasn't over yet.

The final jumps weren't particularly difficult for him usually, though when they were in combination, it made things a little trickier. Still, Yuuri was elated. He had finally landed the jump he'd been trying to land for weeks. With that excitement, that pure happiness running through his veins, the quad toe-triple toe combination felt almost as natural as the music surrounding him. He did it. He landed all the jumps. Yuuri had to keep reminding himself that that didn't mean the routine was over, moving back into place, finishing the theatrics of the routine and placing himself in the centre of the ice, his arms wrapped around himself in the same way Viktor had shown him so many times before.

The music in the room faded, and he was left in silence. The only sound he could hear was that of his heavy breathing, trying to catch his breath from the routine. It wasn't easy, but then he doubted anything Viktor did could be described as easy. It wouldn't be nearly as satisfying if it was. A moment passed, and Yuuri could hear something other than his heavy breaths filling the silence. The sound of skates gliding over the ice, getting closer and closer. Yuuri finally opened his eyes just in time to see Viktor ploughing into him, his arms wrapping protectively around him as he landed on the ice. He should've expected it, but he really didn't. Viktor had a hand gently pressed to the back of his head, preventing him from hitting the ice too hard, and all Yuuri could do was stare wide eyed up at the man now laying over him on the ice. Yuuri wasn't sure he'd ever seen Viktor's smile so big before.

"You did it! You did it, Yuuri!"

And suddenly, it was all clicking in his head. He had landed the quad salchow. It was by no means a perfect jump. It was over rotated, the landing was sloppy, but he stayed upright. He didn't touch the ice. He kept moving. "I… I did. I did it." Yuuri's voice was barely a whisper, trying to reassure himself that it really happened, that he had completed the routine at least once, that he could do this again, that he could live up to the routine Viktor had apparently made for him.

Viktor was moving a hand to brush the strands of hair that had fallen into Yuuri's eyes during the routine away, smiling down at him, "I'm so proud of you."

A silence fell between them, and if it were possible, Yuuri was sure time had stood still. It felt like they were there for hours, days, but he didn't care. There was nothing he didn't like about the feeling. Viktor was so close, his eyes filled with nothing but pure adoration. No one had ever looked at Yuuri like that. He felt a fluttering in his stomach, sure his heart was pounding and with Viktor this close, there was no doubt that he could feel it. Yuuri was still a little out of breath from the routine, the only sound left in the room was their soft breath mingling together. It felt like they were living in their own little world. If Yuuri was willing to indulge himself, he'd like to believe he felt Viktor moving closer, their noses brushing together. Yuuri's eyes fluttered closed at the contact. Was this real? Was he dreaming? Or imagining things?

"Oi! Stop it before I skate over the pair of you!" Yuri's voice broke through his trance, and Yuuri's eyes flew open. Viktor hadn't pulled away, but he hadn't moved any closer, either. Their eyes met for a moment before Viktor was reluctantly getting to his feet, reaching a hand out for Yuuri.

Yuuri was glad he could blame his blush on the routine as he took Viktor's hand. He had so many questions. What was Viktor going to do? Was he going to do anything? Was he just imagining him getting closer? Why did he want Viktor to move closer? Why did just the thought of it make his stomach flutter all over again? Was this what all those fans who drooled over him felt like? He liked to think he was better than that. He looked up to Viktor for his talents, not his looks, but here he was. So close to Viktor and feeling his heart pounding. When Viktor helped him to his feet, he pulled Yuuri so close he practically stumbled into him, causing the younger man to rest his free hand against his chest, and Yuuri was sure Viktor did that on purpose.

"Uh thanks…" Yuuri mumbled, looking away. He hadn't felt this shy around Viktor since the first day he'd arrived in Hasetsu.

"Go take a break, you've earned it."

Before Yuuri knew it, he was at the edge of the rink being handed a bottle of water from Yuri. It was strange. Yuri had been there with them for a while now, and while he still maintained his grumpy teenager attitude, he seemed to at least be warming up to him. Yuuri would never mention it, though, lest he get his head bitten off by the Ice Tiger of Russia. Yuuri watched as the blond pulled off his skate guards and spoke without thinking, "Uh… Hey, Yuri?"

"What?" The usual tinge of annoyance in his voice was there, but Yuuri had learned to tell when it was real frustration. This wasn't one of those times.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did. Quit wasting my time, piggy."

Yuuri couldn't help but smile at that as Yuri got to his feet and stood beside him on the ice, "Do you know how long ago Viktor created my program?"

"Eros?" Yuri seemed to really think about the question. It was strange to see him caring enough about something like this. Yuri usually only cared about things that would benefit himself. Maybe they were getting closer than he thought, "The first time he performed it back in Russia was seven… maybe eight months ago. So, he must've made it before then. Why?"

Yuuri sighed softly, thinking about it. That didn't really tell him anything. Somehow, he hoped the question would give him some answers about what Viktor had told him. How could he have made this routine for him? Yuuri wasn't in Viktor's life seven or eight months ago. He was back in Detroit, finishing college. Yuuri shook his head, smiling reassuringly, "Just something Viktor said, it doesn't matter."

"He told you he made it for you, da?" Yuri didn't seem remotely phased. It seemed more like a statement than a question.

"Wh-What? How do you know that?"

"You're an idiot." Yuri scoffed, "Think about it. If he performed it seven or eight months ago, he had to have had time to make the program and learn it. When you think about it that way, it lines up around the time of the banquet when you made a fool of yourself."

Yuuri was drinking from the water bottle as he was listening, his breath hitching at the mention of the banquet. Coughing up the water that had made its way into his lungs as Yuri mentioned the second most humiliating moment of his life, he was filled with so many more questions. Was Yuri there? Of course he was, why wouldn't he be. Oh god, he'd seen it all as well. Yuuri's voice was raspy when he finally spoke up, "Y-You saw that?"

"I saw it? You dragged me into a dance off. We don't talk about the banquet."

"Agreed." That was probably the nicest thing Yuri had ever said to him. If he could just forget that night ever happened, he'd be happy. The only good thing that came of it was Viktor being there. All the humiliation was something he never wanted to think about.

"Good. Now get out of my way, piggy." Yuri's voice was filled with it's usual determination, though he caught the older man off guard with the rough pat to his back. Was Yuri trying to make him feel better?

* * *

 

Viktor and Yuuri had been spending the last few days listening to the music for the free skate program, and though they had created a routine, it didn't feel right. There was something missing and neither of them could figure out what it was. They'd been staring at the paper with the jumps written down for what seemed like an eternity, though Yuuri was having trouble actually thinking about it when they had to be pressed so close together to both look at the page.

"You've been staring at that paper for ten minutes now, what's the big deal?" Yuri broke through their concentration, his words muffled by the rice in his mouth. They probably would've told him that he looked like a hamster with his cheeks filled with food, but that wouldn't be good for their health.

"It's just… missing something." Viktor sounded frustrated. It was like Viktor thought he was letting Yuuri down by not having the program figured out, but how could he possibly let him down? Viktor was going out of his way to help him all this time. There was no reason for it. Hell, Viktor would benefit from not helping him, he'd no doubt win their little deal.

Before they could do anything about it, Yuri was snatching the paper from Viktor's hands. Yuuri wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it. Technically, Yuri was a rival, he was competing against him, and maybe it wasn't such a good idea for him to be able to see the program they were creating. Then again, it definitely wasn't a completed program. Green eyes glared at the piece of paper, scrutinising every jump that had been written down. If it were at all possible, Yuuri was sure that look could set the paper alight.

After a long moment of silence, Yuri slammed the piece of paper down on the table, "Here." He pointed to the first jump of the second half, "Add a triple axel to this combination."

"But… that's a triple combination." Yuuri spoke softly, unsure of himself. It wasn't that he wasn't able to perform a triple combination, but this was the second half of the routine.

"And?"

"In the second half of the routine, it's hard enough to do double combinations…"

"Exactly. It'll increase your difficulty. Besides, it's the very start of the second half, you have the stamina for that, and it'll help with the flow."

Yuri wasn't exactly wrong. He did have the stamina for that, and an increase in difficulty would only help his chances of winning gold. The flow was the main issue, too. It felt like there was something missing from the routine, that there was this gap that made the entire second half feel stunted. But Yuuri wasn't so sure this was something he could pull off.

"It's a great idea, Yurachka. I don't know how I didn't see it." Viktor took the paper, making the adjustments and handing it to Yuuri, "We can test it out tomorrow."

"But…" There were so many thoughts running through his head, so many reasons this couldn't possibly work, and he couldn't possibly do this. He wanted to tell them that he didn't have the kind of talent to pull off a triple combination like that, not on top of all the other difficult jumps that were in this routine.

Just as he was working up the courage to say something, Yuri cut him off, his usual smug smile gracing his lips as he did, "If you want to have a chance against me, you have to take some risks."


	6. Chapter 6

The Southern Regional Championships. Yuuri's return to the ice. It was a daunting prospect, but one he couldn't avoid. He knew he had to take that first step onto the ice, especially if it meant qualifying for the Grand Prix Circuit. He made a deal, he was going to follow through with this, no matter how difficult it might be. Luckily, they didn't have to travel too far to make it to the championship. It wasn't like it would be for the Grand Prix, he wasn't going to get there and feel absolutely exhausted from the travel. Still, Viktor had insisted they make their way there early to ensure he was in the best possible shape for this competition. It meant a lot. He couldn't fail here. This was just the beginning. To falter right from the start meant that he would never get his second chance to prove himself.

Yuri had taken the opportunity to head back to Russia, saying he needed Yakov's help to work on his free program now that he'd figured out what he was missing for his short. It had been a strange experience; saying goodbye to Yuri. He wasn't exactly the emotional type and maintained the act of indifference right until the last moments. The last words he left Yuuri with were a reminder. If he didn't make it to the Grand Prix Finals, the Russian punk would come straight back to Japan and knock some sense into him. Yuuri didn't just have to do this for Viktor anymore. It was strange, but reassuring. There were people who believed he could do this and no matter how insecure he was, he had to put his faith in them.

Yuuri was very much uncertain of just how things were going to turn out this time. He hadn't bothered to compete in the championships last year since his skating career had come to an end. Or so he'd thought. As he entered the venue, he did notice a few familiar faces, though he couldn't quite place how he knew them. It had been a while, and these weren't quite celebrity status skaters. Not yet. Yuuri had no doubt that they had the talent for it, though. There was a particular person who stood out. Not because they were showing any amazing talents, simply because they were bounding excitedly towards Yuuri, squealing as they went. Yuuri stopped in his tracks, unsure of what to do. It was then that he realised Viktor was standing next to him. Of course there were going to be people getting overly excited at the Russian's appearance.

"Yuuri Katsuki!" The boy screamed, jumping up and down in front of him, his hands covering his mouth as though this might help him hide the excitement. It wasn't working.

"Um… yes?" Yuuri looked between the boy and Viktor for a moment, confused. He was sure the boy would be bounding to Viktor, not him. Why would anyone be excited to meet him, especially after the Sochi incident?

The acknowledgement only seemed to spur the boy in front of him on, causing him to begin a swift speech that Yuuri could barely make out as the boy made brief ballet stances, only further telling him that this boy had to be a skater. Yuuri felt like he knew him, but he wasn't sure how. Tilting his head, he took in the boy's short stature, ash blond hair with a tuft of red bangs. He had bright, animated eyes as he rambled on. Yuuri only caught a few words. 'Program,' 'master,' and something about how excited he was to see Yuuri drawing his spot.

"I um… I'm sorry, what was your name?" Yuuri smiled sheepishly, genuinely feeling bad when he saw the boy's dejected look.

"You don't remember me?" He spoke softly now, and Yuuri really wished he could say he did, because seeing this boy look so sad broke his heart. He glanced over at Viktor, wishing he could give him an answer, but knowing that one wasn't going to come.

"You look familiar, but I can't really remember. I'm sorry." He looked around the room, trying to find a way to make this better, when he realised there was one thing that might help, "I'm sure I'd remember if I saw you skating."

At the mention of the ice, the boy perked back up, grabbing Yuuri's arms and speaking quickly again, "You'll watch my routine, right!? I even have a special costume like yours from your Lohengrin program!"

"You… you do?" Yuuri was genuinely surprised. After Viktor had offered for Yuuri to wear one of his old costumes for the short program, he had been on cloud nine. Is that how this boy felt about him? Was there really someone who looked up to him like that? It didn't make any sense. Yuuri had made so many mistakes, his skating career hadn't exactly been filled with inspiring moments, so why would this kid be so motivated by him?

The boy was nodding and jumping up and down in excitement again, and Yuuri wasn't really sure what he was meant to do anymore. Glancing over, he saw the amused look on Viktor's face, and sighed softly, knowing he wasn't going to be any help, "So um. What was your name? I won't forget this time, I promise."

"Kenjirou Minami! Don't worry, my skating will make sure you remember!" Confident. It almost reminded him of Yuri, only without the poisonous bite to his words. Instead, this boy – Minami – was all excitement and bubbly energy. It was an interesting change of pace, but he didn't exactly hate it.

Yuuri offered him a small smile as he and Viktor started heading further into the venue, waving over his shoulder as he called back to him, "I can't wait to see it!"

* * *

 

The silent prayer to not go first hadn't been answered as Yuuri drew his placement. He would be the first to skate. The only thing worse than skating first was skating last. Though, he wasn't sure if he'd prefer that If he was honest. It would be good to get his skate out of the way before he got intimidated by everyone else, but he hated the idea of being the one to set the bar. Besides, wasn't the first performance usually the one that got forgotten? Then again, if it ended up being as much of a disaster as the last time he performed, that might not be a bad thing.

As he made his way back to the changing rooms to grab his skates and prepare for the practice, he noticed Viktor surrounded by press. Yuuri hadn't exactly expected to see press at the championships, but he wasn't surprised, either. Viktor was here, and that was enough. Somehow, they must've caught wind of this. Yuuri himself wasn't very good with the press and knowing how Viktor loved to bring him into the spotlight, he made a quick dash for the changing room before he could be caught.

Viktor on the other hand, was enjoying the attention. It had been a long time since he was in the eyes of the press, having hung up his skates over a year ago now. It wasn't that he was a vain person per se, he just enjoyed the buzz of energy that came with the press. Of course, there came a point when it was too much, but he had dealt with crowds much larger than this one before. Questions were fired from every direction. Why was he there, had he considered coming back to figure skating, what was he spending his time doing now that he'd retired? The questions kept coming until he finally decided enough was enough. Yuuri was a nervous performer. He didn't want to leave him alone for too long in case that came back to haunt him. Peeling himself away from the press, Viktor quickly made his way to the changing room, just in time to catch Yuuri as he was leaving.

"Oh. Hey." Yuuri glanced over Viktor's shoulder, spotting the sea of press still chattering in the hallway. He quickly grabbed Viktor's arm and tugged him towards the rink. This wasn't something he needed. Not right now. They only had a little bit of time before he had to perform, and he couldn't let the press make him nervous. Viktor raised an eyebrow but stayed quiet as he followed Yuuri. He didn't want to question him. Not right now, when he clearly needed people to have as much faith in him as possible. Yuuri could do this. Viktor had watched him in enough training sessions to know he had the potential to get so much further than this championship. This was nothing more than a formality. Yuuri would prove himself here and make his way to the Grand Prix Finals. Viktor had never been so sure of anything in his life.

As Yuuri made his way onto the ice, he quickly skated over to Viktor on the other side of the barrier, offering him a small smile. He was already nervous. How could he not be? The last time he was in a room of people, skating, he had made a fool of himself. Those thoughts just kept creeping back, telling him that he couldn't possibly do this, that he was going to make a fool of himself and disappoint Viktor. It was as though the Russian could read his mind as he reached out and took Yuuri's hand, causing a startled noise as he pulled him closer. Viktor chuckled softly, leaning closer and brushing a gentle kiss against Yuuri's knuckles. The blush crept up Yuuri's body at the gentle contact. He didn't know how Viktor always did that, or how he made something that felt so intimate seem so natural.

A moment of silence sat between them, their eyes locked together before Viktor finally spoke softly into Yuuri's fingers, "Don't rush yourself. You know you can do this, Yuuri. I have faith in you."

Yuuri wished it could be like in those stories; the handsome man's soothing words making all the anxiety fade away, but it wasn't. Yuuri was still scared. He just felt a little warmer, a slight flutter in his chest. The one thing it did, though, was help him feel like he wasn't so alone. Yuuri smiled reassuringly, gently squeezing Viktor's hand before reluctantly letting go and making his way out to the ice. He hadn't expected to feel quite so cold once he was away from Viktor, but he chalked it up to being on the rink now.

The practice was to prepare the skaters to perform their routines, and though most skaters used it as a last-minute chance to practice their programs, that wasn't what Yuuri wanted to use it for. Not this time. Instead, Yuuri began his usual routine of gentle movements on the ice, trying to keep himself calm, to tell himself that he had nothing to be nervous about. It was a gentle movement that had calmed him all his life, and today wouldn't be an exception.

"Minami, focus!" He heard from the sidelines, and a moment later the familiar voice of the excited boy was responding, not too far from him. He must've arrived on the ice without Yuuri realising it.

"But look, Kanako! Look how graceful he is! Every move so beautiful!" The boy swooned before his coach was reminding him that this was his last chance to practice and he needed to make the most of it.

Yuuri couldn't help but smile as he listened to it. Was this how Viktor felt, having a fan? Was that really what Minami was? It still felt unreal to think he could possibly have a fan, but it just made him want to try even harder. Not just for himself or Viktor, but for his fan, too. Maybe that's how Viktor had managed to get so far; wanting to impress the people who looked up to him.

The practice skate was over far too quickly for Yuuri's liking. He knew that it wouldn't be long now before it was his time on the ice. Once again, he found himself silently wishing he could've drawn anything but one. Why did he have to skate first of all things? Making his way off the ice, he still had some time before his turn. He had to change into his outfit, and soon. Though his gentle skate on the ice had helped with the nerves, they were coming back in full force. How could they not be? He had more time to think about things before he went back out onto the ice, and that was never a good thing for Yuuri Katsuki.

* * *

 

"Yuuri!" There was a faint urgency to Viktor's voice, which startled him, but had the desired effect of stopping the younger man before he reached the ice. He didn't have long now. The other skaters were leaving the ice for their practice. It was his time. Still, Yuuri couldn't possibly deny Viktor when he asked for his attention.

Yuuri looked up at the Russian in front of him, seeing the pure adoration in those eyes, and if it were possible, Yuuri would've melted right then and there. He still didn't understand this feeling he got when he was around Viktor. Yuuri had always been a fan. Viktor was incredible, skating perfection. But over the last few months, having Viktor close, learning about who he was beyond the ice… Yuuri didn't understand it. He didn't know what the feeling was. He only knew that he didn't want to lose it, not for anything. He couldn't fail now, it meant Viktor returning to Russia and possibly never seeing him again.

Viktor moved forward, closing the gap between them and hugging Yuuri as close as he could. It took him by surprise, though it really shouldn't have. Once again, Viktor was acting on impulse, was surprising him. It took a moment before the shock wore off and Yuuri's arms wound around him, letting himself relax into the embrace. Viktor was so warm and comforting. It was a feeling he really couldn't begin to describe, and he didn't want to. There were words that could do it justice. Without thinking, Yuuri rested his head in the crook of Viktor's neck, taking a deep breath and sighing softly. Everything about this man was soothing. He could feel the nerves melt away, if only for a moment. Because in that moment, they were the only ones there.

As if reading his mind, Viktor spoke softly into Yuuri's ear, sending a shiver down his spine, "Focus on me. You aren't skating for anyone else. Just me. No one else matters, okay?"

Yuuri nodded instinctively, taking a shaky breath as he reluctantly pulled away, looking into Viktor's eyes once more, "Don't take your eyes off me. Please." It was an odd request. Normally, Yuuri would've loved nothing more than to have no one watching him, but somehow, those eyes… they were calming. Something told him that if Viktor was watching, everything was going to be okay.

Viktor simply nodded, smiling reassuringly as Yuuri finally made his way onto the ice. There was no holding back now. This was it. This was his time. He had to do this, he had to prove to Viktor that this wasn't all a waste of time. The nerves were bubbling up inside of him again, but he was trying hard not to think about it, to focus on Viktor's words. He was skating for Viktor. No matter what happened, this performance was for him. As the music began to play, Yuuri began to move as he had every time they'd practiced the routine. The first half was simple enough. Step sequences were second nature to him, he didn't need to think too much about it. Instead, his mind was focused on Viktor, on thinking about what he might think of his performance, on that smile he'd display when Yuuri had done something he liked. Yuuri was determined to bring out that smile in Viktor again.

The first half of the program was over far too quickly for Yuuri's liking, and he was already taking his spread-eagle stance in preparation for the first jump. Still, he kept reminding himself that he could do this, that Viktor was watching, and he had to impress him. It was over in seconds, but landing the triple axel lifted some weight from his shoulders. He'd nailed the first jump. Just two to go. The only problem was that the next one was the one he'd been struggling with. Though he had finally landed a quad salchow in practice, it was still very rusty, and this was going to be his first attempt during a competition. It was a lot to think about, a lot to worry about. Still, he couldn't keep worrying, there was no time for that now. He had to impress Viktor. He was doing all of this for him, wasn't he? Viktor had seen him land this jump before, he could land it for him again.

Yuuri took a deep breath as he finally worked up the courage to take the leap. He had to do this. For Viktor, for Yuri, for Minami, for himself. Still, with those thoughts spinning through his head, the jump wasn't clean. Yuuri had again over rotated, his hand touching the ice to keep himself upright. It wasn't anywhere near a perfect jump, though Yuuri had never managed to land that jump perfectly, anyway. Still, it was disappointing, and it brought back those nerves, that fear. He had to keep reminding himself that he had managed to stay on his feet, that he was still moving, and he couldn't give up. Viktor was watching. He was going to be okay. He had to be okay.

The final jump; a quad toe-triple toe combination. Yuuri had landed it before. Plenty of times, in fact. Still, he wasn't completely calm, his nerves getting the better of him after his stumble. Yuuri just wanted this to be over. He wanted Viktor to tell him he did great. Nothing but how Viktor felt really mattered to him. If everyone else in the room hated his program, it'd be fine. Just as long as Viktor liked it. With nerves flooding his system, Yuuri attempted his jumps, managing to land a quad toe-double toe combination instead of what had previously been planned. He couldn't afford to lament on his second mistake of the performance, though. His jumps were over. All he could do now was finish the program and hope that he'd done enough. With the usual theatrics of the performance over, the music came to an end, and Yuuri was left in the center of the ice, trying to catch his breath. The nerves were bubbling up inside him and he really didn't know how he'd managed to do what he had, but he wasn't so sure it was a performance Viktor could be proud of.

The room filled with applause. That was the first sound that caught his attention and broke him from his daze. The second was a familiar voice screaming above the applause with enthusiasm, "That was amazing, Yuuri!"

It was nice to have a fan, Yuuri had thought at that moment.

Making his way off the ice, it was hard to read the expression on Viktor's face. He could've been thinking anything, and it was truly terrifying. He hoped he'd made Viktor proud, but he wasn't smiling. Maybe he'd made too many mistakes. He could understand Viktor not necessarily being proud of him after that performance. He'd have to try harder. Yuuri didn't say anything as he made his way off the ice, afraid to make eye contact with Viktor after seeing the lack of expression on his face. A moment later, they were calling out the results of the program.

_"Yuuri Katsuki; Short program score: 94.36. He is currently in first place."_

The latter part of the announcement wasn't all that encouraging, given that he was the only one who had performed so far. Still, that was the best score he'd gotten for a short program. He couldn't help but smile just a little at the thought, though he was still too scared to look at Viktor.

Before long, the other skaters were taking the ice, and eventually he caught sight of the ashy blond who had been jumping with excitement earlier that day. It was…shocking to say the least. Minami hadn't been kidding when he said he had a costume like one from his past. That wasn't just inspired by Yuuri's Lohengrin costume. That was a perfect replica. It was almost frightening to see it again, to think of all the mistakes of his past. Still, Minami wore it confidently.

The music began and again, it was a familiar sound. Yuuri promised he'd watch and he was determined to do just that, keeping his eyes focused on the energetic boy on the ice. It didn't take long before he was attempting a triple axel, landing it with precision. He couldn't help but smile. Minami's was infectious. He wasn't just trying his best on the ice. He was enjoying every second of it. Unfortunately, Yuuri didn't get to enjoy the performance for long, looking up as he heard the tell-tale hum of reporters heading in his direction. After the mistakes he'd made in his program, the nerves filling his stomach, and the lack of communication from Viktor, he knew there was no way he could handle the press right now.

Without thinking, Yuuri was rushing in the other direction, ignoring the sounds as Viktor called after him. He'd deal with it later. He didn't want to think about whatever must've been on Viktor's mind. He hadn't performed well. He was sure he hadn't. He didn't want to hear Viktor's disappointment, he had enough of that all on his own. Before he knew it, he was heading out the back door and into the chilly night air. It was night already? Yuuri didn't realise they'd been there for so long.

Still, he knew he couldn't leave. Viktor had the key to their hotel. He silently wished he'd taken up the offer to get a second key, but he really had thought they would be sticking together. Yuuri sighed, leaning against the nearby wall and sliding to the ground, his knees pressed to his chest. There were just so many things that could go wrong. Sure, he got a good score. A great score, in fact. His best. But he'd still made mistakes, and they were the kinds of mistakes that would cost him dearly if they were made during the Grand Prix Circuit. This wasn't just about him. This was about Viktor. Viktor's career was on the line. Why had Viktor put his career on the line for him? Why did he put so much faith in him? Was it that Viktor didn't believe he could do it? Did Viktor just not want to return to the ice, so he chose the person with the least talent to make a bet with? That had to be it. Yuuri sighed sadly, resting his head in his knees and hugging them to his chest. So much for a welcome return to the ice.

It was only a few moments before the door opened once more, but he didn't bother looking up. He knew exactly who it was. There was only one person it could be, and Yuuri didn't want to talk. He didn't want to think about those stumbles. It was just another reminder that whenever he got on the ice, he made mistakes. He could never be as talented as Viktor Nikiforov. "Yuuri? What's wrong? What are you doing out here?"

Yuuri didn't bother looking up. He didn't want Viktor seeing him like this, but it was too late. Instead, he mumbled into his knees, "I let you down…"

"What?" Viktor was kneeling beside him now, head tilted to the side as he watched the man in front of him, his voice soft, "Why would you think that?"

Yuuri reluctantly lifted his head just enough to look up at Viktor, tears still in his eyes, "You… you didn't say anything… and you didn't seem happy… and I messed up two of my jumps…"

"You didn't disappoint me, Yuuri." Viktor sighed softly, leaning closer and gently brushing a thumb against Yuuri's cheek to wipe the tears away. His touch was so warm and welcoming. Why was everything about Viktor so comforting? Even in moments like these, he couldn't avoid that pull in his chest, begging him to move closer so that they could be together. Why did he feel like this whenever Viktor was around? It didn't make any sense. It made his head feel so fuzzy and the fear melt away, but new fears took their place, because what was this? What was he feeling? Why was he feeling it? He couldn't understand it. "I was just worried about you."

Yuuri lifted his head a bit more, surprised. Of all the things Viktor could've said, that wasn't what he was expecting. He sniffled, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. The entire situation made him feel like a kid. This wasn't the greatest way for Viktor to see him. There wasn't much he could do about it now, though, "Why?"

Viktor gave Yuuri one of his reassuring, heart stopping, breathtaking smiles, reaching to brush some dark hair from the younger man's eyes, "You were so nervous. I could tell. You were so worried about making the jumps, it was clouding your mind. You flub your jumps when you have something on your mind. So, I was worried."

"I was thinking about making you smile…" Yuuri admitted, hiding his face in his knees once more. It was embarrassing, and he really didn't want to see the look in Viktor's eyes when he heard the admission. He continued to mumble into his knees, his voice muffled, "But you weren't smiling…"

A silence fell between them. Yuuri really wished he could tell what Viktor was thinking. He was just so hard to read. Viktor had had years in the spotlight. No doubt, that had helped him build up a mask that made it difficult to read exactly how he was feeling, but Yuuri wished he could see passed it. There were times when it seemed like all of Viktor's walls were down around him, but there were other times when he just couldn't figure out what he was thinking. It was frustrating. Then again, Yuuri wasn't exactly an open book. Maybe Viktor found him frustrating, too.

"Come on, I'm taking you to dinner."

"What?" Yuuri looked back up at Viktor, surprised. He wasn't kneeling beside him anymore, instead on his feet and offering Yuuri his hand. Yuuri wasn't sure what to do or why this was happening. Just a moment ago, he was sure Viktor had been disappointed in him. How could he not be? That performance was nothing compared to Viktor's performances. They couldn't compare, yet Viktor was expecting him to reach gold. Hesitantly, Yuuri reached out and took Viktor's hand, "Why…?"

Viktor smiled brightly as he tugged Yuuri to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist as their chests bumped together. They were so close, but neither of them could find it in themselves to move, just staying in each other's arms. Their breath mingled together, and though Viktor had every intention of answering Yuuri's question, he couldn't help but noticed the star stuck look in Yuuri's eyes. He hadn't looked at him like that in months. Tilting his head to the side, he watched Yuuri curiously, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Without thinking, Yuuri was reaching a hand up to brush the silvery locks from Viktor's face. It was an action Viktor had done plenty of times, but never Yuuri. As they watched each other, he spoke under his breath, just loud enough for Viktor to hear, "You have really pretty eyes…" And just as quickly as the words left his mouth, Yuuri realised what he was saying, quickly pulling away as his face flushed red. He looked anywhere but at Viktor as he stammered, "I uh… I mean… I didn't, it's just uh…Y-You don't see many blue e-eyes in Hasetsu. Yeah, that's what I meant…" He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Viktor chuckled softly, resting a hand under Yuuri's chin and lifting his head to look into his eyes, "U tebya tozhe krasivyye glaza." He had no idea what Viktor had said, but it was said so gently and sincerely, he hoped it was something nice. Sometimes Viktor spoke Russian just to save Yuuri from all his blushing, knowing that the compliments he wanted to give might be a little too much for him to handle. This was one of those times. Clearing his throat, Viktor reached down to grab Yuuri's hand, "We need to celebrate. That was your best short program score, right? So, I'm treating you to dinner."

Yuuri smiled, reluctantly letting go of his hand, "Fine, but I can't go like this." He gestured to the skate costume he was still wearing, "Give me a minute to change, okay?"

* * *

 

Yuuri had changed back into a regular black shirt and dark tracksuit pants. He had tugged back on his Japan jacket and swapped his contacts for his familiar blue-framed glasses. After running his fingers through his hair and doing his best to ruffle it back to it's usual messy mop, he figured he was as much like his usual self as he could possibly be. With his duffel bag over his shoulder, he was heading back out to meet up with Viktor when he felt the tug on his bag.

"Did you see, did you see!?" The excitable boy from earlier was eagerly awaiting his idol's approval, something Yuuri was sure he would absolutely never get used to. This was strange. How did Viktor do this?

"I didn't get to see all of your program." He smiled apologetically. His nerves got the best of him and prevented him from watching all of Minami's skate. It was truly something to regret. He'd wanted to watch it. Still, at least he'd got to see some of it, "I did see your triple axel, though. You had wonderful form."

Minami practically screeched with excitement at the compliment, dancing around in circles on the spot as he spouted about how excited he'd been to have pulled off the triple axel and how much he had hoped Yuuri had been there to see it, and how glad he was that Yuuri had liked it. There was another thing Yuuri was starting to learn about having fans; they could be exhausting.

"I uh, I have to go, I promised Viktor we'd head out, but I'll see you tomorrow for the free skate." Yuuri practically ran out of the venue, afraid that if he'd stay too much longer, Minami would keep him there all night, and he was really looking forward to just spending some time with Viktor and not thinking about skating for a few hours. As much as he loved the ice, it was always stressful to think about competitions.

Making his way outside, he quickly fell into step beside Viktor, "So, where are you taking me?" It was strange when he really stopped to think about what was happening. Viktor Nikiforov was taking him out to dinner to celebrate his new best short program score. And the score wasn't even anything spectacular. Viktor himself had beaten that score many times over. It just seemed odd for him to want to celebrate something that for him was probably so simple.

"I saw a ramen place nearby. Figured we could try it. It's no katsudon, but it's the best I can do on such short notice." Viktor shrugged. He really would've liked to take Yuuri out for his favorite food at a time like this, but he didn't know anywhere nearby that made it. He wasn't exactly well versed in Japanese cuisine. Still, he knew Yuuri probably would've turned it down anyway, no matter how much he would've wanted it. Yuuri was so conscious of his weight, saying that he gained it so easily and that he had to be careful. Just for one night, though, Viktor hoped he could get Yuuri to relax a little. He worried about so many things, it would be nice for a single night to be carefree.

"That's alright, I shouldn't eat too much before tomorrow, anyway." Yuuri nodded, mirroring Viktor's thoughts. It didn't take long for a comfortable silence to fill the space between them as they walked. Yuuri's mind was racing, though. Why was Viktor taking him out to dinner? What was this? He kept reminding himself of exactly what this was. This was a friend congratulating him on his score. This was a friend encouraging him to never give up. He couldn't overthink things. He couldn't think about the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. It would only confuse him even more if he focused too much on the things that didn't matter.

It really didn't take long for them to arrive at the place Viktor had planned to take them and Yuuri was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't too fancy, but it wasn't a dive, either. He knew he's feel comfortable in his casual clothes in this place. Viktor had good taste. Sometimes he seemed to just want to throw money away, but this was something nice and simple. Understated. It was exactly what Yuuri needed. Still, that didn't mean Viktor wasn't going to milk it for everything it was worth, quickly stepping ahead of Yuuri and opening the door for him. People always said Viktor Nikiforov was a gentleman. There were times when Yuuri would absolutely deny that. Then there were times like this, times that didn't always make sense, but they made him smile all the same. After confessing what he thought of Viktor's eyes, though, Yuuri was still feeling shy. The simple gesture of opening the door just caused Yuuri to blush, averting his gaze as he stepped inside.

Viktor wasted no time, getting them a table and going so far as to pull out Yuuri's chair for him. This was strange, and a little over the top, but it was sweet all the same, he supposed. As he sat at the table across from Viktor, Yuuri looked around the room. There weren't many people there, which was a little surprising, but reassuring. He could just imagine someone spotting Viktor and suddenly they'd have a crowd surrounding them. It was a nice evening considering how badly Yuuri felt his day had gone, and the last thing he wanted was to ruin it.

After ordering their food, Viktor smiled brightly at Yuuri, "So, how does it feel?"

"How does what feel?" Yuuri looked back at him, genuinely curious.

"Beating your personal best, of course."

Yuuri shrugged, "I uh, I don't know. I should be asking you. You're the one who has a bunch of world records."

Viktor frowned, shaking his head, "Don't compare yourself, Yuuri. Every accomplishment is important, even the small ones." A moment passed, and Viktor's pleasant smile was back, "Besides, I'm sure your little fan wouldn't want to hear you talking like that."

Yuuri couldn't help but blush at the mention of Minami. It still felt a little strange to think he really did have a fan, especially one that was obviously a talented skater themselves. There were plenty of other far better skaters out there that Minami could look up to, so why did he choose him of all people? "Is that what I was like? Or… am like, I guess?"

Viktor raised an eyebrow at that, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest, "No, not really. You were a different kind of fan. There are a lot of different types. After a while, you figure out how to deal with each kind. Minami is one of the exhausting types, but definitely the more uplifting. It's best to just let him talk and offer him a compliment when the moment calls for it. You're good at talking to Minami."

Yuuri took in the information, nodding hesitantly. His curiosity had been piqued. Viktor had so many fans, it really wasn't all that surprising that he'd figured out how to handle each kind. "So, um… how do you deal with me?"

Viktor's smile didn't falter. If anything, it became more gentle as he leaned closer, "You are a special case."

"What? Why?"

"Because, Yuuri. You're more than just a fan. You're important to me."

"Yeah, well… you're more than just an idol…" Yuuri spoke softly, averting his gaze and trying to hide the blush that was once against raising on his cheeks. Viktor always did this. He always knew exactly what to say to make Yuuri flustered, and no matter how many times it happened, Yuuri knew he was never going to get used to that feeling. He did however, need to figure out what this feeling actually was, and how Viktor made it happen.

As their food arrived, they ate and talked about anything they could think of. Yuuri was interested in hearing everything he could about St. Petersburg, and Viktor seemed happy to oblige, telling him all the little things, the things about Hasetsu that reminded him of his home. Yuuri knew Viktor liked Hasetsu, but he could tell that he missed Russia. As much as he loved having Viktor around, he knew that he couldn't keep him forever. It was a painful thought, but one he couldn't ignore.

The evening had been quiet and relaxing. Yuuri didn't realise how much he'd needed it until Viktor had taken him out. It was strange, having someone who could comfort him so easily. It just made the thought of not having Viktor in his life anymore even more frightening. How was he going to cope once Viktor was gone? Who was he supposed to turn to? He knew he was going to have to learn to look after himself, but it was hard to want to do that when Viktor was right there, and so easy to lean on.

The walk back to their hotel room was much too fast for Yuuri. He wanted the night to last a little longer. The sooner he went to sleep, the sooner it would be morning, and he'd be performing his free skate. It was a scary thought, but he knew he couldn't avoid it forever. He knew that he couldn't stay up all night, or he'd mess up the routine. He had made some mistakes this time, he couldn't afford to let Viktor down again.

Dropping his duffel bag to the ground by the door, Yuuri kicked off his shoes and dropped his jacket on top of the bag. He probably should've been a bit tidier, but if he was honest, he was exhausted. He wanted to stay up, but he had spent the day worrying, practicing, skating, and now spending all this time around Viktor. It was all a lot for one day. Their beds were next to each other in the middle of the floor, and without much thought, Yuuri flopped down onto the nearest one, just wanting to get off his feet. The first thought that came to mind was how soft the pillows were. He yawned, humming contently as he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. And then Viktor was hitting him with yet another surprise.

Yuuri's eyes flew open as he felt the Russian drop down onto the bed with him, his arm wrapping lazily around Yuuri's waist. "V-Viktor, what are you doing, this isn't your…" He looked over at the man beside him, but it seemed he had fallen asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, "…bed." He sighed defeatedly. There were a lot of things about that moment that didn't make much sense to him. He had no idea Viktor was so tired. He must've really been worrying about Yuuri more than he'd realised. Did Viktor really care that much? It was hard believing that Yuuri could really matter that much to anyone, let alone Viktor Nikiforov.

Yuuri turned in Viktor's hold to watch him for a moment, wondering how he had gotten himself in this situation. He was sure most people would kill to be in his position, and deep down, maybe he would have, too. But that didn't mean he had any clue what he was meant to do. Well, he knew he should probably slip away and go to the other bed. That was what he should do. But was that what he wanted to do? No. Absolutely not. Viktor was teaching him something the more Yuuri spent time around him; stop thinking and just do what feels right. It was a scary thought, but when he was around Viktor, it was hard to resist the urge to just act without thinking. After a moment, Yuuri finally worked up the courage to shift his body a little closer to Viktor's. His eyes were locked on Viktor's face. How was he even more beautiful when he was asleep? Was that even fair? Yuuri knew he was taking risks being so close. He didn't know how deeply Viktor did or didn't sleep, and this would be an awkward moment for Viktor to wake up. He really couldn't help himself, though. This was a rare moment, one he doubted he'd ever get again.

Throwing caution to the wind, Yuuri hesitantly reached a hand out, gently brushing Viktor's hair from his face. He took a shaky breath as he watched Viktor sleeping. Even with those mesmerising eyes closed, Yuuri couldn't quite stop himself looking, taking in everything. He didn't want to forget a single detail. Suddenly, Viktor huffed in his sleep and Yuuri froze. This was it. This was the moment Viktor would wake up, realise just how creepy he was and this weird little fairytale he was living in would come to an end. It was nice while it lasted. This however, didn't happen. Instead, the arm around Yuuri's waist tightened it's hold and Yuuri had to press his hands to his mouth to stifle the surprised yelp the movement had elicited. Was this heaven or hell? He really wasn't sure anymore. Maybe he was dreaming. Surely that was what it was, because things like this just didn't happen to him. Yuuri still hadn't figured out what he was feeling when Viktor was close to him, but the one thing he knew for certain was that he didn't hate it, whatever it was.

Yuuri carefully slipped off his glasses, placing them beside the bed and moving closer to Viktor until their bodies were practically pressed together. This wasn't a moment he'd get again, and as selfish as it was, Yuuri wanted to make the most of it. Throwing caution to the wind, he slowly wrapped an arm around Viktor's waist, shifting until he was resting his head against Viktor's chest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, sighing happily. How did Viktor always smell so good? How did being so close to him always make Yuuri feel so warm and safe? As selfish as the moment was, Yuuri told himself he'd just stay like this for a little bit longer. He could slip away and move to the other bed before he went to sleep, and Viktor would never have to know. A moment of self-indulgence, a moment all his own that no one could ever take away from him. Yeah. That's what it was.

Yuuri whispered softly against Viktor's chest, listening to the reassuring sound of his heartbeat, "When the season's over… please don't leave…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> U tebya tozhe krasivyye glaza. - You have beautiful eyes, too.


	7. Chapter 7

There were many things to notice when Viktor woke that morning. First, he was much warmer than he normally would be after a night in bed. Then there was the fact that there seemed to be something in his arms. And of course, there was the gentle weight against his shoulder. Despite it being one of the best sleeps he'd had in a long time, there were a few questions left in his mind. All these questions disappeared the moment he reluctantly opened his eyes.

Viktor just wanted to stay asleep. He was a morning person most days, but he had never felt this comfortable, and now he knew why. Viktor had never really felt the desire to be someone's pillow, but that's exactly what he was. Looking down, he could see dark tufts of hair on the young man resting his head against Viktor's shoulder. Arms were wrapped around him, and he vaguely noticed the feeling of fingers gripping the back of his shirt, keeping him in place. Not that Viktor minded, of course. He had absolutely no desire to move from that spot. Most surprising was that he had apparently wrapped his own arms around Yuuri in his sleep without realising it.

Viktor was hesitant to do anything, afraid he'd wake Yuuri if he did and ruin this truly wonderful moment. He knew Yuuri would never normally do something like this and he didn't want to lose the moment. Carefully, he lifted his hand from Yuuri's waist to gently brush away some of his dark hair, smiling fondly when he saw the familiar sight of a sleeping Yuuri. He'd had to wake Yuuri up so many times over the months, it really wasn't anything new.

Instinct kicked in, and Viktor brushed his fingers delicately down Yuuri's back, trying to memorise every curve of his body. He wanted to remember this moment, this once in a lifetime opportunity. This was a chance to learn everything about Yuuri Katsuki, at least physically. Resting his hand at the small of his back, he watched Yuuri's sleeping figure. His eyelashes looked somehow longer when brushed gently against his cheeks, his lips slightly parted as he took slow, steady breaths. A man so anxious, so afraid of the world around him, and yet as he slept, he looked so at peace.

Without his glasses, Yuuri looked somehow more beautiful, and yet there was something so adorable about his sleeping figure. Viktor froze as he felt the body in his arms shifting, worried he'd woken him up, but the fear soon disappeared as Yuuri's grip on his shirt loosened and he moved closer, burying his face in Viktor's neck with a huff. Viktor smiled fondly, his arms wrapping around the body next to him just a little bit tighter, wanting to make sure Yuuri was comfortable. Without thinking, Viktor closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to the top of his head.

The body in his arms stiffened at the gentle touch, and it was at that moment Viktor knew Yuuri was awake. He didn't move, though, smiling brightly as he watched him, keeping his arms wrapped around him. Viktor didn't mind. He wasn't embarrassed. He was an affectionate person and was just happy to have a body to share his warmth with. Yuuri very slowly lifted his head just enough to look up at Viktor, causing the Russian to beam at him, "Dobroye utro solnyshko."

It was as though the sound of Viktor's voice had finally broken the spell and Yuuri was moving his hands from around Viktor, going to push himself away, but Viktor's hold was strong. He had no intention of letting Yuuri run away, "Relax, Yuuri. It's still early. We don't have to get up yet."

Yuuri pressed his hands to Viktor's chest, trying to push himself away. Viktor knew that if he tried hard enough, he could get away, and he really hated the thought of losing this closeness. Without a second thought, He was rolling their bodies, laying over Yuuri and gently threading their fingers together to stop him fighting. Yuuri's eyes were wide in surprise and Viktor could see the familiar blush rising on his cheeks, "Wh-What are you doing?"

"Don't run away, Yuuri. I had no idea you were so cuddly." Viktor smirked as he watched the brown eyes looking up at him with a mix of shock and confusion.

"You're the one who was holding me!"

Viktor could tell Yuuri wasn't going to admit that he was just as involved in their mutual cuddling. He'd have to bring out the one argument Yuuri really couldn't beat, "You're not wearing your glasses."

"So?"

"You only take them off when you know you're going to sleep. I've had to take them off for you when you've fallen asleep with them on plenty of times. So that means you took them off knowing you'd fall asleep with me." Viktor smirked, proud of his airtight logic.

Yuuri looked away from Viktor's eyes, biting his lip. He'd been caught out. That much was obvious, but he didn't want to seem like some creep falling asleep in someone's bed with them, "I-I wasn't going to sleep. I just wanted to… stay there for a while. I was going to go to the other bed, I must've dozed off."

Viktor leaned closer, the tips of their noses touching as he spoke barely above a whisper, "So you wanted to be close to me?"

"Th-That's not… I wasn't…" Yuuri was stammering, trying to find the best way to answer the question, but he was just coming up short. Nothing would be good enough. Viktor did nothing to deserve to have such a creepy fan. Yuuri sighed softly, "You fell asleep on me… you were warm. I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to find out."

Viktor watched Yuuri, seeing how genuinely remorseful he seemed. He frowned, moving one of his hands from Yuuri's to brush along his jaw. Yuuri had such soft skin. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed getting so close to him. One of many. "If it were up to me, every night would be like this."

"What?" Yuuri stared up at him, dumbfounded.

"I like having you close, Yuuri. It's…comforting." He admitted. Viktor had tried on many occasions to get close to Yuuri, but there were always things that seemed to get in the way. He'd never admit it to Yuuri, of course, but he'd tried to give into temptation plenty of times, too, but things seemed to stop them at every turn. Yuri back in Japan. Yuuri's nerves after his skating yesterday. But here they were. Yuuri wasn't fighting him anymore. In fact, Viktor was sure he felt Yuuri gently squeezing his hand, almost encouragingly. Viktor liked to think it was a sign to just go for it. Things couldn't keep going wrong. Viktor rested their heads together and he could feel Yuuri's breath against his skin. It all felt so overwhelming. This was finally going to happen. Viktor had tried so many times, but he was really going to be able to kiss Yuuri Katsuki.

A shrill sound filled the room, breaking Viktor from his daze. It seemed to have the same effect on the Japanese man underneath him. Yuuri let go of his hand, biting his lip as he brushed his fingers against his chest, "I need to get up, Viktor."

"Why?" Viktor was getting tired of the distractions. He made no effort to move, keeping just as close as he'd ever been.

"That's my alarm. If I don't get ready now, we'll be late." Yuuri sighed apologetically. He watched Viktor for a moment, shifting his body until he was leaning on his elbows and brushing a kiss against Viktor's cheek. The simple gesture took the older man off guard, and without thinking, he was rolling back over, his hand brushing the skin Yuuri's lips had touched. Viktor wasn't sure if it was his mind playing tricks on him or if his skin really was tingling where Yuuri had kissed. He glanced over at Yuuri who was now reaching for his phone, shutting off the alarm. He was bright red and Viktor couldn't help but smile. Yuuri was never quite so forward, and he wasn't sure if he did it just to get him to move, or if he really wanted to. The blush seemed to imply the latter, but Viktor wasn't going to get his hopes up.

"Yuuri Katsuki, anyone would think you were flirting with me." He teased, feeling a little more daring after the obvious display of affection. He shifted onto his side, watching as Yuuri slipped his glasses on.

Yuuri rubbed his tired eyes behind his glasses, his hair still messy from sleep. He was adorable. It seemed to take a moment for his sleep filled mind to realise what Viktor was talking about, covering his mouth with his hands, "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, you just looked so disappointed, I didn't know what to do…"

Yuuri's rambling continued until Viktor rolled his eyes, moving closer and pressing a kiss to Yuuri's cheek. The touch immediately silenced him, and Viktor chuckled softly, "There, now we're even. You can relax now."

"Th-That's easy for you to say." Yuuri mumbled, eyes wide as his hand brushed his cheek just as Viktor's had earlier.

"Go get ready, Yuuri. We're going to be late."

* * *

 

It had been one of the more embarrassing mornings of Yuuri's life and that in itself was quite the achievement. He still wasn't sure why he had kissed Viktor like that. He just needed Viktor to get off him, but he didn't want to upset him. His brain told him that that was the only way to do it, but maybe it was a mistake. He didn't know, but he didn't want to regret it. He didn't want to regret anything about that morning. Sure, he'd made a fool of himself, and he hadn't managed to keep his little self-indulgence a secret, but at least Viktor wasn't calling him a creep, or trying to get away from him.

Yuuri was almost ready to go, tying the laces on his shoes when he heard Viktor's voice, "Hey, Yuuri?" The first thing he noticed was how tentative Viktor seemed. It was odd for him. Viktor wasn't a shy person. Not at all. So why did he sound so…nervous?

Yuuri looked up from his shoes once he'd finished, seeing the concerned look on Viktor's face, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking." He'd begun to pace in the small space of their room. Now, that was something to worry about. Viktor was a confident person. He was never afraid to speak his mind, but he seemed to be worrying about how to word whatever it is he wanted to say. Finally, he stood in place, turning back to Yuuri and taking a deep breath, "I think you should take out some of the quads for your free skate today."

Yuuri froze, staring at him. He should've seen this coming. Viktor Nikiforov was a world-famous skating god. He could land any jump he tried with ease. He could perform any program that was given to him without batting an eye. Viktor Nikiforov; perfection in human form. And who was he? A skater who somehow made it to the Grand Prix Finals one time and made a complete fool of himself. A skater who froze up whenever there was an audience watching him. A skater with nerves as fragile as glass. They weren't in the same league, and Viktor was finally starting to figure that out.

"You don't think I can do it…" Yuuri's voice came out as barely anything more than a whisper, catching Viktor off guard.

"What? No! It's not that. I know you can do it, Yuuri."

"I know I botch my jumps sometimes in practice, and I know I messed up yesterday, but I feel better today…" Yuuri started rambling, but it was all he could think to do. He had to tell Viktor that he could do better, that he would be better, and so just hold on, just let him prove himself and don't go, please, please don't leave.

Viktor quickly crossed the space between them, taking Yuuri's hands in his own. The simple touch caused Yuuri's rush of words to grind to a halt, his eyes focused on their hands. He didn't understand. None of this made sense. Viktor didn't make sense. But he supposed, Viktor liked it that way. Reluctantly he looked up at Viktor, staring into those mesmerising eyes that were quickly becoming a welcome addition to his life. Then Viktor was talking, and he found himself hanging on his every word, "I know you can do it, Yuuri. But," His heart sank, "I know what your nerves are like. You should work your way up to the harder jumps, or you'll just overthink it."

Yuuri felt a lot of emotions in that moment, but the one closest to the surface was… anger? He glared at Viktor, pushing him away as he got to his feet, "I know I'm not the best skater. I know I make mistakes. I don't need you to tell me that, I tell myself every day! I don't need you to tell me I can't do something! I need you to believe in me even when I don't believe in myself! I need to be able to get on the ice and tell myself I can do it because Viktor believes in me! If you can't do that, then why are you even here!?"

Without thinking, Yuuri was slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading out the door. The hotel wasn't far from the venue. He'd go by himself if it meant getting away from this conversation. Yuuri knew Viktor meant well, but it wasn't something he needed to hear, especially not hours before his free skate. He needed to be confident. If he wanted to get to the Grand Prix Finals, he was going to have to be as close to perfection as he could get. It wouldn't be easy, he knew that, but he had Viktor by his side. At least, he thought he did. Now, he wasn't so sure.

* * *

 

Viktor got to the venue shortly after Yuuri did, and was spending every moment by his side, trying to help with anything he could. Yuuri was just trying to ignore him and focus on himself. He didn't want to think about arguing with Viktor. He didn't want to think about the possibility that Viktor actually didn't think he could do this at all. He didn't want to think about Viktor going back to St. Petersburg if he doesn't do well today. There were a lot of things racing through his mind that he'd rather just hide away from, but that wasn't so simple. Yuuri wanted to be upset with Viktor, too. He wanted to make him see how much his words had cut into him like knives, but every time Viktor brushed a hand against his back or his side, Yuuri felt himself relaxing against the gentle touch. Viktor had a way with him that Yuuri was sure he'd never understand.

Part of Yuuri thought that Viktor was right, that there was no way he could land all three quads and that maybe simplifying it to one for now would be a good idea. It did sound logical to slowly build up as you went along, after all. A stronger part of him was still angry, though. That part of him was screaming to prove Viktor wrong, to show him that he could do that and that he wasn't going to just give in at the first hurdle. If he tried to make things easy now, he'd never be able to make it to the top, that's what the voice in his head was saying, at least.

There was another problem, too. Word had quickly gotten out that Yuuri Katsuki would be attempting three quads in his free skate, and of course that had Minami very excited. Yuuri did like having a fan, but this was one of those moments when he really wished he didn't. Minami was so excited at the prospect of the quads, he'd been telling people that he was going to attempt one, too. And they all were saying that they'd like to as well. Yuuri knew that if they did successfully land quads, he'd need more than one in his own program to make the difference. So even if Viktor was right, even if he should be simplifying things, how could he? It could mean losing his place, it could mean losing Viktor. Was it really worth that much of a risk?

As they were heading to the ice for the practice skate, Minami rushed over to Yuuri, clearly just as animated and excited as he'd been the day before. Yuuri wondered if this boy ever got tired. He didn't seem to. He was always so bubbly and full of life. Right now, though, that life was a threat to his career, a threat to his chances of keeping Viktor in his life for just a little bit longer. Minami was the person to beat today, and he couldn't let the fact that he was a fan get in the way.

Bouncing over to Yuuri, Minami stood in front of him, beaming smile as he spoke, "Yuuri, I just wanted to say—"

"I've gotta go." Yuuri mumbled, quickly giving Viktor his skate guards and heading onto the ice.

"…Good luck." Minami sighed sadly as he watched him walk away before he too was stepping onto the ice for their practice.

Yuuri knew that he didn't have time to overthink things now. He had been doing that all morning. Now was his one chance before his free skate to try to crush the thoughts, and just calm his nerves. He was surrounded by talented skaters. He couldn't let that get to him, though. He had come first in the short program, by quite the margin. He just had to do well today, and everything would be fine. No distractions. No overthinking. He was going to prove Viktor wrong. Yuuri had never been more determined about anything before.

The practice skate ended all too quickly for his liking, and he found himself by Viktor's side, standing outside the rink once more. What he wasn't expecting was how irritated Viktor seemed to be, "You can be angry with me if you want to, Yuuri. That's fine. But don't take it out on your fans. Minami deserves better than that."

Yuuri could only watch as Viktor walked away, clearly frustrated with him. And Yuuri knew he was right. Again. Yuuri was angry. He was hurt. He wanted to show Viktor that he could take care of himself, but that didn't mean Minami deserved to be treated the way he was. It wasn't right or fair and he knew he had to make it up to him somehow. Minami was first up on the ice, and Yuuri was determined not to miss the performance this time. He could see that Minami wasn't as energetic as he usually was. He looked dejected and guilt flooded through Yuuri when he realised that was his fault. As Minami reached the middle of the ice, Yuuri did the only thing he could think to do. He called out as loud as he could, "You can do it, Minami! Good luck!"

It was like Yuuri's voice was a beacon, Minami's head immediately snapping in his direction. Their eyes met and Yuuri flashed him an encouraging smile. At least, he hoped it was encouraging. It wasn't exactly the type of smile he wore very often. Still, it seemed to be enough as Minami beamed at him, the usual excitement and energy back in his posture. Yuuri was kind of jealous. If only he could bounce back from things as easily as Minami just had.

The music started, filling the room with a jazzy beat that had the whole crowd clapping along. It was such an upbeat song, the perfect match for Kinjirou Minami. As he clicked his fingers, he began a step sequence. The crowd was enthralled, and Yuuri could see why. Minami was always an energetic person, and this program let him be himself, let him show his full potential. Minami landed a perfect triple axel, moving seamlessly back into his step sequence. Yuuri wondered how long he'd practiced this, wondered if Minami struggled in practices as much as he did. His mind went blank for a moment as he watched Minami land a quadruple toe loop, once again moving back into his step sequence as though nothing had happened. He landed a quad so flawlessly. Yuuri wasn't so sure there was anything Minami couldn't do when he put his mind to it.

Just as that thought entered his mind, Minami attempted another jump, landing on his side on the ice. The impact caused Yuuri to flinch, but he didn't look away. It was such a familiar sight, a reminder of all his failures, but Minami didn't let it stop him. He was quickly back on his feet, continuing the program. There was a long intermission of step sequences and spins, and Minami was making the music his own. Yuuri could tell just by watching him that with enough practice, Minami could be something truly special. He had the drive, he had the potential, and he could win a crowd over in a heartbeat. Yuuri smiled fondly as Minami pretended to play an imaginary guitar to the music. Landing his final combination jump flawlessly, the performance seemed to end all too soon, and the crowd was cheering. Minami seemed excited, pumping his fists in the air, and he had every right to be. That was an impressive performance. As Minami made his way off the ice, the familiar announcement rang through the venue.

_"And now the score for Kenjirou Minami. 152.14. Bringing him to a total of 214.97."_

It was an impressive score, and one Yuuri knew would be a challenge to beat. He didn't want to watch any of the other skaters, though. He knew that watching them would only make his nerves worse. Maybe watching Minami had done the same, but it was different. It felt wrong to not watch Minami perform. Once it was over and the next skater was preparing for the ice, Yuuri made his way to a secluded area to stretch, wanting to ignore the scores and focus on his own nerves.

* * *

 

"You did well today, Minami." Viktor leaned against the barrier as he stood beside Kenjirou Minami. He'd watched him from afar as the boy excitedly shouted praise to the other skaters, wishing them luck as their time to perform came. Minami was an interesting person, Viktor had decided. He was so full of life, so determined to win, but he never let the competitive side of himself turn him bitter. He was always sure to wish those competing against him luck, or to tell them how wonderful they had done. It was refreshing.

"Oh. Thank you, sir! I didn't realise you were watching." Minami smiled brightly, but Viktor could tell it wasn't the excitement that the same praise from Yuuri would've brought. It felt strange to have someone so sedate around him, but that too, was refreshing.

"Viktor's fine. I just wanted to apologise for Yuuri earlier. I know you really wanted to talk to him."

"O-Oh, it's fine. I shouldn't have disturbed him." Minami's voice went quiet as he spoke, and Viktor could tell it was still getting to him despite Yuuri's cheers from the sidelines during his performance.

Viktor hummed softly, shifting to give Minami his full attention, "Yuuri is a very anxious person. When his nerves get to him, he acts without thinking. He didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Are you sure?" Minami looked up at him, hope shining in his eyes. He was like a puppy, following anything that would lead him to Yuuri Katsuki. It was adorable.

"I'm sure." Viktor chuckled, "Try talking to him after he's done skating. He won't be so nervous then."

"Okay, I will! Thank you si—uh, Viktor!" It seemed to be enough to cheer Minami up. He was bouncing on the spot again, clearly excited at the prospect of getting to talk to his idol one more time.

* * *

 

Time seemed to move much too quickly for Yuuri's liking, and he found himself out there, the centre of the ice, preparing to perform his free skate program for the first time. It was a lot to think about, but Yuuri knew he'd be best at this if he just stopped thinking altogether.

"Go Yuuri! Good luck!" And once again, Yuuri was reminded how wonderful it was to have a fan, someone who believed in everything he did.

The music for the program filled the room, and it felt like…home. Yuuri had practiced this routine so many times. It was the routine that he and Viktor had created together, and it meant the world to him. He didn't want to screw it up, not this. Soon enough, he was moving into his first jump, a quad toe-double toe combination. He managed to land it flawlessly. One jump down, he was telling himself. He could do this. He would make Minami proud, he'd make Viktor proud. He could show them that he was worth all of Viktor's time, that he wasn't doing all of this for nothing.

Yuuri moved elegantly to the music, keeping his steps and spins in time. He knew Viktor was watching him. He knew Viktor wanted him to be safe and go for easier jumps. After the talk they'd had that morning, the next jump was going to be a triple salchow, instead of the quad they had initially planned for the program. Moving into the jump, Yuuri stuck to his guns, planning to attempt the quad salchow. It wasn't perfect. He stepped out of the landing, his hand touched the ice, but he was still on his feet, still moving. He wasn't going to let it beat him. He didn't care if the performance was perfect. Yuuri knew that he couldn't be perfect yet, but he could at least prove to Viktor that he could do this.

Yuuri could practically feel Viktor's eyes on him, and he wondered what the Russian was thinking. Would he be angry at him for going against what he'd advised? He wasn't his coach, but Viktor was an undefeated champion, it'd be crazy not to listen to something he told him, and yet there he was. Why was he so determined to prove himself to Viktor? He told himself it was because he was his idol, but it was so much more than that. Yuuri simply couldn't bear the thought of Viktor walking out of his life, so he had to give him a reason to stay. As Yuuri moved from his step sequence to a jump, he landed a flawless triple loop. He had managed to fight back the nerves from his sloppy quad.

As Yuuri moved along the ice to the music, he felt something like peace, a feeling like the one he got when he was gliding lazily along the ice to calm his nerves. Perhaps that was why Viktor wrote the program like this. He smiled to himself. Even now, Viktor was looking out for him. Before he knew it, he was landing a triple axel, continuing along the ice as if nothing had happened. Maybe this confidence was something Viktor gave him. He certainly didn't know where it had come from. The next jump was a triple flip. It was a sloppy landing, but he didn't falter. He did successfully land it, and he continued to move along the ice, ignoring the eyes trained on him.

It was the second half of the program and Yuuri wanted to show Viktor he could do this, that he was strong enough, that he wasn't going to let anything hold him back. He knew that even with his stamina, this was going to be difficult to pull off. It was exhausting, but he couldn't give up. He was going to do this. He moved into Yuri's suggested triple axel-single loop-triple salchow combination. The axel and loop were no issue, but he found his hand touching the ice once again as he attempted the salchow. The nerves were starting to bubble under the surface again. Could he really do this? Was he good enough to have Viktor Nikiforov in his life?

The thought only spurred him on more. Yuuri Katsuki was a wimp, a cry baby, a sensitive, anxious wreck of a man, but he was stubborn, and if there was one thing he refused to give up, it was Viktor. He landed his next jump, a triple lutz-triple toe combination, flawlessly before moving into the step sequence. He could handle a step sequence. They were what he was best at after all. He could do this. He would show Viktor why he couldn't possibly leave. Not yet. There was just one jump left. One more chance to prove to Viktor that he needed to stay. The quad toe loop started out well, but Yuuri over rotated and landed on the ice. It was a loss. It hurt. He hated that he'd wasted that last chance to show Viktor that he was worth sticking around for but couldn't let it ruin this for him. Getting back to his feet, he completed the program with as much dignity intact as he could.

It wasn't a perfect performance. There were a lot of things Yuuri needed to work on. He knew that. But still, he never gave up. He got through it, he knew he could fix the mistakes he had made in time for the Grand Prix Circuit. He just needed some time, and some patience, and Viktor by his side. Had he done enough to keep Viktor there? It was at that moment Yuuri realised there was a crowd of people cheering for him. He looked around the room, seeing Minami crying and applauding. At least he knew he hadn't let Minami down. Viktor was by his side, arms crossed over his chest. His expression was impossible to read. Had he really upset him that much? He just wanted to prove himself.

Yuuri knew he couldn't stay on the ice forever, slowly making is way to Viktor's side. What were you supposed to say in moments like these? He hadn't ignored his advice to spite him. He just wanted to prove himself. All of Yuuri's thoughts were cut off as Viktor wrapped him up in his arms, holding him close, and suddenly it felt like all his fears had disappeared. Viktor Nikiforov; perfection in human form, and Yuuri's safety net. Yuuri wrapped his arms around the Russian, burying his face in his neck and taking a shaky breath, "I'm sorry…"

"No, I'm sorry. I won't ever tell you to change your program again, okay?" Viktor spoke softly, holding him just a little tighter, "I believe in you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

_"And now the score for Yuuri Katsuki. 165.20. Bringing him to a total of 259.56."_

* * *

 

Everything felt like a blur after his skate. He had come in first place, Minami coming second, and Fujiwara Hikaru making his way to third place. He had managed to qualify, he could move onto the next stage with Viktor by his side. Viktor wasn't going to leave, not yet. Yuuri had never felt so happy. He'd never been so elated after a competition. They normally made him so scared, so anxious, but he didn't feel that way when he had Viktor watching him. He could do this.

As they were heading to leave the venue, Yuuri noticed Minami sitting on his own in a corner of the room. He didn't look upset, but he wasn't his usual energetic self. Yuuri excused himself from Viktor's side to check on him, after all, he had hurt the boy enough. He wanted to make it up to him somehow. Slipping into the seat beside Minami, Yuuri nudged his shoulder gently, "That's not the face of a guy who beat his personal score. What's up?"

Minami looked up at him, his bright smile back, though he still wasn't his usual ball of energy, "Nothing, it's just… not every day you get to skate on the same ice as Yuuri Katsuki. I'm just sad that it's over." He shrugged.

Yuuri stared at him for a moment, trying to come to terms with what he'd said. He couldn't understand why anyone would look up to him the way Minami did. There was no reason for it. Today was his best skate, and it was riddled with mistakes. Yuuri leaned back in his seat, watching Minami curiously, "Why am I your idol, Minami? There are plenty of great skaters out there. Why me?"

Minami frowned, seeming so confused by the question, as if the answer were the most obvious thing in the world. How could Yuuri not know how wonderful he was? But still, he humoured him, looking down at the second place certificate in his hands, "It's because you're you. You're not perfect. You make mistakes, but here you are, still skating. Sure, there are a lot of great skaters, but you're… real."

It was the most honest answer Yuuri could've ever expected, and he didn't know where it had come from. Minami didn't see him as the perfect figure skater. Minami acknowledged that he made mistakes, and he didn't care. He liked that he made mistakes because it made Yuuri more human. Mistakes had been the thing that had defined Yuuri Katsuki for so long and he'd not once considered them something to be proud of before, but Minami made him sound so much stronger than he really was. Without thinking, Yuuri leaned over and wrapped Minami in a hug. The young boy froze for a moment, before wrapping his arms around Yuuri and he could feel the boy's excitement bubbling over again.

Yuuri chuckled softly as he pulled away, "Hey, could I borrow your phone?"

Minami stared at him for a moment before taking it out, "Uh sure, why?"

"Two things." Yuuri took the phone from him, quickly typing into it. He held the phone up to Minami, showing the additional contact he'd added, "I want you to call me when you next have a competition, okay? You're always cheering me on, it's my turn."

"Okay! I promise!" Minami was clearly holding back the excited squealing that he so badly wanted to let out, "What's the other thing?"

"Well, you can't meet your favourite skater without getting a picture, right? That's what my friend, Phichit says, anyway." He held up the phone, leaning into Minami as he took the photo. From that day on, Minami's phone wallpaper was an image of himself with Yuuri Katsuki, both wearing bright smiles as they held up their hands in a victory sign. Yuuri was grateful to know there were people who wouldn't hold his past against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Dobroye utro solnyshko - Good morning, sunshine.


	8. Chapter 8

The weeks after the competition flew by so quickly, it felt like no time had passed at all. Every day had been filled with challenges. Yuuri was so determined to land all of his jumps, to improve his step sequences and his spins. Yuuri knew he could do better and he wanted to prove it. There had been a few times that Viktor had had to push Yuuri to take breaks. He couldn't deny Yuuri's improvement, though. In such a short amount of time, he at least seemed to be a little bit more confident when performing his programs. Viktor could only hope that would last when they arrived at the Cup of China.

What Yuuri now considered 'the Cuddling Incident' hadn't been repeated since that night in their hotel room. He was pretty sure it had a lot to do with the fact that they had separate rooms back in Hasetsu, but that wasn't going to last forever. He'd tell Viktor to get his own room while they're traveling, but that just felt like a waste of money. Besides, it wasn't so bad sharing a room with him. The thought that maybe they'd end up in each other's arms again had only crossed his mind a few dozen times. It wouldn't be a big deal. That's what he had told himself over and over again.

Of course, Yuuri hadn't really expected Viktor to fall asleep with his head rested on his shoulder in the plane to China. It took him by surprise at first, but he really didn't mind. Yuuri was tired. His training had become so extensive over the last few weeks, determined to prove himself in this qualifier. He couldn't let Viktor down, and he had to show Viktor his conviction. With Viktor so close, his warmth so soothing, Yuuri rested their heads together, closing his eyes. He could pretend he didn't mean to fall asleep so close to him and just enjoy this for a few hours, right?

* * *

 

Yuuri was eternally grateful for the small time difference between Japan and China. He wouldn't be too jetlagged. It meant he could get enough rest for the competition without worrying about oversleeping, or not sleeping enough. Viktor on the other hand, seemed completely refreshed after the short nap he'd had on the plane. He was excitedly talking about all the places he could show Yuuri while they were in town as they made their way through the hotel to find their room. Of course. Viktor had been to China before for competitions, he knew the area. He probably knew all the best places to go. Normally, Yuuri would just stick to the hotel room until the competition. He was a shy person, and as much as travelling was exciting, his nerves before a competition could get the better of him. It was better to just stick to himself and focus. With Viktor there, though, he found it easier to go with the flow, to just do whatever Viktor planned for them. After all, being in Viktor's company had a habit of emptying Yuuri's mind of all the fear and self-doubt.

That was how Yuuri found himself sitting in a restaurant in the middle of China that evening. Viktor had at least given him enough time to get settled before he dragged him out of the hotel room. There were no real plans ahead of them, but soon enough they had found themselves at their own table, plates of food in front of them, though Viktor was the only one eating. Yuuri was looking around the room, quickly realising that this place was fancier than anywhere he would go to on his own, and he was glad Viktor had dragged him there. It was something he'd never normally do, even if it was something so simple. Viktor had been praising the food and seemed a little disappointed when Yuuri turned down some he'd been offered.

Yuuri looked down at the table, "I gain weight really easily. I shouldn't eat stuff like that before a competition."

Viktor was silent for a moment, and Yuuri could feel his eyes on him. Finally, he spoke up, "I'll just have to take you somewhere like this after the competitions, then."

"Y-You don't have to take me anywhere!" Yuuri raised his voice without thinking as he snapped his head back up to look at Viktor, blushing. Why was he so embarrassed? He had no reason to be. Friends invited each other to places like this all the time, it wasn't anything new. Was that what it was? Viktor Nikiforov had been his idol for so long, was it really so bewildering for him to be his friend? That didn't make sense, though. They'd been friends for months now, talking to him had gotten so much easier. So why was Yuuri feeling so nervous when Viktor talked about taking him places like that?

The sudden outburst seemed to take Viktor off guard. A moment of silence passed between them as they just stared at each other. Yuuri really wished it would just end, wished Viktor would say something, anything. The moment felt like an eternity, though it was only a few seconds before Viktor was flashing one of his dazzling smiles, "I want to take you places, Yuuri! The world is a wonderful place, and I want to share it with you. There are so many things you still need to see, and so many foods you need to try."

Viktor was such a cheerful person. He always seemed to be searching for new things to do and see, but Yuuri wasn't sure why Viktor wanted to share everything with him. Viktor knew plenty of people, and they all must've been more interesting than him. The only reason Viktor was even sitting there with him was because of a drunken deal he couldn't even remember making. Yuuri had never fought this hard to win before, but it stopped being about the bet a long time ago. He just had to keep Viktor there. He couldn't let Viktor doubt his decision to be there with him, not for a moment. He had to make this last for as long as possible. Of course, Yuuri wasn't naïve. He knew he only had a few months left, that once the Grand Prix Circuit was over, Viktor would be gone, but thinking about that just hurt too much. He couldn't imagine his life without Russian accents, silky silver hair, dazzling blue eyes, breathtaking smiles, heart warming laughter… The longer he spent time with Viktor, the more this feeling grew. He was becoming one of those creepy fans, he was sure. By the end of this he'd have a restraining order. But he couldn't possibly pull himself away. Not for a second.

"Yuuri?" The sound of Viktor's gentle voice speaking his name broke him from his thoughts and he quickly realised that Viktor had been trying to get his attention. Smiling reassuringly, Viktor held up a glass of wine, "Would you like something to drink? It might calm your nerves."

Yuuri shook his head, though he was still a little distracted by his thoughts, "No, I don't drink before a competition."

"Only after, huh?" Viktor smirked, raising an eyebrow at the man sitting across from him before taking a sip of his drink.

A blush rose on Yuuri's cheeks, and he quickly averted his eyes, opting to stare at the table instead. Viktor had seen him drunk, had seen a side of himself that he couldn't possibly remember, but the hardest part was knowing that it just wasn't him. Whatever he said or did while under the influence, it wasn't what he was really like. This thing, whatever it was that had brought Viktor Nikiforov into his life, none of it was real. Yuuri didn't know how he could possibly measure up to his expectations. After all, he didn't even know what Viktor had seen. Yuuri had told himself so many times that he should just ask Viktor exactly what he'd done and explain that he really wasn't that person. He didn't know how to say it, though. How could he? If he said the wrong thing, Viktor could disappear. But Yuuri knew Viktor wanted him to be more confident, to speak his mind. Taking a deep breath, he spoke softly, "Viktor, I—"

"Yuuri?"

Looking up at the sound of his name being uttered, he didn't know that he was expecting to see, but it certainly wasn't his best friend. Phichit Chulanont. He hadn't seen him in over a year now. Yuuri had forgotten that Phichit had qualified for the Grand Prix Circuit. He'd been so caught up in his own world, he didn't even realise he'd be seeing his best friend again, "Phichit?"

"Hey man, it's been forever. I didn't think I'd see you here after…" His voice trailed off as he realised Yuuri wasn't alone. Suddenly it made sense to see Yuuri in a place like this if he wasn't by himself. Though, Phichit was completely caught off guard by the Russian God of Figure Skating sitting on the other side of the table.

"Hello there!" Viktor waved cheerfully, his heart shaped smile on display.

Yuuri quickly got to his feet, "Uh, Viktor, this is Phichit. I used to train with him. Phichit, this is—"

"Viktor Nikiforov? Whoa, this is awesome! Is this why I haven't heard from you in so long?"

"Right, sorry. I guess I kinda lost track of everything and just focused on training." Yuuri smiled apologetically. He really hadn't meant to neglect his friend. They used to talk all the time, but when Viktor arrived in his life, everything had been about training. He couldn't possibly let Viktor down. He just hadn't thought much about anything else. Yuuri hadn't even thought to tell Phichit about Viktor's arrival in his life, but that was probably the biggest mistake of all. Phichit had been there for Yuuri through his darkest times. If anyone could help him deal with his fear of Viktor leaving, it would be him.

Phichit waved a hand at Yuuri dismissively, "Don't worry about it. At least I get why you went silent on me for so long. Hang on, let me call the others, they'd love to meet both of you. After all, we'll all be competing tomorrow, right?" He smiled brightly at Yuuri before pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts.

The night went by so quickly after that. Phichit had invited Guang Hong, and Leo to meet them. Yuuri was the kind of person who just kept to himself during competitions and avoided talking to the others. He wasn't sure exactly why. Maybe it was because he was shy, maybe it was because of nerves, or maybe it had something to do with his competitive streak. Still, he was glad he had someone like Phichit in his life to help him meet people. Guang Hong seemed to be almost as shy as Yuuri was. It was refreshing, really. They both seemed like great people, and Yuuri was finding himself grateful to Viktor, as well. After all, if Viktor hadn't pushed him, he wouldn't have been there in the first place. The only regret Yuuri had from that night was not talking to Viktor about the banquet.

* * *

 

It had been so long since Yuuri had been to the Cup of China. He'd almost forgotten what the atmosphere was like. Of course, it was nothing compared to the Finals, but it was still much more important than the last competition he was in. This was it. This was his chance to prove himself to Viktor once and for all. Even more than that, this was his chance to bring Viktor back to the world of figure skating. Ever since he'd retired, the skating world had been different. It wasn't that people had stopped wanting to skate. There were just some skaters who didn't have as much drive as they once had. Some people had lost their idol. Others had lost their rival. Yuuri wanted to bring that back to them. He wanted them to see that Viktor hadn't given up on skating. He couldn't have. If he had, he wouldn't be so determined to see Yuuri skate.

"Hey, Yuuri. Can I talk to you?" He looked up to see Phichit standing beside him, an arm rested gently on his shoulder. He would've thought it an odd request from anyone else, but this was his best friend. Yuuri looked over his shoulder to see that Viktor was distracted with the press. Of course, Viktor was here in a much more competitive light than he had been the year before. It made sense for the press to be so excited.

"Sure." Yuuri smiled at his friend, walking down the hall to a more secluded area. As they walked, he tried to figure out exactly what Phichit would want to talk to him about. They hadn't seen each other in so long that he knew it could be about almost anything. Maybe he just wanted to wish him luck. The last time Phichit had seen him skate, he hadn't exactly been very impressive. Maybe he was worried about him.

The moment they were alone, Phichit turned to him, clearly excited, "So, Viktor Nikiforov!?"

"…What?" Yuuri was confused. Very confused. Phichit admired Viktor, sure, but he was never as much of a fan as he was. Why was he so excited about Viktor being there? He hadn't been acting that way at all the night before, though maybe Phichit was just playing it cool in front of him. In all the time he'd known him, he'd never been the type to act like an excited fan, though. It just didn't make any sense.

Phichit nudged his shoulder, smirking, "Don't play dumb with me, Yuuri. You've been his biggest fan as long as I've known you. You said you wouldn't skate again, yet here you are. With Viktor. How long have you been dating? I want to know everything!"

"What!?" Yuuri sputtered, taken off guard by Phichit's words. Dating!? Did it really look like that? Viktor had been such an important part of his life, especially over the last few months, but dating? Of course not. That would be ridiculous. He looked around them to make sure no one had heard what Phichit had said, "It's not like that. We're just friends, that's all."

"Friends don't look at each other the way you two do."

Yuuri froze. Was he being that weird? He knew he looked at Viktor a lot, but it was just because he still had trouble believing that all of this was happening. Sometimes he thought he would wake up one day and find out that this was all a dream. Things like this just didn't happen to him after all. But if Phichit noticed after just one night, then how uncomfortable was he making Viktor? He'd have to restrain himself. Yuuri looked away, speaking softly, "He's my idol. I look at him like he's my idol."

It wasn't exactly a lie. Viktor was still the person who had inspired Yuuri's skating career. He was still the one Yuuri tried so desperately to live up to. He wanted to be enough to make Viktor Nikiforov proud. More than that, he wanted to be able to surpass him one day.

"That explains you, but it doesn't explain him." Phichit seemed to notice the confused look on Yuuri's face this time, "You haven't noticed the way he looks at you?" Yuuri shook his head after a long moment. He really hadn't. Viktor smiled at everyone. He was always happy. He was always trying hard to make other people smile. He didn't look at Yuuri in any special way, not as far as he'd ever seen before. Phichit shook his head, wrapping an arm around Yuuri's shoulders and guiding him towards the rink, "Come on, our practice starts soon. Just think about it, okay?"

* * *

 

It had been so long since Yuuri had seen Phichit skate. They used to practice together all the time, but it was different now. They weren't training partners anymore. They were competitors. They both wanted gold, and only one of them could have it. Still, Yuuri wanted to see Phichit succeed almost as much as he wanted to win the gold himself. Phichit had to get at least second in the Cup of China if he wanted to move onto the next stage of the Grand Prix Circuit, and Yuuri was sure he could do it. He didn't want to be a hindrance to his friend's chances, but he honestly didn't think he had anything to worry about. Phichit was a brilliant skater, and he had the potential to win. As Phichit made his way to the centre of the ice, Yuuri watched with baited breath, excited to see just how far his best friend had come in the time they'd been apart.

He couldn't help but smile as the music began to play. Yuuri could remember vividly all the times Phichit had told him he would one day skate to this song in front of thousands of people. He loved it, and the crowd seemed to as well. There was something wonderful about watching Phichit skate. He'd noticed it back when they trained together, too. Phichit was competitive, of course, but he lived in the moment when he was on the ice. His smile was clearly on display as he landed his first jump, the triple axel. Yuuri watched, entranced as he silently wished for Phichit's skate to go well.

His combination triple lutz and triple toe loop were landed well, but Phichit fell to the ice after attempting his quad toe loop. Still, he had enough rotations. It would still get him some decent points even if he lost some in the execution. The fall didn't seem to matter, though. Not to the audience. Phichit was making the music his own, the crowd clapping along enthusiastically as he began his combination spin. The program seemed to be over much too quickly, but the crowd loved it and Yuuri couldn't help but be happy for his best friend. He'd gotten better since he'd last watched him. It felt even better when he heard the announcers reveal the score. 86.75. A personal best for Phichit. He deserved it, too.

Of course, Phichit doing well still left some pressure on him. He had to do well. All the world watched the Grand Prix Circuit, and they now knew that Viktor was here. For him. He wasn't just proving himself to Viktor anymore. He was proving himself to them, too. He had to show them that he deserved to have Viktor there, that no one could take him away. He knew he sounded crazy. He knew that if Viktor could hear the things he thought, he'd probably run a mile. No one wanted a fan as crazy as him. Still, all he really wanted was for his skating to make Viktor happy. He didn't always believe in himself, but when he saw Viktor's smile, that changed. Because if Viktor could smile so warmly, so brilliantly, if Viktor could offer all the praise that he had to him, it had to mean he wasn't as bad as he thought he was. Right?

The other skates seemed to go by in a blur. Georgi Popovich was sitting in first place with 98.17, Leo not too far behind with 87.98. Phichit was in third. He didn't want to knock his friend from the podium, but Yuuri knew this was just the beginning. This was the short program. Phichit still had time to prove himself in the free skate. Yuuri simply couldn't afford to hold back. He had too much at stake. Every skater seemed to have a different style. Guang Hong's performance was filled with grace. Georgi's was… angry. That was really the only way Yuuri could think to describe it, though he was sure he saw him shed a few tears. It made him wonder what exactly was motivating him. Leo's program had a similar feel to Phichit's though the music was very different. They both had performances that seemed to be filled with hope. And Chris… well… Chris' performance was pure sex appeal.

"Are you okay? You seem worked up." Viktor stood on the other side of the barrier, his fingers brushing over Yuuri's and breaking him from his thoughts.

Viktor's eyes were as dazzling as ever. Did he know what one little look could do to people? Probably. That was why he winked at cameras with that devilish smile, Yuuri was sure. Viktor Nikiforov, the man who went out of his way to always surprise people. Well, Yuuri wanted to be able to surprise him, too. Without thinking, Yuuri threaded their fingers together, pulling Viktor closer and murmuring softly, his breath brushing against Viktor's cheek, "Just watch, okay? I don't care if the whole world is watching, just as long as you are."

It seemed to be all the encouragement Viktor needed. Yuuri felt his gently squeeze his hand, the bright heart shaped smile returning, "I came here for you. I'm not going to miss it for the world."

As Yuuri reached the centre of the ice, he looked over at Viktor. To his credit, he hadn't taken his eyes off him. Viktor wanted him to do this. If he didn't, he wouldn't be there. There for him. That's what he'd said. Viktor Nikiforov had flown all the way to Hasetsu just for him and had spent months by his side. This was all for him, and for the time being, Viktor Nikiforov was his.

As the music for the program began to play, Yuuri fell into his usual step sequence, though the jumps had been shifted to the second half of the program to up his score. Yuuri wasn't holding back anything, not now. Viktor's time in his life was always going to be temporary, but for right now, in China, in front of the world, he would show everyone that Viktor was his, and that he wasn't going to let anyone take him away. Maybe it was crazy. Maybe he still didn't understand the things he'd been feeling since Viktor had arrived in his life, but he didn't want them to go away.

Phichit's words were spiralling through his mind as he landed his first jump. Friends didn't look at each other the way they did. But if that was true, what were they? They weren't acquaintances. Not anymore. He always thought friendship was all it was. Although he supposed that friendship was difficult between an idol and his fan. But if they weren't friends, then what was it? What was Phichit seeing from Viktor that he couldn't? Yuuri just didn't understand. He only knew his own feelings, and those had been so confusing lately, he could barely think straight. All he knew was that he longed for the feeling he had when he'd fallen asleep in Viktor's arms. He lived for the moments Viktor smiled and made his heart melt. And Yuuri Katsuki wasn't going to give that up for any of the skaters who wanted to take the gold away from him. His feelings were all drumming together inside him, and they all brought him to the same conclusion. Viktor belonged to Yuuri. Maybe not forever, but right now he did, and he'd fight anyone who tried to challenge that.

The program ended so quickly, Yuuri didn't even realise at first. He had been running on muscle memory but hadn't seemed to have fallen or stumbled throughout the performance. Maybe it was enough, at least for now. He still had the free program. That was worth so much more than the short. He could do this. Once Yuuri had taken his bows, he headed off the ice, only to be stopped by Viktor's arms wrapping tightly around him, "You were incredible. That's the best you've ever skated."

Hearing the praise caused his heart to flutter. What was it about Viktor that did this to him? He didn't understand it. Ignoring the blush rising to his cheeks, he wrapped his arms around Viktor, chuckling nervously, "We have to go to the kiss and cry, Viktor."

He didn't want to let go of him. He really, really didn't, but he knew that they were probably on TV right now, and despite how much he enjoyed being close to Viktor, he wasn't so excited at the prospect of the press jumping to conclusions like Phichit had. He was grateful that he could claim his blush was from the exertion of skating, taking his skate guards from Viktor and slipping them on before they headed over to the kiss and cry. He wasn't expecting a particularly amazing result. He just needed enough to give him an edge for the free skate.

Sitting in the kiss and cry had always been one of the more nerve wracking things for Yuuri. He didn't know how people handled the nerves. Of course, there was nothing he could do. He had skated the best he could, and he had to accept whatever result he got. It was the waiting that made it so difficult. Viktor seemed to sense the nerves, though, resting a hand at the small of his back. It was amazing how something so simple could be so reassuring.

_"Yuuri Katsuki has earned in his short program… 106.84, a new season's best. He is currently in first place."_

Yuuri froze as he heard the announcement, barely registering Viktor wrapping him up in his arms. He was in first place after the short program. He'd never been in first place in a competition this size before. He was facing some of the better skaters in the world, and he was in first place. They would all be trying to beat him, now more than ever. Yuuri didn't know whether to be relieved because of his score, or terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this point on, the scores will be changing from the show, which means the characters could find themselves in completely different positions on the podium. Who will win!? We'll have to wait and see :D


	9. Chapter 9

There were some positives for being in first place after the short program. It gave him an edge. Being ahead before the free skate meant that he could afford to make a mistake. He was eight points above everyone else after the short program. That was easily enough points to cement his place on the podium, so long as he performed reasonably well in the free skate. Unfortunately for Yuuri, being in first place after the short program also came with it’s problems.

Yuuri was always a nervous, anxious person. Being the one to beat was not helping his nerves. He knew that every skater would be gunning for him, they would be doing everything to beat _him_. It wasn’t something Yuuri was used to. He was much more familiar with being at the bottom of the ranks, trying to climb his way back up. Even Phichit had said he would be coming for him in the free program. Yuuri was used to being in the shadows, going unnoticed. He liked it that way. Being in the spotlight was different. It was scary. Added to that was his family and friends excitedly encouraging him, telling him that he could do it. It was just so much pressure. He didn’t know if he really could live up to whatever it was people were expecting of him.

Sleep wasn’t coming to Yuuri that night. He didn’t know how Viktor did this. It was hard enough to fight off the nerves already without being at the top of the scoreboard. This was the first time he’d felt these nerves before. It wasn’t even this bad back at the championship. This felt so much greater, so much more important. Glancing over, Yuuri reached for his glasses, slipping them back on. He’d given up on sleep. It simply wasn’t going to come no matter how hard he tried. Looking over at the bed beside his own, he saw Viktor’s sleeping body and wondered how someone so incredible, so perfect in every way could be so close. It was still strange to believe that Viktor was right there, within reach. Part of him really wished Viktor was wrapped up with him again. Maybe that would make sleeping easier. Of course, it would. Whenever he had Viktor close, it seemed like all the thoughts seemed to fade away and he was left with nothing but the here and now, the closeness, the warmth. Viktor was like his own brand of reassurance designed especially for him.

Picking up his phone, Yuuri noted that it was already two in the morning. Viktor usually made them wake up early, saying there was no point in wasting the day. If he was lucky, he’d maybe be able to get four, maybe even five more hours sleep. Yuuri knew that wasn’t going to happen. His mind was too full. He had too much to think about. In times like these, Yuuri would head down to Ice Castle and skate until his thoughts went away, but that wasn’t an option now. Instead, he did the next best thing. Quietly, Yuuri slipped out from his bed, making sure he wouldn’t wake Viktor as he tugged on his sweatpants and a jacket before tying his shoes and heading out the door. He just needed some air. That’s what he had told himself. If he couldn’t be on the ice, he could go for a run.

It felt strange to run without Makkachin nipping at his feet, following behind him. How long had it been now? Six, seven months? Viktor had been in his life for seven months now. It didn’t feel like that long. Viktor had swept him off his feet in every way, and time seemed to fly by when he was there. It was scary, really. To think that Viktor Nikiforov had been such an important part of his life for so long and it had felt like maybe a month. Yuuri set a steady pace as he ran along the streets of Beijing, looking around himself every now and then to see the bright lights of the city. It was so much bigger than Hasetsu. Of course, he’d been there before when he had been qualifying for Sochi, but he had never really stepped far from his hotel room. This time, though, it felt good to go for a run in the cool night air. If only it would help his mind clear, but it just didn’t seem to stop.

There was so much riding on his performance today. He had so much to prove in the course of a few short minutes, and everyone would be watching, judging his every move. He had to show people that he wasn’t the same person who made a fool of himself back in Sochi. They expected him to be like that, he was sure. They expected him to falter, to stumble, to make a mockery of himself, but he knew he couldn’t let that happen. To fail now would be failing his family, his friends, Viktor… Every skate was a chance to lose Viktor. That’s what he was beginning to realise. With every skate, he had the potential to fail, and the moment he failed, Viktor would get his dance and then walk away. He’d never see him again. The man who had swept into his life like a gust of wind and shook his world off kilter. Suddenly, Yuuri’s life was filled with smiles, laughter, confidence, support… a life of black and white had been filled with colour by the mere sound of Viktor’s voice reminding him that everything was going to be okay. There were things that Yuuri Katsuki didn’t realise he was missing in his life, but now that he had them, he couldn’t imagine being without them.

Still, he couldn’t afford to grow so attached to Viktor. No matter how much he wanted to, he knew that it couldn’t last, that this was all a means to an end. Nothing good ever lasted forever, and this was no different. Tears stung at Yuuri’s eyes and he gritted his teeth as he sped up his pace, as if running from the very feelings that were brimming at the surface. He didn’t want to be alone again. He didn’t know how to deal with the thoughts that tried so hard to suffocate him when he had to fight them unaided. Alone, he’d be dragged under, he’d drown in his sadness. Before Viktor came into his life, it was spiralling out of control. He didn’t know what he was going to do with himself, he just knew that his future was looking bleak. Maybe he already had the talent, maybe Viktor had seen something in him, but he knew that it never would’ve come out without the Russian’s help.

It was more than that, though. Viktor Nikiforov had always been this idol on a pedestal far beyond his reach, this God of figure skating who could do no wrong. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Viktor mess up a jump or step out of rhythm. He was truly perfection on the ice. Yuuri knew he couldn’t be the only one who looked up to him. Viktor was everything a figure skater wanted to be. But it wasn’t that simple anymore. Since Viktor had stepped into his life, he’d learned so much about him that he never knew from the newspapers, or the interviews. Viktor was a morning person. He went to sleep easily and seemed to sleep soundly. He loved culture. Every time they were in a new town, Viktor would drag him everywhere, desperate to show him everything. Viktor was affectionate to a fault, often forgetting the unwritten rules of public displays with his insistence to wrap an arm around Yuuri’s waist or hold his hand. It was always to save them getting separated. That’s what Yuuri told himself. Seeing Viktor skating in person was something else, too. There was so much passion in every move he made, like he was determined to tell his story. It wasn’t about getting a certain amount of points. It was about the art, the music, the performance. Viktor Nikiforov was so much more than the man the press had painted him as.

And Yuuri Katsuki’s heart fluttered every time he thought about him.

He didn’t realise how fast or far he’d been running until his breath finally caught up with him, urging him to stop as his lungs burned with the need for air. Yuuri slowed to a halt, resting his hands on his knees as he bent over to catch his breath, and it was as if his body decided that was all the invitation it needed for his tears to slip, hitting the pavement like raindrops. Why did it hurt so much? There had been so many people who had walked in and out of his life, so many people who had helped him and taught him so many things, why did Viktor mean so much more? Why did the thought of him going back to Russia make his whole body numb? Why was he trying so desperately to impress Viktor enough to make him stay? Yuuri couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him.

Yuuri rubbed the tears away from behind his glasses, sighing dejectedly. It felt like his whole life was a mess. It didn’t make sense, he should’ve been over the moon. Pulling out his phone, he realised he’d already been running for an hour. If he wanted to get back before Viktor woke up, he’d have to start moving now. The thought that maybe some fresh air would clear his mind had been well and truly debunked. Yuuri was even more confused than he’d been before.

* * *

 

Yuuri hadn’t been back in his bed very long before he heard the man on the other side of the room begin to wake up. He knew Viktor wouldn’t let him stay asleep long. Being a morning person and believing in the importance of living every day to the fullest meant that Viktor was always pushing Yuuri to get out of bed early. He didn’t mind on this day, though. He hadn’t gotten to sleep, and he was sure that he wasn’t going to get any no matter how long he tried. His head just wouldn’t stay quiet. As if on cue, Yuuri felt the mattress shift beside him, but he kept his eyes closed. He could at least pretend he got some sleep. That way Viktor wouldn’t worry about him, right?

He didn’t know what he was expecting. Viktor had woken him up almost every day since he’d walked into Yuuri’s life, but he never really knew how Viktor did it other than hearing his voice and occasionally feeling the gentle nudge on his arm. He tried to stay still as he felt Viktor’s hand brush along his side and gently over his arm. Yuuri was thankful his eyes were closed, and his head was buried into his pillow, because he was sure Viktor would’ve noticed the blush rising on his cheeks if he did. Why was Viktor like this with him? He was always so gentle and careful, and this was a side of Viktor that Yuuri only ever saw when they were alone. Was Viktor self-conscious, too? He couldn’t imagine why. As Viktor’s hand brushed through his dark hair, Yuuri did his best to stay quiet and not lean into that soothing touch.

“Yuuri. I know you’re awake.” Viktor’s voice was soft and Yuuri could practically hear him smirking. He didn’t move at first, not wanting Viktor to have his suspicion confirmed. It didn’t have anything to do with how much he was enjoying the gentle touches. That was just a happy bonus. As if sensing his thoughts, Viktor chuckled, and suddenly Yuuri felt the weight of the other man sprawled on top of him, “Yuuri… you can’t fool me, I know what you’re like when you’re asleep.”

He knew there was no point in trying to pretend, not when Viktor was like this. He’d just keep messing with him until he admitted he was still awake. Reluctantly, Yuuri turned over to lay on his back. Viktor shifted his weight so that he could stay over Yuuri even as he turned and suddenly Yuuri was a dakimakura for his Russian idol. He looked down at his chest where Viktor was resting his head, though his eyes were focused on his face. Viktor’s fingers were tracing circles along Yuuri’s side as he watched him, “Your hair’s cold, have you been outside?”

Yuuri didn’t want to tell Viktor that he’d been out for a few hours, trying to forget all the thoughts that were running through his head, but Viktor was observant, and he was a terrible liar. Without thinking, he brushed a hand through his hair, realising that Viktor was right, he was still cold from the night air, “Oh uh... Yeah, I just wanted to get some fresh air. Don’t worry, I wasn’t out for long.”

Viktor watched him carefully, and Yuuri really wanted to know what he was thinking. Viktor had always been difficult to read. He wasn’t sure how. Maybe it was just something he’d learned after years of being in the spotlight. After a while he’d want to hide himself away from prying eyes. That just made sense. Besides, Viktor did always enjoy surprising people. After a long pause, Viktor nodded, tapping his finger against Yuuri’s chest, “You’re not usually awake before I am.”

He’d probably be a little uncomfortable if he wasn’t so used to Viktor’s affection. He was always like this, it was just another part of who he was that the press never prepared him for. Yuuri nodded hesitantly as he watched Viktor, noticing that his hair was a little ruffled from sleeping. It still looked good, though. Viktor always looked good, “I guess I was having trouble sleeping.”

Viktor frowned, shifting himself closer until their chests were pressed together and their faces were almost touching. He tilted his head as he watched Yuuri curiously, his silvery bangs falling to the side as he did, “You haven’t slept at all, have you?”

“Wh-What? Of course I have!” Yuuri was a terrible liar at the best of times. It was even more difficult when there were a pair of mesmerising blue eyes staring into his. It was like Viktor was just as curious about what he was thinking as Yuuri was about him.

Viktor smiled brightly, gently patting Yuuri’s chest, “You can take a nap. We don’t have to be at Shǒudū until later.”

“But Viktor—”

He was quickly cut off as the Russian sat up, still hovering over him, “I used to sleep right up until competitions all the time. It can be good, trust me.”

Viktor was shifting his weight to move away from Yuuri and give him some space. Without thinking, the man beneath him reached out, gripping his arm to stop him. The move caught Viktor off guard as the pair of them stayed still, staring into each other’s eyes.

Yuuri had a head filled with self-doubt and confusion. He couldn’t get the thoughts to go away, the fear of letting down the people he cared about, the fear of Viktor leaving, the fear of the emotions that he couldn’t begin to understand that were beginning to surface within him. The only thing he understood was that Viktor’s presence made all his doubts fade away. When Viktor was close to him, his mind was clear. It was as though he was gliding effortlessly along the ice the way he did in practices, but instead, he was looking into Viktor’s eyes, or listening to his melodious laughter. Viktor was his remedy, and he needed him now more than ever. “Can you… can you maybe stay…? Just for a little while.”

Viktor raised an eyebrow as he watched Yuuri and suddenly he wasn’t so sure asking him to stay was such a good idea, “You want me here…in your bed?”

“You don’t have to make a big deal out of it…” Yuuri didn’t want to admit how much he needed Viktor. Not now. Viktor already knew he was a weak person. He didn’t need to know just how week he really was. It seemed to be enough to get Viktor to let it go, though. Instead, Viktor was shifting his weight until he was resting his head on Yuuri’s chest again, closing his eyes.

The room was filled with silence after that. It seemed that though Viktor had seemed so full of energy, he was able to go right back to sleeping if he really wanted to. Yuuri had to admit he was a little jealous of that talent. Falling asleep always felt like such a process. He’d never understand how people were able to fall asleep the moment their heads hit their pillows. Yuuri looked down at Viktor laying over him, wondering what he was supposed to do. His presence made Yuuri’s skating worries fade away, but it was only because his mind was so filled with thoughts of what his feelings were doing when it came to his idol. If only he wasn’t a fan. He didn’t want his fanatic obsession with his idol to get in the way of the friendship he’d come to cherish.

“Viktor…?” Yuuri spoke softly, unsure of whether the man above him had fallen asleep again.

“Hm?”

Without thinking, Yuuri was moving a hand to rest against Viktor’s back, keeping him in place. It was almost as though he was afraid his question would scare Viktor away, that he would leave the moment his next words left his lips, “When the Grand Prix is over… what are you going to do?”

He seemed to think about the question for a moment, “I don’t know, Yuuri. I won’t know until it’s over. My career is part of the deal, remember?”

That made sense, but it wasn’t exactly the answer Yuuri was looking for. He didn’t really think about it like that. It hadn’t truly sunk in that Viktor’s entire future was resting on how well Yuuri did in the Grand Prix Circuit. That wasn’t something he wanted to think about, the nerves were already bad enough as it was. Looking up at the ceiling, Yuuri sighed softly, “Will you go back to Russia?”

“Maybe. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from home.”

Yuuri frowned, listening to Viktor’s soft voice, “Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes.” The Russian admitted, shifting himself until he was comfortable atop Yuuri, “Mostly I think about the places I could show you in St. Petersburg. I used to take Makkachin to a beach there all the time. It was so peaceful. The seagulls back in Hasetsu reminded me of home.” He paused in thought, “The whole city lights up at night. Like stars. I got pretty used to it, but I think you’d like it.”

Yuuri had been to Russia only once. He’d stayed there for the Rostelecom Cup, and for the Sochi Grand Prix Final. It hadn’t exactly been a wonderful experience, but that had nothing to do with Russia itself. He never really took the time to look around while he was there. Yuuri lived in his head so much, he never paid much attention to anything beyond it before Viktor came along. He wanted to see Russia through Viktor’s eyes, to understand his home and all the things that were so precious to him. It was the same feeling he wanted Viktor to understand he felt for Hasetsu. Listening to Viktor talk about his home, Yuuri knew that he had to be at least a little bit homesick. But. Was that an invitation?

“Do you… want me to come back to Russia with you?” The question hung in the air, met with silence. Maybe Yuuri had gone too far. Maybe he’d overstepped his boundaries. Of course, that wasn’t what Viktor meant. They’d have to go back to Russia for the Rostelecom Cup. That’s what he was talking about. It wasn’t about what came after the Grand Prix at all. Viktor was just thinking about the next stop on their journey. He didn’t know why he was jumping to wild conclusions. Maybe he was just desperate to keep Viktor in his life, he’d do whatever it took. When the silence hung in the air for too long, Yuuri glanced down at the man on his chest, and it was then he understood the silence.

Viktor was peacefully sleeping, no doubt dreaming of the place he calls home.

* * *

 

Though Viktor had insisted on the nap, Yuuri hadn’t gotten any sleep. He didn’t know why he thought having Viktor there with him would make it easier, really. It took one train of thought away and replaced it with another. Yuuri couldn’t win. He was tired, but he couldn’t sleep. He was nervous, shaking, but he couldn’t let his nerves effect his performance. Viktor believed in him, that much was clear. The way he talked about showing Yuuri around Russia only proved it. Viktor was so sure he was going to qualify for the Rostelecom Cup, and Yuuri couldn’t let him down. He had to do this. If only his nerves would stop screaming _you can’t_.

The practice had started out alright with Yuuri attempting to calm his nerves with his favourite gentle skate. It was starting to work, too. He didn’t feel so much like there were so many people watching him. When he moved slowly but gracefully along the ice, it made all the fears slowly fade away, but he knew that there wasn’t enough time in the practice to take the nerves away for good, and he knew that there was too much time between now and his own skate for it to maintain it’s effect. The final nail in the coffin was Yuuri’s attempt at a jump. Hitting the ice with a loud thud, he groaned softly, taking a moment to get to his feet. He had to stop thinking so much. He was going to completely ruin this for himself and for Viktor. He couldn’t afford to ruin this. It wasn’t about him anymore. It was about his friends, his family, Viktor… He had to do well. He had to make it onto the podium.

As Yuuri made his way off the ice, he kept his head down, avoiding Viktor’s gaze. He didn’t want pity. Worse, he was afraid he might see a hint of doubt in his eyes. Even if he didn’t believe in himself, Viktor believed in him. That’s what he kept telling himself. He didn’t need to believe in himself. If his idol, arguably the greatest skater in the world thought he could do this, then he could. It was just that simple. And yet, as Guang Hong took the ice, Yuuri was reminded that all those other skaters were gunning for him, they wanted his place. They were focused on beating _him_.

Yuuri knew he was supposed to be doing his stretches, preparing for his time on the ice, but instead, he was focused on the TV showing him Guang Hong’s performance. The music was very different from his short program, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He moved well to the music, and you could see he was telling a story as he moved across the ice. His artistry was something special. He was sure that with time, Guang Hong could be a force to be reckoned with on the ice.

A moment passed, and he was landing a quadruple toe loop. Yuuri could see that it was over rotated, and he’d lose marks for execution, but he had landed it, and continued moving on the ice. Another moment later, he was landing a flawless triple axel, single loop, triple salchow combination. Yuuri had to drag his eyes away from the TV, knowing that watching wasn’t helping. Not at all. He was so nervous and seeing Guang Hong perform only made the knots in his stomach tighten. They weren’t holding anything back. They wanted to win so badly, and they were going to fight for it. He should’ve expected that, but he wasn’t used to that determination being aimed at him. All of them wanted to beat him. They all wanted him to fail in their own way.

Pacing the corridor, Yuuri thought that maybe just keeping himself moving would be enough to calm him down. That’s why he went for those long runs. Though the run from that morning hadn’t exactly made things any easier. He just needed to stop thinking about it. That’s all that it was. He needed to stop focusing on everyone else, and skate like he did during practice. There was no one else there. No other skaters. No one watching. It was just like any other practice. Yeah. That’s all it was.

_“Guang Hong Ji has earned in the free skate… 168.82. He is currently in first place.”_

The announcement came over the loudspeaker in the venue, and all the fears and insecurities came flooding back. Well, not exactly. They hadn’t disappeared to begin with. Not completely. Yuuri was standing in a corner, shaking as he heard the announcement that Chris Giacometti was next on the ice. He could hear the people around him talking, excited to watch the performers, excited whenever they landed a jump. They were all talking over each other until it was just noise; the sound of excited press. He was becoming familiar with that sound. Not because he was particularly popular, just because of all the time he’d spent with their champion skater. Every time they saw Viktor, they were flocking to his side. Yuuri was too distracted with his own thoughts to pay any attention to them, though. He was lost in his fears. The nerves were bad that morning, but he hadn’t realised just how scared he was until that moment.

Maybe it was the announcement. Maybe he just needed to drown out the sound. Putting his ear plugs in, Yuuri used the nearby wall to attempt some of his stretches. He needed to be ready. No matter how scared he was, he had to prepare himself for his skate. He couldn’t avoid it forever, and he couldn’t let something as simple as forgetting to stretch hold him back. Still, his legs were shaky. He performed here just the day before. Why was it like this now? Maybe because they expected a nobody yesterday, and today he was the one to beat. Yuuri didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he was missing being the nobody. Sometimes it was easier to be the loser. No one expects anything from the one who fails.

Yuuri was broken from his thoughts as he felt a tug on his arm, looking up to see Viktor. He was being pulled away from the room before he could really understand what was going on, but he understood why. Viktor was worried about him. He didn’t blame him, either. He was a mess. Yuuri didn’t know where they were going, but he wasn’t one to question Viktor’s actions. Not usually, at least. There was a voice in his head that told him everything Viktor did was for his benefit, that he knew what was best for Yuuri. Maybe that wasn’t entirely true. Viktor could be clueless. He could say stupid things, he could act without thinking. There had been plenty of times when Yuuri had told Viktor to just stop. But that didn’t matter in the moment. In the moment, Yuuri was a mess, and Viktor was his lifeline.

Once Viktor let go of his arm, Yuuri realised they were in an empty parking lot, devoid of people. Viktor had spent so much time with him over the last few months. He seemed to know Yuuri better than Yuuri knew himself. He knew that what Yuuri needed was space. He needed quiet, he needed to be able to breathe. Viktor rested his hands on Yuuri’s shoulders, looking into his eyes and Yuuri took it as a sign to take out his ear plugs.

“Look at me.” Viktor instructed, his voice soft and reassuring.

Yuuri really didn’t know why Viktor had instructed him to do that, his eyes were already locked on the taller man before him, and there was no way he could possibly look away. Viktor’s eyes were one of the most beautiful things about him, and being so close to him, hearing his soothing voice, seeing the kindness in those eyes, he didn’t want to look away.

“Take a deep breath,” Viktor kept his voice quiet. He didn’t need to speak up, the room around them was silent. If Viktor raised his voice, it would echo throughout the parking lot, and it seemed like Viktor was just as determined to keep this moment to them as Yuuri was. Viktor watched as Yuuri took in a deep breath, smiling, “Now let it out slowly.”

Yuuri kept his eyes focused on the shimmering blue ones looking back at him as he let out the breath. His nerves weren’t gone, but they weren’t nearly as bad as they had been moments ago. This was what he needed. Space. Time. Silence. Viktor.

“Better?” Viktor asked after a moment, finally dropping his hands from Yuuri’s shoulders.

He nodded hesitantly, “A little.”

Viktor smiled, “You think you can tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

The question came as a surprise, and Yuuri looked down at his feet, avoiding Viktor’s gaze. Viktor had been in the spotlight for so long now, had been the champion for so long, Yuuri doubted he ever felt the nerves that he was feeling now. Viktor was a champion on and off the ice. He was so passionate, filled with so much determination. There was no way Viktor Nikiforov would let nerves get in the way of his performances. Yuuri shifted awkwardly on the spot, trying to find the right words, “I… I’ve never been… the one to beat. I was always the one at the back.”

Viktor stayed quiet for a moment. Yuuri really wished he could just know what Viktor was thinking. He was so hard to read. It was impossible to know what was going on in his head. It just added to the fear. Viktor would think he was pathetic, would realise that he was wasting all this time on a wimpy cry baby with no real talents, someone who is so hung up on his insecurities and his lack of confidence that he can’t even handle the slightest amount of success. Because Yuuri Katsuki wasn’t born to be a winner. He was sure that’s what it was. He was never meant to be in first place. He was the one who made others look good. Nothing more.

_“Phichit Chulanont’s score in the free program… 199.01. He is currently in first place.”_

The announcement broke Yuuri from his thoughts, his breath catching as he looked up at the loudspeaker. He’d missed his best friend’s skate. More than that, it had been an amazing score. He couldn’t possibly beat that. What had Phichit done to score so highly? Why had he let his nerves stop him from seeing his best friend’s skate?

But it wasn’t about that anymore. His head was so lost in the thought that he couldn’t do this, that there was no way he was going to be able to get on the podium, that this was the last day he’d have with Viktor and he was spending it in an empty parking lot. His heart was pounding as his mind played through all the ways this was going to go wrong. Viktor would never want to speak to him again after Yuuri disappoints him. Everyone would be reminded of the failure that he’d been back in Sochi. His past was going to come back to haunt him. Things had been so good for so long, it was only a matter of time before it came crumbling down around him, and Yuuri was sure that this was that moment.

“Yuuri!” Viktor’s voice broke through just enough to catch Yuuri’s attention, his hands back on his shoulders, trying to steady him.

It wasn’t working this time, though. Phichit had such a wonderful score, and he hadn’t even heard how well Chris had done. Leo was next, and he was a crowd pleaser. There were so many skaters here who deserved this more than he did. Why did he think he could do this? Why did he think he deserved Viktor Nikiforov’s attention?

“Hey, come on.” Viktor tried to get through to the shaking man before him, “You’re always saying you need me to help your nerves, so tell me what you need me to do and I’ll do it. Just like last time, right? You wanted me to watch, so I watched. You wanted me to stay, so I stayed.” He gently squeezed Yuuri’s shoulders, “Just tell me what you need.”

Viktor was a man of surprises. He had continued to surprise Yuuri ever since he was twelve years old. Viktor Nikiforov was a man of legends. He was perfection, a man that could do no wrong. But that wasn’t the man Yuuri knew. Viktor was clumsy, forgetful, he was absolutely terrible at reading a room. He said stupid things and got excited about something as simple as a bowl of rice. Viktor was not like the papers said, he was so much more, and he was standing in front of him, desperate to take away the pain. But how? How could Viktor make him stop shaking? How could Viktor make this stop?

Every time Yuuri had been in Viktor’s arms, his thoughts had melted away to nothing but the Russian man in front of him. The warmth of his touch, the reassuring smell of his cologne. Viktor himself was the cure for Yuuri’s anxiety. Viktor was what he needed. When Yuuri really thought about it like that, the answer seemed so simple. The fears and doubts were still racing through his mind, telling him that this would be the last time he’d see Viktor before he was heading on a plane back to Russia, and Yuuri was so desperate to make it stop. Without thinking, he was tugging Viktor closer.

He just wanted a hug. Every time Viktor hugged him, things were okay. Just a hug. Yuuri told himself over and over again that that was all he needed. But what he thought he needed, and what he felt and wanted were too different things. Just a hug. It was just supposed to be a hug.

Yuuri’s hands were fisted into the front of Viktor’s coat, keeping him in place as the simple hug Yuuri had intended instead became a desperate need for contact, their lips crashing together. If he had more control over himself, he’d be screaming that this wasn’t what he was supposed to be doing, that this was wrong, and that he shouldn’t be doing this, but Yuuri was being fuelled by nothing but the need to make the fear go away and the desire to have Viktor as close as possible. All of this was mixed up with his confusion over his own emotions. Yuuri was drowning in uncertainty, clinging to Viktor like a life saver.

If there were sounds around them, Yuuri couldn’t hear it, focused on Viktor, on how it felt to have him that close. The adrenaline couldn’t last forever, though. His mind was screaming at him, telling him that he had to stop, that this was wrong. Yuuri finally realised exactly what it was he was doing. He was kissing his idol, the man who had been there for him for months on end. He was kissing Viktor Nikiforov, and if he was afraid of scaring Viktor away before, he knew for sure he’d done it now.

As quickly as he had pulled Viktor close, Yuuri was pushing him away, taking a step back as tears stung at his eyes. Viktor would hate him. He just threw himself at him. How could he have been so stupid? Taking a step back, Yuuri mumbled, looking away, “I’m sorry, I-I… I have to go…”

He knew he had to get away before Viktor could tell him how stupid he was being, that this was all wrong, that he should never have done that. Yuuri didn’t want to be one of those creepy fans who scared their idols. He didn’t want to do this to him, but there he was, forcing himself on him. Without a second thought, Yuuri was running away, desperate to hide from everything and everyone. Suddenly his lifeline seemed more like an anchor, dragging him into the depths of his despair. He had to get away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAANGGGSSSSTTT 
> 
> Was pretty intent on getting this written tonight, even though Yuuri's been determined to distract me because he didn't want me to. I'm half asleep right now so I'm sorry if the quality isn't quite as great, I'll try to up the quality for the next one. A lot of this chapter is Yuuri’s internal monologue, which is his self-doubt and insecurity spiraling through the same bad thoughts, so I apologise if it seems a little repetitive.
> 
> Also just a heads up, Shǒudū refers to the venue for the Cup of China. When held in Beijing, the venue is Shǒudū tǐyùguǎn, also known as the Capital Indoor Stadium.


	10. Chapter 10

There was nothing that made life interesting quite like a surprise did. A surprise could flip someone’s world upside down. It could change everything. There was nothing stronger than a surprise. When Viktor was younger, he didn’t think much of surprises. He told himself that having routine was important if he wanted to achieve his goals, and maybe there was some truth to that. As he got older, though, he quickly learned that no matter how successful you became, things would become stagnant, and dull, unless you went out of your way to make it interesting. Somewhere along the way, Viktor decided that as much as he needed a routine for success, he needed to keep both himself and the public on their toes just as much. He kept routine with his practices, but everything else about his life became spontaneous. He didn’t know what his plans would be from one week to the next. He didn’t know which country he’d find himself in, the kinds of people he’d meet, the things he’d do. Life stopped being dull and became an adventure.

The only problem with his life of spontaneity and surprises, was that there were really only so many ways you could surprise people. After a while, he had learned all the tricks in the books, he had tried so many different musical genres for his programs, he had attempted everything. There was nothing left that he could do to surprise them. The only surprise would be to fail, and he couldn’t possibly let that happen. Viktor’s final surprise for the world was retiring. He could say for certain that his entire career had kept people on their toes, had been exciting for his fans, and for himself. It didn’t mean leaving the ice. It just meant leaving competition. But life had a way of throwing its own little surprises at you. For Viktor, that was Yuuri Katsuki.

Viktor had met a lot of people during his career, but Yuuri was filled with surprises. From the very first time he saw the timid skater on the ice, right up until that moment, standing together in the parking lot. Yuuri had shown Viktor so many things he never thought he’d see, made Viktor feel things he never thought he would feel. And as Yuuri was crashing their lips together, Viktor’s mind went blank. He’d tried. So many times, he’d tried to kiss Yuuri, to find the perfect moment to do it. He’d thought about it the day they met in Hasetsu, but it didn’t seem like the right moment. He’d been interrupted by the Russian punk when he arrived insisting on training, and again when Yuuri had landed his quads. When Yuuri had called his eyes pretty, he really wanted to just throw caution to the wind and kiss him, but he knew the younger skater was hurting. It wouldn’t have been right. And then Yuuri’s alarm had gotten in the way the next morning. He was starting to believe the world was determined to stop him making a move, but Viktor Nikiforov didn’t back down from a challenge, and he always got what he wanted. He just hadn’t expected to get it quite like this.

Once again, Yuuri Katsuki had thrown him for a loop. Viktor wasn’t even sure Yuuri was interested in him, and the kiss hadn’t exactly cleared it up. Yuuri was a mess, anyone could see how badly the nerves were affecting him. Viktor didn’t know whether he really wanted the kiss, or if it was just some reaction to his nerves. It wasn’t clear. Yuuri was hard to read, he hid his feelings. But it didn’t mean Viktor would regret it. He’d waited so long for that moment, he just had hoped it would’ve been a bit happier. It took a few moments for him to come to his senses and realises what had just happened. Yuuri was gone. He ran. That was what Yuuri always did when things got scary, he ran. And Viktor was supposed to be his safety net.

Once his brain had finally caught up with him, Viktor was rushing out of the parking lot. It would’ve been nice to turn a corner and find Yuuri. It would’ve made things so much easier if Yuuri was just there, within reach. He could reassure him, tell him that everything was okay. Viktor didn’t care. The kiss wouldn’t change anything. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He’d waited so long for it and he absolutely did care, but it wouldn’t make anything bad between them. Viktor was an affectionate person by nature, it was just shocking for Yuuri to make any kind of move. And then it hit him. Yuuri didn’t want this at all, did he? That was why he ran. Because this wasn’t what he wanted, and he had acted without thinking. Viktor was so used to people fawning all over him, wanting to give him everything his heart desired, the idea that Yuuri didn’t feel the world pulling them together in the same way he did hadn’t even crossed his mind. How could Yuuri not feel it? It felt so obvious to Viktor, more obvious than anything he’d ever felt before. But Viktor couldn’t afford to think about it. Not right now. He had to find Yuuri and make sure he was okay before his skate.

Georgi was already in the middle of his free skate as Viktor was searching for Yuuri. The skate would be over soon, and then it would be Yuuri’s turn. He had to find him fast. Noticing that Georgi had fallen as he attempted his quad salchow, Viktor focused his attention on finding any isolated spots someone could use to hide away. He was sure that if he was going to find Yuuri, he’d be somewhere away from prying eyes, hiding from the world. Yuuri didn’t handle pressure well. That much had become obvious, and when things got too difficult, he ran, he hid, and Viktor had to find him before he beat himself up too much about things.

He heard the applause of the crowd nearby as Georgi’s performance came to an end, and panic began to set in. Where was Yuuri? He didn’t have any time left, it was his turn to skate, he needed to be there. Looking frantically around the room, Viktor noticed a familiar face standing by the TVs, watching the performances. Phichit. If anyone would know where to find Yuuri, it had to be him, right? After all, they were best friends. Without a second thought, Viktor rushed to Phichit, quickly turning him to face him, “Have you seen Yuuri?”

Phichit looked surprised and confused, slowly turning back to the screen and pointing at it, “He’s on the ice. Did something happen? He doesn’t look so good.”

Viktor followed Phichit’s gaze, looking to the screen in front of them and sure enough, there was Yuuri beginning his program. He frowned. Even on the screen, he could see that Yuuri’s eyes were red, that he was a little shaky, that he didn’t look happy. Then he realised that Yuuri had occasionally glanced over to the side of the rink. Yuuri was looking for him. He promised Yuuri he’d watch him. Maybe it was only expected of him that one time, but Viktor had told himself he would always watch, and he wasn’t at the side of the rink. He wasn’t there and Yuuri felt lost, he was sure.

Viktor bolted out of the room, heading straight towards the rink, intent on being there for Yuuri. By the time he got there, he’d missed most of Yuuri’s step sequence, but he was there now. He refused to miss anything else. Viktor’s eyes were locked on the man gliding along the ice. It was a different performance from every other time he’d seen Yuuri skating this program. The music remained unchanged, the steps were all the way they’d created them. Together. The difference was Yuuri himself. There was a different emotion being conveyed in Yuuri’s movements. As he landed a combination quadruple toe loop, single toe loop, Viktor couldn’t help but think maybe he’d caught a glimpse of something. Tears? Yuuri was clearly trying his best to keep his emotions in check, but he couldn’t hide them. Not in his performance.

There were mistakes. A lot of them. Yuuri’s combination was supposed to have a double toe, not a single. His second was a quad salchow. He landed it, but it was sloppy at best. He’d lose points on the execution. It didn’t matter, though. Yuuri’s performances were so much more than his jumps. It was the artistry. Viktor could almost feel what Yuuri was feeling as he landed a triple toe loop on two feet. Another loss of points. Yuuri seemed to have his eyes closed now, focusing on the music, moving to the sound as if the program was nothing more than muscle memory. This felt like so much more than a competition. Yuuri was skating his sadness, his fears, his overwhelming, crushing anxiety. No one could look away. Viktor was watching what he could only describe as a beautiful disaster on the ice. A man filled with so much potential who was being crippled by his fears.

Yuuri landed his next jump, a triple axel. This time, it was flawless. Viktor found himself leaning closer as he rested his arms against the barrier, watching Yuuri’s every move. He was silently urging him to keep going, wishing he could reassure him, tell him that all his fears couldn’t stop him, that he was stronger than them. His hand touched the ice as he landed his triple flip, but he kept going. His combination triple axel, single toe, triple salchow was flawless as he moved along the ice, followed by his triple lutz, triple toe, and though the faults reminded Viktor of Sochi, this was something new. This wasn’t just nerves. He couldn’t shake this feeling of despair. What was eating at Yuuri like this? A single kiss couldn’t possibly make someone so upset, could it? Did it really hurt him this much? As Yuuri moved onto his step sequence, he was back into familiar territory. His step sequences were always so beautiful. They allowed him to truly express his artistry on the ice.

Yuuri was telling a story of isolation. That was the only thing Viktor could see in his movement, his facial expression, his subtle uncertainty. He felt alone. Did he think Viktor would leave? Because if he did, Viktor would shout from the rooftops that there was no where in the world he’d rather be than by his side. If that’s what Yuuri needed to be told, he’d say it a million times over and mean it more with each assurance. It was as though Yuuri read his mind at that moment, his gaze moving to meet Viktor’s. The Russian didn’t move, just kept watching, wanting to understand exactly what Yuuri was showing him. And sadly, just as quickly as the step sequence had begun, it was over. He only had one jump left. The whole audience watched with bated breath as Yuuri attempted his final jump, the quad toe loop. It was close to perfect, but Yuuri’s hand touched the ice.

As the performance came to an end, Viktor realised there were tears in his eyes. The silence in the room remained for only a moment before the crowd was roaring with applause. It wasn’t a perfect performance. Not even close. But it was the most soulful performance Viktor had ever seen.  It was a reminder of exactly what Viktor had seen in Yuuri back then, but there was so much more. Yuuri Katsuki really was full of surprises. He realised after a long moment that he had been stuck in place, watching Yuuri as he made his way to the kiss and cry. He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes before heading over to him. Viktor couldn’t be sure if Yuuri wanted him to be there, but he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Yuuri alone. Not now. Not after seeing that performance. Without thinking, he was sitting beside Yuuri, keeping as close as he could. Surprisingly, Yuuri wasn’t moving away.

_“Yuuri Katsuki has earned in the free skate… 164.79 making his total 271.63. He is currently in third place.”_

* * *

 

The trip back to their hotel room was quiet, and maybe just a little bit awkward. Viktor was thankful they had gotten a place so close to the venue. Watching as Yuuri dropped his bag by the door and slowly moved into the room in silence, Viktor knew he couldn’t leave things like this. They needed to talk about what had happened. He just had no idea where to begin. He didn’t know what Yuuri was thinking, and he didn’t want to scare him away. Still, Yuuri wasn’t going to make the first move to talk. That much was clear.

Viktor hesitantly took a step towards Yuuri, keeping his voice gentle, “You know, you never did say what you were going to say back at the restaurant when Phichit interrupted you.”

It was a simple start. It wasn’t about the kiss, but maybe it would at least loosen Yuuri up enough to talk. The man across the room was staring out the window, and Viktor would’ve thought he hadn’t heard him at all if it weren’t for his response, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Viktor took another tentative step towards Yuuri, “Okay…” He sighed softly, brushing a hand through his hair as he looked around the room, silently wishing there was some answer to this problem, “Look, we’re either going to talk about that or the parking lot. It’s up to you.”

“That’s not fair.” Yuuri finally turned to face him, though his eyes were on the ground between them.

“Neither is running away.” Viktor didn’t want to be harsh. He didn’t want to upset Yuuri even more, he just wanted some answers. He wanted to understand why Yuuri was hurting so much. There was no way he could help if he didn’t see what was going on.

Yuuri stared at his hands as he wrung his fingers together nervously, clearly trying to find the words that could make it all better, “I… I’m sorry, okay? I-I don’t know why I did it, it just happened, it doesn’t have to mean anything…”

Viktor smiled reassuringly, trying to ignore the hurt he was feeling at the statement. Yuuri was talking. It was progress. He didn’t have to like the things Yuuri was saying. This wasn’t about him, it was about making Yuuri feel better. “Can I be a little selfish and ask what you’re thinking?” He needed to know. Yuuri didn’t have to like him, he didn’t have to want anything to do with him. Viktor just wanted to understand. Yuuri quickly looked up at Viktor, clearly scared to say much of anything on the topic. Viktor held up his hands, trying to reassure him, “It’s just me. You can say whatever you want, I won’t judge you.”

Yuuri seemed to accept that, sitting down on the edge of the nearest bed and looking down at his hands as he spoke, “You’re the reason I started skating. I always told myself that one day I’d be good enough to skate on the same ice as you. Everything I do… it’s to be the kind of skater that would make Viktor Nikiforov proud.” Viktor stayed quiet as he listened to Yuuri. It wasn’t a story he hadn’t heard before. Yuuri wasn’t the only one who had felt that way about him. He’d heard it many times before from fans, from rivals, from all kinds of people. It didn’t explain why Yuuri was hurting, though.

“When you came to Hasetsu… I didn’t know why you were there or what I was supposed to do. And then we started spending all this time together…” Yuuri worried his lower lip between his teeth as he tried to come up with the right words, “My… my heart…beats so hard when you’re around. But you make the voice in my head that tells me I’m a failure go away. I don’t know what’s going on with me.” He took a shaky breath, “I don’t want to be one of those weird fans who dreams about you and makes you uncomfortable! I don’t want to scare you away.”

Suddenly it was all starting to make sense to Viktor. This wasn’t even about the feelings, because Yuuri wasn’t letting himself think about the feelings. He was so focused on the pedestal he’d put Viktor on, he couldn’t look beyond it. Finally working up the courage to cross the room, Viktor sat down beside Yuuri on the bed, keeping his voice soft. He didn’t want to push Yuuri, he just wanted to help him figure this out, “How about… you stop thinking about me as ‘Viktor Nikiforov’ and think about me as Viktor. Forget about the skating. Forget about the medals and the news headlines, and whatever else is getting in the way. Just think about everything from the day I arrived in Hasetsu.” He watched Yuuri curiously, “And now tell me how you’re feeling.”

Yuuri seemed to think about it for a moment. It was a good start at least. Yuuri was trying. He didn’t care if Yuuri said he didn’t want anything to do with this. Sure, it’d hurt like hell, but he’d get passed it. What mattered was that Yuuri was okay. “Well… you make me laugh. You say really nice things, and you’re so clumsy sometimes. It’s kind of surprising really, since you’re so graceful on ice.”

Viktor cleared his throat, “I uh, I think maybe we’re getting off topic. I want to know about your feelings, not about me.”

He was trying not to think about just how embarrassing it was that Yuuri thought he was clumsy, though he didn’t feel quite so bad when he saw the blush rising on the other man’s cheeks, “Oh right, sorry. Um. I guess… When you hug me, I feel warm, and safe. And when you touch my skin… it kind of tingles…”

Viktor shifted closer without thinking, just wanting to share the space with him. His words were encouraging. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but it certainly sounded nice to hear Yuuri say things like that. The dark-haired man beside him looked up, their eyes meeting, and suddenly Viktor was realising just how close he’d gotten to Yuuri. He couldn’t possibly move away, though. Yuuri’s bronze eyes were so close, so warm and glimmering with emotions. Viktor could only speculate exactly what those feelings were, but it felt good to be this close. They’d been like this so many times before, and every time, something had interrupted them. He couldn’t help but be a little afraid something would happen again, “Anything else?”

“You have really pretty eyes…” Yuuri’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Viktor couldn’t help but laugh, “You’ve said that before, you know?”

“It’s still true.”

All he could do was raise an eyebrow at that. Yuuri was being a little bolder and Viktor couldn’t quite figure out why. Did he realise how he was feeling? Had he worked it out? Yuuri Katsuki was full of surprises, but Viktor was, too. As much as he enjoyed having a life of surprises, he enjoyed surprising the people around him even more, and even if he didn’t, he knew that after all this time, he really couldn’t resist the adorable, anxious man in front of him anymore. Viktor reached out, running his thumb against Yuuri’s cheek as he leaned closer, brushing a delicate kiss against his lips, letting his own linger for a moment. It wasn’t much more than a touch, but it was different to the desperation of the parking lot. It was a kiss filled with care and a hint of uncertainty. He didn’t know what Yuuri wanted. He didn’t know if he was pushing boundaries he shouldn’t be pushing.

Reluctantly, Viktor pulled away just enough to look into Yuuri’s eyes, hoping he’d be able to see what he was feeling. His eyes were so wide, so shocked, and Viktor was once again fearing that he’d gone too far, looking away, “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you before I did that…”

“No!” Yuuri blushed, realising that he’d spoken a lot louder than he’d intended, “No, I… It’s okay.”

He watched as Yuuri seemed to be lost in thought, wondering what he was thinking, but not wanting to push him. Viktor tilted his head, his hair shifting from his eyes as he did, “Are you sure?”

Yuuri nodded hesitantly, “I just think you should know… I’m not the guy you met at the banquet. That’s not me. And I get that you met that person and made that deal, but that’s not me.”

Viktor chuckled, shaking his head. He didn’t know why Yuuri worried about so many things. It just didn’t make any sense to him for someone to worry this much. “I first noticed you during your skate in Sochi.” He heard Yuuri’s groan, but kept talking, “I remember thinking about how you moved. Maybe you were nervous, but you had so much potential. Then at the banquet, you were fun, but that was just one side of you. Coming to Hasetsu, spending all this time with you… it’s you, Yuuri. _You_ are what I’m drawn to.”

“Viktor…”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to know how you were feeling, and to tell you that it was okay. I’d never hold something like this against you. Especially since I’ve been trying to find the right time to kiss you since we started training together.” Viktor might’ve been rambling, in fact he was pretty sure he was. Was the room getting warmer? He wasn’t sure, but he was suddenly feeling very vulnerable. He’d put himself out there, Yuuri knew the truth now. There was nothing else he could do. He wouldn’t push Yuuri any further. Now he knew that Yuuri was okay, that was all that mattered.

Life liked to deliver surprises at the most interesting of moments. Yuuri Katsuki was the biggest surprise of all. Viktor didn’t have a chance to think much more about the crazy day he was having, the familiar feeling of Yuuri pulling him closer quickly silencing any of those thoughts. Yuuri’s lips on his were soft and warm, and for all the times he’d thought about the possibilities of something magical like this happening, it couldn’t possibly compare to the real deal, to feeling Yuuri’s fingers tangling in his hair as he held him close, desperate for each other’s touch. It was a kiss that conveyed so much. All the time they’d wasted, all the feelings they’d been keeping pent up inside, the need to protect and care for each other. It was a kiss that laid their hearts on the line, but neither of them seemed to care.

Though the kiss seemed to last a lifetime, it ended far too soon for Viktor’s liking. Their heads rested together, and Viktor let out a shaky breath, “What was that for?”

“Do I need a reason?”

He chuckled, brushing his hand over Yuuri’s arm as he felt the need for contact, “I guess not.”

“Stay close to me tonight. Please. I’m still trying to figure these feelings out, but I like having you near me.”

“Anything you want, Yuuri.” He smiled reassuringly and without a second thought, Viktor found himself pulling Yuuri up to lay comfortably on the bed, resting his head on the pillows as he nestled himself beside the younger man. There were still some questions. He didn’t know exactly what Yuuri wanted, and he wasn’t sure Yuuri knew either, but they’d made progress. Viktor was determined to never see Yuuri as hurt as he had that day ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to finish writing this tomorrow but Viktor was like 'NO YOU FINISH THIS RIGHT NOW' so. That's a thing. Also for those curious, the results for the Cup of China are as follows:
> 
> 1st: Phichit Chulanont - SP: 86.75, FS: 199.01, Total: 285.76  
> 2nd: Christophe Giacometti - SP: 85.6, FS: 198.21, Total: 283.81  
> 3rd: Yuuri Katsuki - SP: 106.84, FS: 164.79, Total: 271.63  
> 4th: Georgi Popovich - SP: 98.17, FS: 154.27, Total: 252.44  
> 5th: Guang Hong Ji - SP: 79.87, FS: 168.82, Total: 248.69  
> 6th: Leo de la Iglesia - SP: 87.98, FS: 159.23, Total: 247.21


	11. Chapter 11

There had only been a week between the Cup of China and the Rostelecom Cup. The time had gone by so quickly and suddenly it was the night before the next competition began. He would have to perform his short program tomorrow. Yuuri was a lot more relaxed about it than he expected to be. It might have had something to do with the way things had been with Viktor since Beijing. It wasn’t that their relationship had really changed. They still talked to each other just the same, spent the same amount of time together (though it was almost impossible for them to spend more time together than they already did). The only difference was that Viktor’s touches lingered, they’d steal kisses, little moments together that were all theirs. Yuuri hadn’t known what he was feeling for Viktor. He hadn’t let himself truly consider what it was before, but as time went by, he realized how important he was to him. He realized that Viktor was the person he thought of before he fell asleep at night, that when he was excited about something, it was Viktor he wanted to tell. When the Russian entered the room, Yuuri’s heart would race and he’d feel the pull, the need to be close to him. When Viktor wasn’t around, things felt stale. Yuuri didn’t realise until now just how significant Viktor really was to him; not just as an idol, but as a person.

Their current position was one Yuuri had gotten used to after the last week. Laying on the bed with Viktor beside him, slender fingers brushing absentmindedly through his hair as he stared up at the ceiling. There hadn’t been many days they hadn’t shared the same bed since Beijing. It wasn’t about touch, Yuuri just felt comfortable when they were close. He slept better like that. It wasn’t something he could quite explain, but Viktor never seemed to mind. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” Viktor’s voice filled the silence in the room, causing Yuuri to glance up at him.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He couldn’t say he was completely ready. No one could be completely prepared. Or maybe they could, but Yuuri wasn’t sure how. Mentally, there were always things to think about, he could never prepare for everything that could possibly happen. He sighed softly, “There’s just one thing, I guess. There’s going to be a lot of press, right?” The further into the circuit they got, he knew there were going to be more and more press and he was never very good at dealing with them.

Viktor hummed softly, “It’s fine. I can distract them for you. They always want to talk to me anyway. And don’t worry, I won’t go telling them anything about us. You can just focus on the skate.”

Yuuri frowned, “Us?”

The single word was enough to still Viktor’s fingers moving through his hair and Yuuri almost regretted saying anything at all. The touch had been so soothing. Viktor chuckled nervously, a sound he didn’t often hear from the older man, “You know what I mean.”

Sitting up but making no move to leave the bed, Yuuri tilted his head as he watched Viktor curiously. It wasn’t often that he saw Viktor get flustered. Usually it was the other way around, but he could see that Viktor was trying to find the right words, trying not to scare him, but with the silent promise of more if Yuuri wanted it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he raised an eyebrow, “So there’s an ‘us,’ huh?”

It was a sight Yuuri had never seen before, and most people probably believed it never happened, but there Viktor was; laying beside him, blushing. Viktor rubbed the back of his neck as he began to ramble out an excuse, “No, no. I mean, not if you don’t want there to be. It’s not like I’d be against it or anything, I just don’t want you to think that I—”

“Viktor.” Yuuri interrupted the train of thought Viktor had been rushing through, reaching a hand forward to brush against the Russian’s cheek, smiling fondly, “I’m just messing with you.”

Viktor leaned into Yuuri’s gentle touch, watching him carefully, “So… does that mean there _is_ an us?”

It was easy to tell that Viktor was trying not to sound hopeful. He didn’t want Yuuri to feel like he was being pushed into making a decision. Really, Viktor had been incredibly patient with him through all of this. Sure, they’d shared the occasional kiss and he was sure that was helping make the wait easier, but he knew that he could say that he didn’t want this, and it would crush him. Yuuri didn’t want that, though. Truthfully, he couldn’t imagine not having Viktor around after all this time. He needed Viktor with him, he enjoyed every second they shared together, and the little moments of intimacy they’d shared over the last week had only made things better. Yuuri rested his free hand against Viktor’s back, pulling him closer and lightly pressing their lips together, “If you want there to be.”

“Seriously?”

Viktor seemed so surprised, Yuuri couldn’t help but laugh, “What, do you think I’ve just been stringing you along?”

“No! No, I just thought you still needed time to think. Not that I’m complaining.”

Yuuri looked down at the space between them, reaching his hand to thread their fingers together. It was difficult for him to put his feelings into words that made sense. They didn’t even make sense to himself. Things hadn’t really changed between them. Viktor was still the same person, helping him train, laughing with him, telling him not to push himself so hard. Viktor wasn’t acting any differently. They didn’t suddenly agree on everything. It all just felt like a natural part of who they were. Looking down at their hands, Yuuri shrugged, “This last week has been amazing. I know things haven’t really been that different, but I’ve had a lot of time to think. My biggest fear these last few months has been failing because… it would mean you’d go home. I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t want to be away from you. I like falling asleep with you, and training with you, and being close to you, and everything else…”

Yuuri was sure he was blushing again, but he knew it was only fair to tell Viktor exactly what he was thinking. Viktor stayed silent, though. It made him nervous. Had he said too much? Was Viktor maybe not as interested as he thought he was? What if this was all some horrible joke? That would make sense. Why would Viktor Nikiforov want anything to do with someone like him? Looking up at the man in front of him, Yuuri saw Viktor’s heart shaped smile, his eyes seeming to sparkle and Yuuri wasn’t sure if his heart stopped beating or sped up at the sight of it. Viktor pounced on Yuuri, wrapping his arms tightly around him and nestling his face against his neck, “You’re better than any gold medal, Yuuri.”

Yuuri laughed, his arms instinctively wrapping around him, “You can’t say that, I’m spending all this time trying to get a gold medal for you.”

“I already know you’re full of potential. You don’t need to win gold to prove that to me.”

“You’re only saying that because you want to win that bet. I’m not giving up that easily.” He knew deep down that Viktor really did believe that, that Viktor wouldn’t be there with him if he didn’t see the potential, but he didn’t want that to let him become complacent. Even if he didn’t get gold, Viktor would believe in him, but their bet was still important to Yuuri, even if he didn’t remember making it. He needed Viktor to get back on the ice and skate competitively again. It didn’t make sense for Viktor not to be there. He’d give Viktor his dance regardless, he just needed him back on the ice.

Looking up at him, Viktor smiled and Yuuri was sure his eyes were sparkling, “You caught me.”

“There is just one thing.” Yuuri looked away for a moment, unsure of himself, “If it’s okay with you, could we maybe just keep this between us? Just until the Grand Prix Circuit is over.” It wasn’t that far away now. After Rostelecom, there was a month before the final, and that would be it. It wasn’t that Yuuri was ashamed, or even afraid of the press finding out about he and Viktor. He just didn’t want people to believe he was using him. Yuuri knew he had to use this time to show people that he had every right to be there, that he had gotten there with his own skills, and not by using Viktor’s influence. Once he had proven that, then the world could know, and it wouldn’t matter.

Viktor seemed to understand, leaning closer and pressing a kiss to the top of Yuuri’s head. It was strange how such a simple gesture could be enough to make Yuuri’s heart flutter. Maybe letting himself realise his feelings just made them that much stronger. He couldn’t be sure. Viktor’s voice broke him from his thoughts, “It’ll be our little secret.”

* * *

 

The last time Yuuri competed, the Rostelecom Cup was in Moscow. This year, it was set in Saint Petersburg, and it was an opportunity he didn’t realise he had been so excited for. They hadn’t exactly had a lot of time to explore the city, but they had a month between this and the finals and Yuuri desperately wanted to see all the parts of Viktor’s hometown through his eyes. He wanted to know about all the places Viktor loved, to see his eyes light up as he talked about fond memories. They didn’t have time for it now, of course, but he was going to ask Viktor to show him around once they did.

As they walked into the venue, it didn’t take long for Viktor to be hounded by press, though he never really seemed to mind. It was amazing how easily Viktor seemed to slip into talking to them, answering their questions, or dodging them just as easily. Yuuri knew he was going to have to deal with them later in the day, but at least it gave him a chance to get settled before it got to that point. He slipped passed the group, but it didn’t take long before he found himself in another loud hallway. This time, though, the shouting was coming from an enraged Italian skater clinging to his sister.

“Mickey, relax. I’m just making friends.” The girl wrapped up in his arms who Yuuri immediately recognised as Sara Crispino was doing her best to reassure him, but it didn’t seem to be working as he glared at the Czech skater, Emil Nekola.

“Don’t you ever lay a finger on my sister! You’re not man enough for her! The only one who can go near her is me, you get that!?”

“That doesn’t sound healthy, man. The girl can make some friends, can’t she?”

At that moment, it seemed that Sara noticed Yuuri’s presence, pealing herself away from her brother’s side and bounding over to him with a bright smile, “Hi, Yuuri. I saw your performance at the Cup of China. Your short program was wonderful!”

Yuuri looked away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “Oh uh. Thanks. It was nothing, really. Compared to all the programs you’ve performed, anyway.”

It was embarrassing to think that Sara Crispino had seen his performance in China. Not just because it was him skating, but he had made a complete failure of his free skate. Of course, he couldn’t really avoid it. They streamed all the competitions, and it would only be smart for her to watch her brother’s potential competitors. Sara didn’t seem to notice his nerves, though, lighting up as he mentioned her past performances, “You’re so humble, Yuuri. I hope you’ll watch my skate again this year!”

“Yeah, of course. I can’t wait to see it.” Yuuri was certainly not used to talking to other skaters. He had only ever really gotten close to Phichit and that was simply because they were training together. The last time he was at a competition, he avoided everyone, and they seemed to offer him the same treatment. This time, though, things seemed to be different. Maybe spending all this time with Viktor was bringing him out of his shell.

Yuuri glanced over Sara’s shoulder and saw Michele’s glare directed at him, knowing that if he didn’t get away from Sara soon, he’d be subjected to the same torture as Emil. It was a difficult situation, one he tried to avoid. If he was to pull himself away from the conversation with Sara, it would seem rude, but if he stayed, he’d get an earful from her brother.

It was as though his prayers were answered when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, though the sudden weight against him caused him to jump in surprise. Suddenly he was being guided passed the group as a Russian voice spoke beside him, “Excuse us, Piggy and I need to talk.”

“Yuri? Long time no see.” He couldn’t help but feel a little anxious with Yuri. He knew that the Russian punk was not nearly as bad as he made himself out to be, but he had a temper, and the fact that he wanted to talk was enough to make anyone worried. Still, Yuri had taken him out of that awkward situation, so he was grateful for at least that. It took him a moment to notice that Yuri was taking him to an empty part of the hallway, making sure that no one was around them. That just added to the fear that he’d done something wrong. But what could Yuri possibly be upset about? He’d been fine when he left Hasetsu.

Stopping in the middle of the hall, Yuri dropped his arm from his shoulders, turning to face him, “What happened in China?”

“Wh-What?” Yuuri stared wide eyed at the blond in front of him.

“I saw your free skate. It was pathetic. What happened, Piggy?” Yuri was pointing accusingly at him as he spoke, clearly frustrated.

“…Are you worried about me?”

Yuri scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “Don’t flatter yourself. Even in practices you never skated that badly. I helped you when you were stuck on that routine, so I want some answers.”

Yuuri was more than aware that this was just the young boy’s way, that he didn’t like people knowing whether he truly cared for them. Yuri was hard to read. He seemed to believe that people being able to tell how he really felt was a weakness that he couldn’t possibly allow to exist. As much as Yuuri wished he could get him to open up more, he knew the blond did open up in his own ways. It was just a rare sight. Yuuri did his best to smile reassuringly, “It’s fine. Viktor and I just had a bit of a disagreement, I guess. But that’s sorted now. We’re fine. I won’t skate like that again, you have my word.”

Yuri groaned, rolling his eyes, “I should’ve known it was something like that. You two are disgusting.” He stepped forward, poking Yuuri’s chest with his finger as he glared at him, “But I’m holding you to that, Katsudon. I don’t train with losers. If you’re not on that podium when they announce the winners, you’re dead to me.”

Just as quickly as Yuri had appeared, he was heading down the hallway and out of sight. It was a lot to think about, but no more pressure than Yuuri was already putting on himself. After the abysmal performance at the Cup of China, he had to rank third or higher here if he wanted to move onto the finals. Yuri was right, if he wasn’t on the podium for the Rostelecom Cup, he’d be a loser. He’d fail to get to the finals, and he’d lose his bet with Viktor. He couldn’t afford to become complacent just because things had gotten better between himself and his idol. So far, only two people had qualified. Christophe Giacometti, and Otabek Altin. Neither were that surprising. They’d shared the podium with Viktor in the past, and Otabek had gotten silver in the finals the year before. He would be a tough competitor to beat.

The warm up skate was over so quickly, and before he knew it, they were preparing for the first skater. Yuuri was more than relieved to find that he wasn’t the first or the last skater. He’d be skating fourth. That meant he had some time to prepare, but he wouldn’t have to wait until the very end when the nerves would really be getting to him. Fourth felt like a perfect place to be in the line-up. Yuuri had found himself a spot in the halls to continue his stretches when he finally caught sight of Viktor again, making his way over to him with a reassuring smile. He could only guess that the interviews had gone well by the look on his face.

“Sorry I missed the warm up. Who’s up first?” He asked curiously as he leaned against the nearby wall, watching as Yuuri continued his stretches.

Yuuri hummed in thought, “Seung-gil Lee. I’ve never really seen him skate before, but he looked pretty serious.” If Yuuri was honest, Seung-gil had been intimidating. He wasn’t the sort of person you could approach and talk to, that much was obvious. He supposed Mickey wasn’t either, though he was pretty sure that was just when his sister was involved. Seung-gil seemed like the kind of person you didn’t want to talk to, or maybe the kind that didn’t want to talk to you. He wasn’t really sure, but Yuuri hadn’t bothered trying to talk to him when he saw him in the halls, knowing that there was little point. He’d only get shrugged off.

Viktor nodded as he listened to him, “He lacks expression, but he has very good form.”

“What’s his specialty?” Yuuri asked curiously, looking up at Viktor. It could be bad to learn those things, what his fellow competitors were good at, but Seung-gil genuinely didn’t seem like the type of person you could talk to, so if anyone could tell him something like that, it’d be Viktor.

“Some would say his jumps. I’d say his mind.” Viktor had raised his finger to his lips as he thought about that question, tilting his head as he looked down at Yuuri, “He calculates all his scores as he skates. Which I suppose is why he lacks in expression. Personally, I prefer to forget about scores and focus on the emotions while you’re skating, but to each their own.” He shrugged, “It does help him adjust jumps as he skates, though.”

“Huh. Interesting.” Yuuri got to his feet, using the wall beside Viktor to stretch. He couldn’t really imagine skating like that. His mind didn’t work fast enough to figure out the score as he skated, and he knew that it would only take himself out of the moment and mess up his flow. It wasn’t the kind of strategy he could ever see himself attempting, but he had to respect anyone who was able to use it effectively.

Viktor crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Yuuri, “Don’t worry. You have an advantage over him in your component scores. The only people here today you should really be aware of are Yuri and JJ.”

It was comforting to know Viktor thought so much of him, that he was so sure that Yuuri would be able to do this and that he didn’t even need to worry about the competition. In the past, Yuuri had gotten to the final, so it wasn’t that farfetched. If he’d done it once, surely, he could do it again. But every year, the competitors were getting better. Yuuri would have to keep training and improving himself if he wanted to keep up. It was helpful having Viktor training with him. Viktor knew all the jumps already. If anyone could help him learn, it was him. Yuuri’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the announcers.

_“Seung-gil Lee has earned in the short program… 91.83. He is currently in first place.”_

He stood up straight beside Viktor, leaning against the wall, “I’m not worried. He just didn’t seem like the approachable type.” He shrugged. 91.83 wasn’t a bad score. He’d be trying to get a score in the hundreds himself. If he wanted to have a chance against Yuri and JJ, that was the level he had to be at. It was asking a lot, but he knew he was capable. He did it in China, he could do it again.

There was a need to remain calm this time around. He knew Viktor had seem him at his worst in China on the day of his free skate, and there was no doubt that Viktor would be worried about seeing that side of him again, but he couldn’t let himself get like that again. He couldn’t afford another failure like that. Besides, he and Viktor had figured things out now, there was no need to worry about him leaving. Viktor wasn’t going anywhere. He knew that now. No matter how much the voice of doubt would tell him that it couldn’t last forever, looking into Viktor’s eyes was reassurance enough. He’d stay. He would see this through with him.

Still, he couldn’t help but be a little restless. He had to wait his turn, but he knew he’d be up soon. As much as he had wished he wouldn’t go first, he really wished he could just get it over with. The anticipation was bubbling up inside of him as he moved back and forth in the hallway. The announcers were informing the audience of the successes and failures of Emil Nekola’s program, but Yuuri wasn’t paying any attention to it. He was lost in his own mind, thinking about the routine, reminding himself of all the movements he’d have to make, of the story he would be telling. He needed to get this right. He couldn’t afford to fail Viktor.

“Did you hear that, Yuuri? Emil landed his quad.” He was broken from his train of thought by an unfamiliar voice, looking up to see the only skater he’d yet to have spotted among the group. Jean-Jacques Leroy. He had been the rising star among skaters over the recent years.

“Huh?” Yuuri stared at him, confused. He really hadn’t been paying attention to the announcers, more focused on himself and preparing for his turn on the ice.

JJ didn’t seem to notice Yuuri’s distraction, turning to Viktor instead, “Of course, a jump like that would be easy for you, right?”

Viktor frowned as he watched JJ, but didn’t say anything, instead looking over at Yuuri, “Can I talk to you for a minute, Yuuri?”

The request caught the younger man off guard and he shot a glance over to JJ as he looked between them, “Uh. Sure, I guess. I look forward to seeing your skate, JJ.”

Yuuri did his best to be polite. He didn’t want to make any enemies, and he knew that the way Viktor seemed to be snubbing him off couldn’t be taken well by most people. He didn’t know why Viktor was acting like that around JJ, Yuuri hadn’t exactly spent any time around the skater before. Even when he’d been at the final with Yuuri in Sochi, they hadn’t spoken, but that wasn’t all that surprising. Yuuri didn’t talk to anyone but his coach back then. He was already intimidated by everyone, to talk to them would only make things that much worse. It would especially be awkward to become speechless in front of his idol.

“Watch closely, Yuuri. You just might learn something.”

As they started walking down the hallway, Yuuri glanced over at Viktor, “You’re not usually so cold with people.”

Viktor turned to Yuuri, offering him a reassuring smile, “Normally I can handle JJ’s… personality, but I’d rather not hear him try to find ways to tear you down. If there’s one thing I know about Jean-Jacques Leroy, it’s his lack of sportsmanship.”

It wasn’t that farfetched, really. JJ had been known to boast in interviews, and Yuuri had never really seen him close to any other skaters. He never thought much of it before. After all, Yuuri didn’t talk to other skaters before, either. But then again, Yuuri didn’t boast in interviews. The only people he’d ever really seen JJ around were his fans and his family. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He seemed to be kind to the fans that he had. Yuuri just had no idea he was lacking in sportsmanship. He would’ve thought maybe Viktor was reading into it too much, but Viktor was nice to everyone. It didn’t make sense for him to single out one person unless he had a reason.

Before Yuuri knew what was happening, Viktor had gripped his arm and tugged him into a nearby room. Startled, he looked around to see that the room was dark and empty. He could smell dust and there were shelves filled with all kinds of random items. Some for skating, others for hockey, some even just cleaning supplies. He frowned as he turned to face Viktor, “What are we doing in here?”

“I needed to get you alone for a moment.”

“Okay… but, why?” He asked curiously. It wasn’t that he minded. Not at all. Having time to themselves was always a welcome prospect, but this wasn’t something Viktor had ever done before. Unless he counted the parking lot, he supposed. Was Viktor worried about his nerves again? He must’ve scared the Russian pretty badly last time for him to be pulling him away like this just to make sure everything was alright.

“First,” Viktor closed the gap between them, taking Yuuri’s hands in his own as he looked into his eyes, “How are you feeling?”

The feel of Viktor’s hands in his own was still something new. They didn’t exactly hold hands very often, but Yuuri was quickly learning just how well they seemed to fit together, threading their fingers without much thought. His eyes were on Viktor’s, watching the mesmerising blue and he was sure Viktor could hear his heartbeat begin to quicken. Viktor still had this effect over him, and Yuuri was sure it was never going to go away. He took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself as he smiled reassuringly, “Nervous, I guess. But not like China. Just regular nervous. I’ll be fine.”

Viktor nodded slowly, clearly thinking over Yuuri’s words, but there was something more there. The look in his eyes was very telling. It was a look Yuuri had seen plenty of time. The same look he had when they were trying to figure out the choreography for the free program, or when Yuuri asked him to teach him certain jumps. He was considering his next move. Viktor seemed almost unsure of himself, and it was such a strange thing to see in the normally so confident Russian. Yuuri gently squeezed Viktor’s hands, speaking softly, “You said ‘first’. Was there something else?”

“Just one other thing.” Before Yuuri knew what was happening, he felt Viktor’s lips pressed against his. Is wasn’t a new feeling. Not at all, but the way Viktor was kissing him was different. There was need, desire, passion, and Yuuri could barely keep up with himself as his body seemed to kick into autopilot, moving his hands from Viktor’s, instead holding him close as his fingers tangled in silvery hair. He met the kiss with just as much force, unsure of whether it was need or want fuelling his movements. It didn’t matter. It felt good, and right, and as Viktor’s hands rested on his hips, Yuuri’s mind was filled with nothing but the man in front of him. He barely noticed Viktor guiding him, moving until Yuuri was pinned to the nearest wall. He was too focused on those lips, that touch, the taste of Viktor as he fought for dominance that Yuuri was all too willing to give. It was sensory overload in the most wonderful of ways as Viktor dragged his teeth gently over Yuuri’s bottom lip, pulling away from the kiss, but keeping their bodies close.

“V-Viktor…” It was all Yuuri could do not to follow his lips, to bring that feeling of euphoria back. He’d kissed Viktor plenty of times over the last week, but it had never felt anything like that.

“You have passion within you. You keep hiding it away, but it wants to come out. So much potential… after all this time, I want to see it.” His voice was soft, his breath ghosting against Yuuri’s skin, and he was putty in Viktor’s hands. If it wasn’t for Viktor’s hold, Yuuri was sure he would’ve melted to the floor by now. His breath was short as he stared into Viktor’s eyes, their bodies still pressed so close together. He wasn’t sure if he was hearing his own heartbeat, or Viktor’s. Maybe their hearts were beating in time. It was a romantic thought he wanted to indulge in the moment, “Will you show it to me on the ice today, Yuuri?”

Without thinking, Yuuri was bringing his free hand to the small of Viktor’s back, pressing him closer. “Don’t take your eyes off me. I’ll show all of Russia my love for you.” It was a bold statement, one Yuuri wouldn’t normally have said, but they were alone, and he felt some kind of confidence when he had Viktor in his arms like this. It was the first time he’d let himself verbally call it love, but that’s what it was. It was undeniable. He had loved Viktor Nikiforov throughout his childhood and as he grew up. He continued to love him as his mentor and friend. And now there was something new and exciting, and Yuuri knew this was going to develop into a whole new kind of love. A love he couldn’t wait to experience with Viktor at his side.

Viktor seemed to approve of the simple yet daring declaration, closing the gap and kissing him much more delicately than he had moments ago, “I couldn’t look away even if I tried. I can’t wait to see it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fully intended this to be the entirety of the Short Programs, but I realised how long this was and how much more I wanted to add to it, and how much I wanted to post tonight... so here is what I had written. The next chapter will conclude the Short Programs with skates from Yuuri, Yuri, and JJ!


	12. Chapter 12

Yuuri was still feeling a little lightheaded as he stood by the ice, watching Michele Crispino’s program. He’d missed the ending of Emil’s and hadn’t heard the score, but he really couldn’t find it in himself to care. It might have simply made him more nervous to know, and there were much more important things to think about. He’d missed the beginning of Mickey’s skate, too, but could already tell what the story was about. Michele was able to portray it well. The story suited him, too. The brave knight. No doubt protecting his sister from the world. As he landed a triple lutz, triple loop combination, he moved his warms as though he were fighting off a hoard of monsters.

He moved into a step sequence, but Yuuri found himself distracted as he felt Viktor’s presence beside him. He would be on the ice soon. He’d promised to show Viktor all the passion he’d been hiding within himself, but could he really do that? Yuuri wasn’t even sure what it was he was hiding. He didn’t know what Viktor had seen in him, it was something he was still trying to make sense of. Still, he’d promised.  There was no way Yuuri could let Viktor down.

Mickey’s step sequence came to an end much sooner than Yuuri was expecting. Or maybe he’d just been distracted, he wasn’t sure. He watched as Michele took his bows, stepping off the ice and heading towards the kiss and cry. It was a good performance, though the level of difficulty in the jumps was lower than most of the other skaters. Yuuri glanced over at Viktor, taking a shaky breath to steady himself. It was like he could still feel Viktor’s hands on him, his lips still tingled from that kiss. If it wasn’t for where they were and just how important this was, he’d drag the Russian away, have him all to himself. But he couldn’t. All he could do was skate. Maybe that was why Viktor had done it. He’d been worked up. The passion was at the forefront of his mind, the thoughts of being with Viktor, being close to him, being _his_. It would be all he could think about on the ice.

_“Michele Crispino has earned in the short program… 89.65. He is currently in second place.”_

Yuuri was already waiting on the ice by Viktor’s side as they announced Mickey’s score. It wasn’t awful, but it was certainly the kind of score you’d want to improve upon so late in the Grand Prix Circuit. Still, the free skate was yet to come. Time would tell, and Mickey did seem to have the skills to make it through. Yuuri watched as Viktor waved at the crowd. They seemed so excited to see him. Of course. It made sense when he really thought about it. This was Russia, Viktor’s home country. The adoring fans would be everywhere. Still, Yuuri wasn’t willing to share Viktor’s attention. Not today. Without thinking, he gripped Viktor’s tie, tugging him close and speaking softly, “Eyes on me. Remember?”

Viktor smiled, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Upon hearing the announcement that he was next, Yuuri reluctantly dragged himself away from Viktor’s side, making his way to the centre of the ice. As the music started, it was as though Yuuri’s body moved on instinct, glancing to Viktor, making sure he was watching. The good thing about this program was that he’d skated it so many times by now that he really didn’t have to think about the steps. It was all muscle memory at this point. It meant he didn’t find himself lost in the program and forgetting about artistry. Today, he could think about Viktor. He could think about the request he’d made. Viktor wanted to see his passion, and Yuuri hadn’t been sure of exactly how to project that. Then again, a lot had changed over the last week, and maybe that was really what he’d been needing.

As Yuuri worked his way through the step sequence, his thoughts were filled with Viktor. While before, it had been about his need to keep Viktor around, this was different. He couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities he now had with Viktor, about the feel of their bodies pressed close together. For so long it hadn’t been something he’d even considered before, but now it was his reality. Viktor was his, and he couldn’t wait to tell the world. It was all he could do not to shout from the rooftops that Viktor Nikiforov belonged to him, that he deserved him, and that nothing could take this from him now. His mind was filled with thoughts of Viktor’s touch, the way he’d held him close; so dominating, yet filled with care and love. Yuuri was putty in Viktor’s hands, but he wanted to make the Russian feel the same way. He wanted to make him weak at the knees, wanted to be able to leave him speechless.

Yuuri moved into his spread eagle before landing his first jump without much effort. His mind wasn’t on the routine. It was on Viktor. The way it felt to be pressed against that wall, the way it felt to have Viktor kissing him with all that passion. Nothing had felt that right. He didn’t know why he’d pushed it back for so long, why he’d tried to deny his feelings for so long. He’d been spending all his time with Viktor for months. He could’ve had him so much closer. And now he just wanted to make up for all that time, to kiss him, to hold him, to tell him how much he meant to him without worrying about what he would think. His triple axel was landed flawlessly as he thought about what it would be like to switch their places, to be the one to take Viktor by surprise. Viktor had surprised him all his life. It would be amazing to do the same to him.

He caught sight of Viktor watching him as he moved across the ice, and it only spurred him on further, knowing Viktor was watching him, knowing that this was his chance to give Viktor exactly what he wanted. Of course, he couldn’t be sure that he was portraying all the emotions he wanted to in this skate. He could only hope. As he landed his quadruple toe loop, triple toe loop combination, Yuuri knew that the skate would be coming to an end soon. It was a little bittersweet. This was a chance to really show Viktor this side of himself that he’d apparently been wanting to see for such a long time. Was this what he’d seen at the banquet? Was that what he wanted? Yuuri was always trying to forget about what could’ve happened, knowing that the person he was when he was drunk was definitely not who he was in reality. If he could bring out that side of himself, though, if he could give Viktor that glimpse without the need of liquid courage, all the better.

Only a moment later, the music was ending and Yuuri was in his resting position at the centre of the ice, his arms wrapped around himself as the crowd began to cheer. He really didn’t know whether or not he’d done well. He hadn’t been paying attention to the program. He knew he hadn’t hit the ice, so he must’ve landed all his jumps, but that was all he’d really paid any mind to. He was too busy thinking about Viktor, about being his and knowing that Viktor was his in turn. His movements remained on autopilot as he took his bows before heading towards the kiss and cry where Viktor was waiting for him. It took all his self-control to not lean into Viktor and enjoy having him right there. There was so much lost time. So much time wasted that they could’ve spent so much closer, but he told Viktor he wanted to keep this to themselves until the Grand Prix Circuit was over and he meant it. He still had to prove himself.

_“Yuuri Katsuki has earned in the short program… 111.97, a new season’s best. He is currently in first place.”_

Yuuri was frozen in place as he heard the announcement. It was hard enough to get a score over one hundred. How had he managed to get a score that high? He felt Viktor’s arms wrap around him as he hugged him, but didn’t move, trying to go through the routine in his head and figure out how he’d managed to get a score so high. Viktor’s voice broke through his daze, “I told you, Yuuri. That program was made for _you_.”

Looking over at Viktor, he smiled and hugged him tightly to his chest, “It was good, right?”

“It was perfect. I only wish I knew what was going through your mind.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Yuuri laughed, pulling away as he heard the announcement for the next skate. The Russian punk would be next on the ice, and he was excited to see him skating again. It was hard to believe how long it had been. Without thinking, Yuuri was getting to his feet, calling across the rink, “Yuri, good luck!”

“Davai!” Viktor called from beside him and the pair of them smiled brightly as they waved to the blond standing on the ice. It only seemed to cause annoyance in the young boy, but it was hard to tell if that annoyance was real. Yuri was hard to read at the best of times, it proved especially difficult when he was so far away.

Instinctively, Yuuri grabbed Viktor’s hand, pulling him away from the kiss and cry and heading to find a spot rink side to watch the performance. He was still reeling from his own score, but he’d wanted to see Yuri perform this program for a long time. The music had already started, and he was already moving along the ice by the time Yuuri had settled on a spot to watch from, his eyes trained on the boy gliding along the ice. The first jump was a triple axel. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen Yuri fall, but it was certainly a rare sight. He had something on his mind. He wasn’t concentrating on the skate. That’s what it seemed like, anyway.

The next jump came quickly, but this time he was landing his quadruple salchow, triple toe loop combination flawlessly. He seemed to be back in the rhythm of things. Whatever had messed him up to begin with was gone as he moved along the ice. The final jump was a quadruple toe loop, and Yuri didn’t seem to have any issues landing it. All that was left was his set of step sequences and spins. Yuri’s spins were always a sight to behold. He was more flexible than most of the other skaters, most likely because of his age, and he used it to his advantage. The routine seemed to come to an end all too soon and the pair of them cheered excitedly for the Russian at the centre of the ice.

Yuuri couldn’t be sure if the blond was annoyed with them, or just his own performance. Maybe a mix of both. From the short time they’d spent together, Yuri Plisetsky had made it clear that he didn’t tolerate anything short of perfection. He expected only the best from himself, and that performance wasn’t quite good enough for someone like him. Yuri sat beside Yakov at the kiss and cry, and all they could do was watch and wait to hear the results.

_“Yuri Plisetsky has earned in the short program… 98.09. He is currently in second place.”_

It certainly wasn’t his best, and they all knew he could do better. It wasn’t a bad score by any means, though. It was one of the best of the day. There was only one skater left, and he was still in second place. Still, the annoyance was clear. Yuri expected more from himself. He’d have to make up for it in the free skate. Yuuri made a mental note to ask Yuri if he was alright later. Something was obviously on his mind.

As the final skater for the day was called, Yuuri felt Viktor’s arm wrap around his waist, pulling him back to reality. If it was anyone else, he’d probably tell him that they were in public, that he shouldn’t be holding him like that, but even before they’d admitted their feelings, Viktor had always done things like that. It was just who he was. If anything, it would be more suspicious for him to suddenly keep his hands to himself. Glancing back at Viktor, he leaned into him without a second thought. Maybe he was indulging himself, but he couldn’t help it. It felt good to be with Viktor like that.

“You’re still in first place. Feeling okay?” Viktor asked curiously as Jean-Jacques Leroy began his short program with a quadruple toe loop, triple toe loop combination. He landed it well, but Yuuri was more focused on what Viktor was saying, realising that Viktor was once again worrying about him. He must’ve really scared Viktor back in China. Yuuri couldn’t blame him, really. It wasn’t the worst skate of his career, but it wasn’t good. It was definitely one of the more painful skates he’d ever done, at least emotionally. But he didn’t feel those nerves here. He felt calm. Maybe that was simply because he had Viktor so close to him. Maybe it was because the final skate hadn’t been scored yet. He couldn’t be sure.

“You don’t have to worry about me, I feel fine.” Yuuri reassured, his eyes on the Canadian skater making the ice his own. The audience were all clapping and singing along to the music for his short program, and JJ seemed to only be spurred on further by the attention as he moved into his step sequence. He was definitely a talented skater. It was hard to believe so many of the skaters were so young, but he could see why all of them had gotten this far. JJ, though. He seemed to be a crowd favourite.

Viktor’s arm tightened around his waist for a moment, and there was this feeling of safety. A warmth seemed to overcome him. Viktor was right there, and he was trying so hard to make sure Yuuri was going to be okay, that China wouldn’t happen again. He just wished he hadn’t scared Viktor the way he had back there. Of course, it wasn’t about the skate in the end. It was about that kiss. That kiss was what had made him have that meltdown in China, but it turned out to be the best thing he’d ever done. Yuuri watched as JJ landed his final jump, a quadruple lutz. His routine had been flawless. The crowd was engrossed in ‘King JJ’. As much as Viktor didn’t seem to like JJ for his lack of sportsmanship, he did seem to have all the talent to backup his confidence.

It felt like JJ was on the ice forever. Even after he’d finished skating, he stayed in the centre of the ice, throwing up his hands in his trademark ‘JJ’ symbol and waving to his adoring fans. Yuuri had gotten bored of watching it a long time ago, and was instead looking around at the crowd, trying to find some of the other skaters to gauge their reactions to the performance. The only skater he could see was Seung-gil, and his expression was impossible to read.

“It’s going to be close.” Viktor spoke softly. If Yuuri wasn’t so close, he might not have even heard him. He glanced up at Viktor to see the serious look on his face, then back to the ice only to find that JJ had moved to the kiss and cry. Viktor knew JJ was a tough competitor. He knew that he wouldn’t be easy to beat, and that it was going to be difficult to know who would end up in first place after the short programs. The judges had a lot on their hands.

_“Jean-Jacques Leroy has earned in his short program… 113.56, a new season’s best. He is currently in first place.”_

* * *

 

The hardest part of all of this was that he still hadn’t gotten a gold medal for Viktor. It would be nice to say he at least had gotten one in China. Even if he failed at the finals, being able to say he’d received at least one gold would be an achievement. After JJ’s performance, Yuuri wasn’t so sure it was going to happen. He had to up his game for the free skate. He couldn’t hold anything back. Yuuri knew a lot could happen. There were only a couple points between them, but he also knew what JJ was capable of, that he no doubt wouldn’t be pulling any punches in his free program. Standing outside the venue in the cold night air, Yuuri was concentrating on nothing but his free skate, trying to think of ways he could possibly improve it, make it more difficult, make it something that could beat the Canadian skater.

“Hey! Pork Cutlet Bowl!” He was broken from his thoughts at the sound of the Russian Punk’s irritated voice. Looking up, he saw Yuri Plisetsky making his way over to him, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched him, “Where’s Viktor?”

“He’s inside. Said he wanted to talk to Coach Yakov.” Yuuri shrugged, realising this was his opportunity to ask Yuri about his skate, “Hey uh, is everything okay?”

Yuri frowned as he looked over the older man, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Yuuri knew he had to be tactful. Yuri Plisetsky wasn’t the type to take criticism too well, and he really didn’t want this to sound like criticism in the first place. He was simply worried. Yuri wasn’t the kind of person to accept mistakes, and there were obvious ones in his performance that day. He took a breath, looking down at his feet as he spoke, “You just… seemed like you had something on your mind during your skate today.”

“Oh.” It was a simple response, and not the defensive one he had been expecting. Yuri was looking at the door to the venue as he spoke. It was as if he was hoping someone would walk through, someone would give him an excuse not to speak, “You and Viktor are a thing now, da?”

The sudden question caused a sharp intake of breath from Yuuri, choking on air. He coughed and spluttered as he looked over at the blond, shaking his head and arms wildly, his eyes wide, “What!? W-Why-why-why would you th-think that!?”

Yuri simply rolled his eyes, a tut of disapproval escaping his lips before he continued, “Don’t play dumb with me. I saw that performance today. There’s only one reason you would skate like that.”

Yuuri really hadn’t realised that his skating that day had been so obvious. He didn’t want the world knowing about the relationship he had with Viktor. Not yet. But he knew that this was the best thing that had ever happened to his skating. He couldn’t possibly deny that. It didn’t feel right to deny any of it to Yuri, either. After all, what would it matter if he knew the truth? It wasn’t like he would go running to the press and tell it to the world. Yuuri watched the young boy, realising that he was waiting for an answer, “Is… is that why you fell in your program today?”

“Let me make one thing clear,” Yuri turned to face him, his usual angry demeanour back on display as he violently stabbed at Yuuri’s chest with his finger, “You can do whatever you want with Viktor, I don’t want to know, but you can’t keep him away from Russia. He’s coming home once the Circuit is over. He’s going to help Yakov train Mila and me. You can’t keep him in Japan.”

Yuuri frowned as he listened to him, “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“I’m not worried!” Yuri quickly denied the thought, stepping into his personal space and emphasising his words for clarity, “You need to know your place, Piggy. If you keep him in Japan, he’ll be miserable.”

It wasn’t something Yuuri doubted, honestly. Viktor had said already that he was homesick. He didn’t doubt it at all. He knew that Japan was a nice adventure for Viktor, but it could never be home. He wouldn’t force Viktor to go back to Japan with him. Honestly, he hadn’t even thought that far ahead, but he knew that he wanted to stay in Viktor’s life. Yuuri offered the young boy a reassuring smile, “I’d rather move to Russia than force him to stay in Japan.”

Yuri groaned in disgust, moving away and shaking his head, “You two make me sick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the greatest of chapters, but I really wanted to get this one out today. In the next chapter, the free skates begin! Who will win the Rostelecom Cup? Who will qualify for the finals!? Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!


	13. Chapter 13

There were a lot of things that Yuuri Katsuki loved in his life. He loved to skate, the feeling of gliding along the ice, projecting his emotions through his movements. He loved to train when he was anxious, keeping active just seemed to calm him down. Then there was food. So many delicious meals to try from all over the world. It was part of experiencing life. And then there was Viktor. He didn’t know what his feelings were for him, but he had decided that it was love. But if there was one thing that Yuuri absolutely did not love about life, it was getting out of bed in the morning. It was made especially more terrible when there was a warm body beside him. He was warm, he was comfortable, he had an arm gently wrapped around his waist, holding him close. Why would he ever want to leave that space? Of course, Viktor was a morning person. He knew they’d be getting up soon, despite how much he really wanted to just stay in bed. He’d said that he slept until the last minute before competitions. That’s what Yuuri wanted. He just wanted to stay in that bed.

Yuuri kept his eyes closed even as he woke, wanting to just stay there. Maybe he could go back to sleep before Viktor noticed he was awake. He was sure his heart had skipped several beats when he felt Viktor’s lips gently brush a kiss against his shoulder. The Russian was always an affectionate person, but he was quickly learning that the affection was so much stronger in the mornings. Maybe Viktor wanted to stay in bed just as much as he did. Yuuri spoke softly, his voice still thick from slumber, “Go back to sleep, Vitya.”

The Russian’s smile could be felt against Yuuri’s skin as he brushed gentle kisses from his shoulder to his neck. Over time, Yuuri had gotten used to having Viktor so close, but he still surprised him even now. This was one of those times. He was affectionate. Of course he was, it was one of the first things he had learned about Viktor when he walked into his life. But Yuuri had never felt his lips brush against his neck like that. It was intimate, but filled with care and love, and Yuuri could feel himself melting back against Viktor the moment he felt the reassuring touch, “What did you just call me?”

Yuuri froze as he realised his half asleep brain had caused him to use the pet name. He’d never said it before. He hadn’t even heard it until the day before. Yakov had been calling Viktor ‘Vitya’ and Yuuri had just thought it sounded sweet. He had planned to ask before he used it, not sure if Viktor even liked it, but he hadn’t worked up the courage yet. Only Yuuri would make a dumb mistake like that, letting the name slip in his sleepy state. He hesitantly turned to face Viktor, his cheeks heating up with his embarrassment, “I… sorry. I heard Coach Yakov say it and I just thought…” He trailed off as he realised that Viktor was still smiling.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s really cute when you say it.”

Yuuri looked up into Viktor’s eyes. Even without his glasses, he could see how blue they were, how they sparkled when he smiled. Viktor Nikiforov was stunning even when he’d just woken up. It was a little unfair, really. Yuuri couldn’t begin to understand what someone like this saw in him. Why would Viktor have made that bet with him in the first place? What had he seen in him? He really didn’t know, but he wanted to make him proud, and when Viktor looked at him like that, it felt like he didn’t have to try at all. That was the look of someone who adored him regardless of what he did, and Yuuri knew he didn’t deserve it. “You… you don’t mind?”

“Of course not, Yuuri. I like it.” Yuuri felt Viktor’s fingers brush along his arm until he was bringing his hand to his lips, kissing his fingers gently, “Now get up, you’ve got a big day today.”

Yuuri took his hand from Viktor’s hold, reaching out to brush the silvery hair from his eyes. It was one of Yuuri’s favourite things to do. He still remembered when Viktor’s hair was long as a teenager. Always flowing, falling into his eyes. He’d imagined what it would be like to run his fingers through that hair for years, and now he could do it whenever he wanted to. Viktor’s hair was just as soft as he’d always imagined it being. He smiled fondly, moving his hand to gently cup the Russian’s cheek, closing the gap between them in a gentle kiss. It always felt a little bit new and exciting to kiss Viktor. He wasn’t sure how long it would take him to get used to the feeling, but it wasn’t a bad thing, “Five more minutes.” He murmured softly against Viktor’s lips, their breath mingling together, “Please, Vitya.”

He didn’t receive an answer. Instead, he felt Viktor pounce on him, his shriek of surprise soon dissolving into laughter as Viktor peppered kisses over his face, fingers dancing delicately over the sensitive skin at his sides. Maybe this really was what love felt like.

* * *

 

It had been the perfect start to Yuuri’s day. The nerves were practically non-existent even as he skated through the practice. There was a lot riding on the skate today, but he wanted to believe that he could do it. Despite how talented the other skaters clearly were, Yuuri wanted to believe that he’d make it onto the podium. There had been a change in Yuuri over the course of the competitions. Before, he had avoided watching the other skaters, knowing that seeing their success would only worsen his nerves. He didn’t feel that way anymore. He wanted to watch them. He wanted to see how they did, to know what he was up against. But it was more than that. He wanted to cheer for them, too. They were all there for the same reason. They all wanted to be the best at the sport. It just felt natural to watch them and cheer them on.

Emil was first up to skate in their group. After the short program, he was sitting in sixth place. He had a lot of ground to make up, but he had the potential to do it. He’d just have to work hard in his free skate. His first jump was a quadruple salchow and he seemed to land it well. Emil was clearly focused, knowing he would have to work hard if he wanted to make it to the final. Sometimes, Yuuri really wished they could all win gold. He knew how hard they were all working. He knew how much blood, sweat, and tears went into training to be where they were. Everyone deserved a medal. There was simply no way they could all win, and it was a little heartbreaking when he really thought about it.

Emil had landed almost all of his jumps in his program. It was only when he reached his final combination that he fell. It would cost him some points, and at this point in the competition, he couldn’t afford any point losses. Yuuri watched closely as Emil quickly got back to his feet, not letting the fall stop him as he landed his final jump, a triple salchow. It had been an almost perfect performance. If it wasn’t for that one little mistake, maybe he would’ve had a chance at the finals, but Yuuri knew what he was up against all too well. JJ and Yuri were going through, there was no doubt in his mind. He was going to do everything in his power to get into the finals with them, but he knew that meant people like Emil would get left behind.

_“Emil Nekola has earned in the free skate…189.95, giving him a total of 271.58. He is currently in first place.”_

Michele Crispino would be next on the ice, and he was Yuuri’s biggest competition when it came to making it through to the finals. He had a lot of potential. It wasn’t all that surprising when you realised that his sister was Sara Crispino. They were both so filled with skill and talent. Sometimes, Yuuri wondered why they hadn’t gone into pairs skating. The way Mickey clings to his sister, determined to protect her from the world, he was sure they’d have a good dynamic for pairs. Sara was a bit of a free spirit, though. Maybe she just wanted to work on her own. Yuuri couldn’t imagine that going over too well for Mickey, though.

The music Mickey was skating to could be interpreted in two very different ways. Though it was a romantic piece, it could easily bring out a melancholy story, and that seemed exactly what he was going for with his movements. He wasn’t sure what had Mickey so sad, why he was skating like this, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. His skating was beautiful as he landed his first few jumps flawlessly. There was so much artistry to his performance, and it was enough to get Yuuri a little worried. The nerves that had been hiding away for so long were starting to surface as Mickey began his step sequence. He couldn’t let Mickey beat him here. If he did, this would all be over. He couldn’t afford to let that happen. Yuuri was suddenly wishing Viktor hadn’t disappeared to talk to Yakov and the other Russian skaters. Having him there as his nerves started to get the better of him would’ve made things so much easier. Instead, all he could do was watch as Mickey finished his program, bowing to the audience before making his way over to the kiss and cry.

The first thing Yuuri noticed was that Sara wasn’t waiting for him at the kiss and cry. Maybe that was why his performance had been so sorrowful. He had used whatever he was feeling to his advantage, though. The performance was undeniably perfect. He hadn’t messed up any of his jumps, and his step sequence had been wonderful. The only thing Yuuri could really rely on here was that Michele’s jumps had a lower technical score than his would have.

_“Michele Crispino has earned in the free skate… 193.24, a new season’s best. His total is 282.29. He is currently in first place.”_

It was a great score. Yuuri would need to do better than he had in China if he wanted to beat it. But that wasn’t even his biggest issue. If Michele was a strong competitor, the next skater could be potentially even more of a challenge. Seung-gil stood in the centre of the ice in preparation for his skate. He had made an even better start in the short program than Mickey had. If his free skate went well, then Yuuri would have to work even harder for his own skate. It was a lot to think about, but his one hope was that the Korean skater’s lack of artistry in his performances would assist in giving Yuuri the edge he needed.

Though Seung-gil lacked in expression, his performances did seem to exude confidence. It was just the same right up until his first jump. Seung-gil botched the landing, ending up on the ice. It was bad for him, of course, though it meant Yuuri had a little bit more of a chance. He didn’t like thinking that way, though. Instead, he just kept hoping Seung-gil could turn his program around. He was capable of a lot. His mind would be already tracking the loss in points and figuring out how to make it up. He could do this and Yuuri wanted to see it happen.

“Excuse me?” He was broken from his thoughts when he heard a young woman’s voice beside him. Looking up, he was met with blue eyes, though not nearly as light as the ones he’d gotten used to waking up to in the mornings. The woman had medium length dark hair, and a warm smile. It was the kind of smile that made you immediately feel welcomed by the woman. She stepped closer, holding the coat that she’d folded over her arm to her chest, “I’m sorry to bother you, but have you seen JJ at all?”

Yuuri frowned, “Uh no, sorry. Haven’t seen him since the practice skate. There are only two more skaters until his turn, though, so you could always make yourself comfortable while you wait.”

She seemed a bit dejected when Yuuri couldn’t give her the information she needed, but smiled at the offer, sitting down beside him, “I was hoping to surprise him before his skate, but maybe it’d be better to wait. Thank you, um…”

Yuuri quickly realised she was searching for a name, “Oh uh, Yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki. Nice to meet you.”

“Isabella Yang. The pleasure’s all mine. You’re on the roster to skate today, aren’t you? I recognise the name.”

“Yep. I’m on just before JJ. Must be nerve wracking for him to go last. I know that pain.” Yuuri really hated being first or last. They were always the hardest for him. Though he supposed JJ really didn’t seem to be the type to let pressure get to him.

“He’ll be fine. JJ likes the wait. He says that the anticipation adds to his performance when it’s his turn.” She shrugged.

“Well, he is definitely good at what he does.” Yuuri conceded. He really wished he could deny it. JJ was his biggest obstacle when it came to the Circuit. If he did make it into the finals, he knew that JJ was going to be the person to beat. Yuri would of course be right up there with him, but it was JJ who was looking like the skater to beat.

“Are you a friend of his?” She asked curiously, practically beaming at the thought.

“Does uh… does JJ have friends?” He smiled sheepishly. He didn’t mean any offense. It was simply that he had never seen JJ spending time around anyone. He didn’t exactly interact very well with the other skaters from what Yuuri had seen.

“He doesn’t really make friends with other skaters usually. I don’t think many skaters know how to handle him.” She had a faraway look in her eyes as she spoke, watching Seung-gil’s skate though it was obvious she wasn’t focused on it, “He has a lot of insecurities, you know? But he doesn’t really know how to express himself well with other people. JJ doesn’t like people seeing his faults, so he hides them behind this air of confidence. Not many skaters realise it. They think he’s just arrogant. If they could see him behind closed doors…”

Yuuri watched her intently as she spoke, trying to understand it all. JJ didn’t seem like the type to be insecure about his skills. He didn’t seem like the type that worried about being better than other people, he seemed pretty confident that he was. But Yuuri knew that Yuri could be the same way, hiding behind his anger, pretending he didn’t care when he really did. Maybe JJ wasn’t as self centred as he made himself out to be. “Um, can I… can I ask how you know so much about him?”

“Oh, you didn’t know? I’m JJ’s fiancé!” She seemed so excited to share the news, quickly holding her hand out to show Yuuri the ring on her finger. The diamond seemed to glisten in the lights of the venue, “We’re getting married once he wins gold.”

Yuuri smiled, looking into her eyes and seeing all that love she felt when she spoke about JJ. He really was everything to this woman, “Congratulations. I’m not going to make it easy for him, though.”

She giggled, looking down at the ring on her finger as she pulled her hand back, “I don’t expect you to. He knows it’ll be difficult, but he can do it. Even if he fails, I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

“He’s lucky to have someone who cares about him so much.” Yuuri knew what it meant to have someone who cared, now more than ever. He had spent so much time in his own thoughts, telling himself that he couldn’t do anything, and then Viktor walked into his life and changed all that. Having one person who saw through the fears, who pushed you to keep trying… it meant everything. It was the difference between giving up and moving forward. Yuuri wondered how far JJ could’ve gone without Isabella to encourage him to keep trying.

“What are we talking about?” Yuuri looked up to see Viktor standing beside them and he was sure his eyes sparkled just as much as the diamond on Isabella’s finger. It had to be unfair to look that good without even trying.

“Oh uh, Viktor, this is Isabella. Isabella, this is—”

“Viktor Nikiforov, of course. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” She quickly got to her feet to shake Viktor’s hand, though he seemed to be used to the treatment. There had been plenty of people excited to meet him in the past, after all.

Shaking her hand, he slid into the seat on the other side of Yuuri just as the announcement rang out, _“Seung-gil Lee has earned in the free skate…164.37 giving him a total of 256.2. He is currently in third place.”_

Yuuri frowned, “I thought he’d get a much higher score than that.”

“He fell on a few of his jumps. There are only so many times you can recalculate before you run out of chances.” Viktor shrugged, leaning his shoulder gently against Yuuri’s, “Don’t let yourself get complacent, though. There’s still plenty of competition to beat.”

“Yeah, I know. Yuri’s up next, right?” He’d been waiting expectantly for the young Russian’s skate. He’d watched him practice the short program plenty of times, but he hadn’t seen anything to do with his free skate yet. This would be his first time seeing it. Looking over at Viktor, though, he could see concern in his eyes as he watched the young boy take to the ice, “Viktor? What’s wrong?”

“Yuri… he’s decided to move his jumps. He’ll be doing two in the first half.”

“Only two?” Isabella spoke Yuuri’s thoughts, leaning forward in her seat to pay close attention to the performance they were about to see.

That left Yuri with six jumps in the second half. That was a lot for him to get through, and would no doubt be exhausting. It was a risky move, but one that the blond would no doubt have come up with all on his own. He wanted to win. That much was obvious. This would make up for the loss in points during the short program. The first element of his skate was a step sequence, and it was filled with so much grace, poise. Yuri knew that he was younger and more flexible than most of the other competitors and he used that to his advantage at every given opportunity. No matter what it takes to win.

His first jump was a quad and he landed it perfectly. From there, more spins and steps were quickly followed by a triple axel from a spiral. They were the only two jumps from the first half and he landed them well. Now he just had to maintain his stamina in order to complete all the other jumps before the end of the program. Yuuri knew it would be difficult. Especially if he had more quads planned, and there was really no doubt that he did. The next three jumps went well, two triples and a quad. They all were landed perfectly, but Yuuri could only imagine how tired he was getting. He moved back into a step sequence, but still had three jumps left in the program.

If the program was wearing him down, Yuri was doing well to hide it. His next jump was a quad salchow, triple toe loop combination, and he landed it with grace as he glided along the ice. It seemed like every time Yuuri saw the young Russian skate, he was getting better, improving himself. He was ever evolving. He was beautiful. The next jump was a triple toe loop, double toe loop. It wasn’t quite as difficult as the other jumps, but he had to be wearing thin by this point. Still, he landed the jumps, moving onto the final jump of the program. A triple axel, single toe loop, triple salchow combination was all that was left for him to complete his performance. The whole audience was entranced by the boy moving along the ice as he landed the jumps with precision. His program was flawless. He didn’t seem tired until the performance was complete, falling to his knees on the ice as he tried to catch his breath.

“Yuuri.” The Japanese skater was broken from his daze at the sound of the Russian accent beside him. Viktor was on his feet, holding a hand out to him, “We have to go, you’re up.”

“Oh. Right.” He hesitantly took Viktor’s hand, though his mind was still on Yuri Plisetsky. That was an incredible performance, one he wasn’t sure he could compare to.

Just as they were moving to leave, he felt a hand grasp his arm and turned back to see Isabella holding him in place. She had a warm smile, a smile that seemed to say, ‘everything will be okay’. She gently squeezed his arm as she spoke, “Good luck, Yuuri. I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully.”

_“Yuri Plisetsky has earned in his free program… 199.87, a new season’s best. His total is 297.96. He is currently in first place.”_

* * *

 

The nerves were back as the music for Yuuri’s routine began. That was going to be a difficult act to follow, but he had to do his best. He had made mistakes with this routine in the past. The Cup of China was a world of problems, ones he wasn’t willing to make again. Things were different now. He wanted to show Viktor that he wanted this with every fibre of his being. This was what he needed. The routine they’d put together had been about his career, about his failures and growing into the person he was now. He wanted this routine to show Viktor how happy he was now. Happier than he’d ever been before. His first jumps were supposed to be a quadruple toe loop, triple toe loop combination, but he only managed a double for the second jump. The nerves were getting the better of him at the start of the performance, and he knew he had to pull them back. His second jump was a quad salchow, a jump he rarely managed to land in competitions, but this time he did it without any sloppy landings to deduce points. There was still a lot of the performance left. He knew there was. He had made that one little mistake, but he had time to bring it back. His next jump was fine, but he touched his hand on the ice during his triple axel.

Yuuri tried to calm himself down, taking a deep breath as he moved along the ice. Without thinking, he was looking over in Viktor’s direction, seeing the concentration on the Russian’s face. He wanted this just as much as Yuuri did. He couldn’t afford to let Viktor down. His triple flip was landed flawlessly, and he tried his best to maintain his rhythm with the music. That was always the most important part, after all. He wanted all of Russia to feel everything he was feeling, to know how much Viktor had changed his life. Everything was different now. A world of black and white had been filled with colour thanks to blue eyes, silver hair, and all the passion of one man. His next jump was a triple axel, single loop, triple salchow combination. It was landed, but Yuuri knew he’d over rotated. He couldn’t afford to make more mistakes. It was important to him that he get this right, that he show everyone how important Viktor was to him, how important this program was to him. It wasn’t just filled with his love. It was filled with Viktor’s, too. This was theirs, it was something that no one could take away from him. His triple lutz, triple toe combination landed with finesse as he moved into his step sequence. Step sequences were always Yuuri’s favourite because he could stop thinking about the jumps and focus on the feelings entirely. He lost himself in the music, though his mind kept coming back to one thought; _how can I show Viktor how important this is to me?_

The realisation came quickly, and Yuuri was acting impulsively. He knew that he would regret it later if he fell on his last jump, but he knew even more than that that he’d regret not making this one attempt. The one thing he could do to show Viktor how much he meant to him, how much being here with him meant, how important this was to him. Yuuri discarded all thoughts of the jump meant for this routine, instead pushing himself into a quadruple flip. He’d never landed one before. It was the jump Viktor was famous for. He knew this would be the perfect way to tell Viktor how much this meant to him. It definitely wasn’t perfect. Yuuri hit the ice hard, but he had enough rotations. Quickly getting back to his feet, he finished the program, his heart pounding in his chest as he silently wondered if taking the risk had been a huge mistake.

It took a while for Yuuri to make his way off the ice, finally catching his breath. He saw Viktor waiting for him, tears in his eyes and wasn’t sure what to think. Was he happy? Angry? Upset? He couldn’t be sure. Yuuri offered him a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his neck, “I guess it needs a little work, huh?”

Viktor practically pounced on Yuuri and it was all he could do to stay on his feet as his arms were filled with the warm, reassuring body of the man in front of him. He felt Viktor’s breath against his neck as he spoke, “You’re always surprising me.”

“Vitya…” He wrapped his arms tightly around him, resting his head against his shoulder, “You’ve surprised me all my life. I’ve got some catching up to do.”

Viktor laughed, pulling away to look into his eyes. It took all of Yuuri’s restraint to stop himself brushing those tears away. But just as quickly as they were there, Viktor was pulling him towards the kiss and cry, excited to hear the results of the skate. It wasn’t perfect. There were mistakes, there were things they needed to work on in training, but Yuuri knew they could do it. Together.

_“Yuuri Katsuki has earned in the free skate… 188.04, a new season’s best. His total is 298.01. He is currently in first place.”_

* * *

 

The rest of the day had gone by in a blur. JJ’s program had been absolutely perfect. He landed all his jumps, his step sequences were perfect, his spins were amazing. It wasn’t all that surprising to find JJ in first place by the end of the day. What was surprising was that Yuuri had managed to take the silver medal. He’d be going to the Grand Prix Final along with JJ and Yuri. He was still having trouble believing it had all happened.

Viktor had his arm around his waist as they headed out of the building. There was still so much to do before the final. It was surreal to think they’d gotten this far. How? How had they managed to get this far so soon? Of course, if he thought about it, it had been months. Months of hard work, training, and constant companionship from his idol. It didn’t feel like it had been that long at all, though. It all felt like a dream. If it was, though, he didn’t want to wake up. Now when things had been going so well.

“There you are!” He turned when he heard the sound of the Russian punk’s voice behind them.

“Oh, hi Yuri. Congratulations on making it to the final.” Yuuri offered him a smile.

“You got lucky today, Pork Cutlet Bowl. You barely beat me.” If looks could kill, Yuuri would be six feet under, “Don’t think I’ll let it happen at the finals, though!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those curious, the results of the Rostelecom Cup:
> 
> 1st: Jean-Jacques Leroy - SP: 113.56, FS: 184.75, Total: 298.31  
> 2nd: Yuuri Katsuki - SP: 111.97, FS: 186.04, Total: 298.01  
> 3rd: Yuri Plisetsky - SP: 98.09, FS: 199.87, Total: 297.96  
> 4th: Michele Crispino - SP: 89.65, FS: 193.24, Total: 282.89  
> 5th: Emil Nekola - SP: 82.43, FS: 189.15, Total: 271.58  
> 6th: Seung-gil Lee - SP: 91.83, FS: 164.37, Total: 256.20


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this short, fluffy little intermission before we head to Barcelona for the final!

There was almost a month between the Rostelecom Cup and the Grand Prix Final. It was time for training, time to get ready for one of the most important competitions in figure skating. Most people had gone back to their hometowns to train. Some had decided to head to Barcelona to settle in and begin training there. As for Yuuri and Viktor, they had other ideas. Of course, Yuuri did want to train. He wanted to be prepared to win the gold. But Viktor was determined to find a way to celebrate Yuuri’s birthday before they got back into training. It had taken some time, but Yuuri had eventually conceded that what he really wanted more than anything was to see Saint Petersburg through Viktor’s eyes.

It was a short trip from the venue to Viktor's house. It took no time at all, but Viktor wanted this to be something special. He didn’t want to rush through everything in a day. There was so much for Yuuri to see in Saint Petersburg, he wasn’t quite sure where to begin. Besides, Yuuri had to be exhausted from competing. They would spend a few days there, he’d decided. After all, Yuuri had been working hard for months, he was long due a break. His birthday was just the perfect excuse. It was already late by the time they had gotten to Viktor's house, and they’d decided to just sleep off the trip and start their adventure in the morning. Of course, that’s what Yuuri had thought. Viktor, on the other hand, was too excited, practically bouncing around the room as he talked about all the places they could visit while they were there. Yuuri was starting to see exactly what Yuri had meant. Keeping Viktor away from this town was cruel. There was simply no way he could take him away from this place permanently.

Yuuri was sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the wall as he thought about Yuri’s words. If he wanted to make Viktor happy, he had to let him come back here. There was no way he could keep him in Japan. But if they were apart, wouldn’t that be just as bad? He couldn’t bear the thought of being without Viktor. Not after all these months spent by each other’s sides. Still, he cared about Viktor. If he truly cared, he’d do what’s best for him, right? Even if that meant hurting himself.

“Yuuri!” Viktor’s face suddenly appeared before his own and he jumped back on the bed, nearly falling flat on his back. Viktor frowned, tilting his head to the side, “What’re you thinking about?”

Yuuri quickly shook his head, “Oh um, nothing! Nothing at all. Where uh, where are you going to take me first?” He didn’t want Viktor to worry about him. After all, he knew that Viktor was doing all of this because he wanted to make him happy. Yuuri just wanted to stop thinking and focus on being with Viktor without having to worry about training and medals for a while.

One moment, he was looking up at Viktor, the next, he was flat on his back with Viktor laying over him. He would’ve been surprised, but this seemed to be his favourite thing to do. He was always laying on Yuuri. It seemed like it was quickly becoming his part time job; Viktor Nikiforov’s personal pillow. Not that he minded, of course. Viktor was warm, and he smelled amazing, but that wasn’t something he’d ever say out loud, because no one needed to know he thought like that even though it was totally true. “I know there’s something on your mind.”

Viktor’s hair was falling to gravity, just barely tickling at Yuuri’s nose. He reached up to brush the soft locks behind Viktor’s ear, shaking his head, “No, I just… It’s kinda surreal that we’re here. I’ve always wanted to come to Saint Petersburg. Ever since I was a kid.”

“Because it’s where I grew up?” Viktor asked, smiling brightly. Yuuri would’ve thought he was being teased, but Viktor seemed genuinely curious. Sometimes he wondered if Viktor knew just how much of an impact he’d had on his life. There were so many choices he’d made in his life because of the man in front of him. Of course, Yuuri had his own passion for the ice, had his own dreams, but Viktor was a driving force. He was someone he strived to be like.

Heat rose in Yuuri’s cheeks, “I sound like such a weird fan, don’t I? I need to stop doing that.”

“Not at all. You’re my biggest fan.” Viktor leaned closer, pressing a kiss to the tip of Yuuri’s nose and smiling fondly when it scrunched up in response, “And I’m your biggest fan.”

“Don’t let Minami hear you say that.”

Viktor laughed, a beautiful sound that seemed to vibrate through his body into Yuuri’s, filling his heart with so much warmth, “It’ll be our little secret, then.”

Yuuri brushed a hand over Viktor’s arm without thinking, watching his own fingers moving along Viktor’s pale skin, “Where are you going to take me tomorrow?”

Viktor beamed his bright, heart shaped smile, “There are so many places we can go! We could go to the Winter Palace! And there’s Saint Isaac’s Cathedral!”

“Oh um…” Yuuri chewed on his lip nervously, avoiding Viktor’s eyes as he spoke, “It’s not that I’m not grateful…”

Viktor quickly caught on, brushing his fingers against Yuuri’s chin and tilting his head to meet his eyes, “That’s not where you want to go. Where do you want me to take you?”

There was so much love and affection in those sparkling blue eyes, Yuuri almost forgot to speak. He just let himself get lost in them for a moment. Taking a breath, he reluctantly looked away, “It’s just that those are all things I can do any time. When I said I wanted to see Saint Petersburg through your eyes, I meant… I want to see all your favourite places. I want to see where you go to unwind, and your favourite place to eat. I don’t care about the tourist attractions, I want to see the things that are important to you.”

 It might have sounded silly. Viktor had spent months with him in Hasetsu, living a day to day life. He saw all the things that were important to Yuuri. He met his parents, they spent every day at the ice rink he’d grown up practicing in. There really wasn’t anything more he could share with Viktor that he hadn’t already. He wanted to feel that closeness. There were so many things he didn’t know about Viktor, things that he would only be able to know if he heard it from him. The papers knew Viktor as the figure skating God. Yuuri wanted to know him as the adorable Russian man who always seemed to be brimming with energy.

Yuuri felt Viktor moving closer more than he saw it, the gentle touch of their lips meeting. As Yuuri’s eyes fluttered closed, his heart hammering in his chest, instinct kicked in. His hands reached out to the front of Viktor’s shirt, fingers gripping the fabric in an unspoken need to keep Viktor close. He felt a soft hand gently caress his cheek and let out a content sigh against Viktor’s lips. He had this effect over Yuuri. It felt like his whole body was melting into the mattress as Viktor’s free hand tangled into his hair. Everything felt so gentle, but so right, and Yuuri couldn’t bear the thought of this moment ending. Their lips parted for barely a moment before Yuuri was pulling Viktor back, his arms sliding around the Russian’s waist as he let himself get lost in the taste of Viktor’s warm, sweet breath mixing with his own. Viktor smiled against Yuuri’s lips, letting their legs intertwine, their bodies pressing closer together.

It felt like they’d been kissing forever, but not long enough, never long enough. The gentle smack of their lips parting was the only sound that filled the room, along with their gentle breaths as their heads rested together. Yuuri bit his lower lip, silently wishing he could still feel Viktor’s there. He had no idea anything could feel the way it did when Viktor kissed him. When Yuuri finally opened his eyes, he saw Viktor’s glimmering blue ones gazing lovingly back at him, “You’ve shared your life with me over the last year.” Viktor’s voice was soft, as though he was afraid to break this perfect moment between them. He brushed a kiss against Yuuri’s cheek, his temple, his nose, capturing Yuuri’s bottom lip between his own for one last short, sweet kiss. Yuuri’s breath caught in his throat, his fingers sliding up Viktor’s spine, encouraging him to just keep kissing, because there hadn’t been anything that had felt so right since the first day he’d stepped onto the ice, “Of course I want to share mine with you, Yuuri.”

* * *

 

The day had been filled with as much as Viktor could possibly think to show Yuuri about his life. They had spent it exploring the city, visiting Viktor’s favourite coffee shop, the places he spends most of his time. They had wandered through a park filled with lush green trees, a fountain towards the centre of the area. Viktor had told Yuuri about all the times he’d spent there with Makkachin over the years. It was his favourite place to take the dog for walks, or to play with him in his down time. Viktor missed it. He spent so much time training that it felt like he didn’t have any time for his beloved companion. He admitted it was one of the reasons he had enjoyed his time in retirement; being able to shower his poodle with love, to make up for all the lost time. It made Yuuri long for the days he’d spent with Vicchan.

Viktor had even taken Yuuri to the ice rink Yakov used for training, though Yuuri didn’t want to stay too long. He knew that they were training, that there was last minute practice to be had before the final. He didn’t want to distract Yuri. Still, he couldn’t help but imagine Viktor as a teenager, his long hair tied back in a ponytail as he moved along that ice, practicing his routines, _creating_ his routines. It all happened there, on that ice.

The sun was starting to set by the time they ended up sitting on the sand, watching the waves of the water. Yuuri knew Viktor liked the beach. He’d made that obvious when they were back in Hasetsu. He’d found Viktor sitting on the beach many times, though he never really questioned it before. Viktor said he missed the seagulls in Saint Petersburg, that when he heard them in Hasetsu, they reminded him of home. Now that they were sitting on the beach together, that was starting to make sense. It was a long time before either of them said anything, but eventually Viktor spoke, his eyes never leaving the horizon, “I’d always come here when I needed to think. If my routines weren’t coming together, or Yakov wasn’t listening to me, I’d come here and watch the waves. I guess it eventually just became a routine to come here every day before I went home.”

Yuuri watched Viktor as he spoke. It made sense. That’s what Ice Castle was to him. A place to go when he was anxious, a place to clear his head. Everyone needed that special place. “Is that why you would always be at the beach back in Hasetsu?”

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” Viktor smiled.

A silence fell between them, but Yuuri had so many things he needed to say. Yuri’s warning was still in his mind. Viktor would want to come back here. Keeping him in Japan wasn’t fair. It was only right to let him come back. Being apart would be so difficult, though. He couldn’t imagine not having Viktor in his life after all this time. It was something he had to think about, though. They only had one more competition to get through, and that would be it. Yuuri traced circles in the sand with his finger, speaking softly, “So… you’ll come back here after the final, right?”

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t really thought that far ahead.”

“But this is your home, right? So, of course you’d want to come back here.” Yuuri looked up at him, trying to figure out what the Russian was thinking.

“Yuuri,” Viktor reached out, resting his hand over the Japanese man’s, the pad of his thumb brushing reassuringly against his skin, “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Normally, Yuuri would’ve found some way to change the subject. He would’ve tried his best to hide his feelings, because really, he’d put Viktor through enough already. The look in those comforting eyes told Yuuri that he should talk, that Viktor wouldn’t hold anything that he said against him. Looking down at their hands, he sighed softly, “I know that you miss it here. Having you back home with me has been amazing, but you can’t stay away from Russia forever, and I could never keep you away. This place is too important to you for that. It’s just… after the final, I’m really going to miss you. I know it’s dumb, but it feels like all of this has been a dream, and I’m not ready to wake up in the onsen, all alone.”

“So, don’t.” Viktor said simply, “Stay here with me.”

“What?” Yuuri’s eyes darted to meet Viktor’s once more, trying to figure out if he was being serious. His bright smile was so sincere, Yuuri felt his heart flutter.

“I know it seems like I just act on a whim, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day I saw you skating in Sochi.” It was the single most embarrassing moment of Yuuri’s life. He’d never get over that performance, and he didn’t know why Viktor still spoke like it was a good performance. It was awful, “You’re right, staying away from Russia has been hard for me, and I don’t want to be away from you, either. So, when the final is over, come stay with me here. If you win the final, I’ll have to come back here to train with Yakov anyway.”

“You… you want me to stay here with you? Really?” It felt like he was floating, like his whole body was numb. This wasn’t what he had expected. Yuuri thought maybe Viktor would tell him that this would be a fleeting thing, that this happiness wasn’t meant to last forever. They’d spent so much time together, Yuuri had been expecting Viktor to be getting tired of having him around, not asking for him to stay.

Viktor beamed his heart shaped smile, his eyes almost childlike in his excitement, “I bet Yakov would love to train you! We could train together every day. And you could meet Mila and Georgi, too!”

“Wait! Just… slow down.” Yuuri’s head was spinning. It was so much to take in. There was so much to think about. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the idea. There were just so many things that he was unsure of. He could train away from home. He’d done it before with Coach Celestino, but he had never felt like he was intruding back then. Now, it just felt like he was pushing himself into Viktor’s life. Though, he supposed Viktor had done that to him in the first place, but this was different. This was permanent. Yuuri shifted to face Viktor, though his eyes were downcast, staring at their hands, “Where would I even live?”

“I told you, with me.”

“What?” He looked up at Viktor, seeing how confused the older man looked.

“I said stay with me.” Viktor lifted Yuuri’s hand, holding it close to his chest, “I have plenty of extra space. There’s a guest room, but you don’t have to stay there, it’s not like we’ve slept alone in weeks.”

Looking in those pale blue eyes, Yuuri could see that Viktor meant every word he was saying. This wasn’t some fluke, some spur of the moment thought that he’d regret in a week. Viktor wanted this. Viktor wanted him to stay here with him. Viktor wanted them to stay together just as much as he did. “Are you sure? You can’t say something like this to me if you don’t mean it. That’s not fair.”

Viktor chuckled, “Yuuri. I am asking you to please come and stay with me here, in Saint Petersburg once the Grand Prix Final is over.”

“Vitya…” For once, Yuuri found himself being the one to pounce on Viktor, wrapping his arms tightly around him as he rested his head against his shoulder, tears in his eyes. This wasn’t what he’d planned. He hadn’t thought anything like this was going to happen, but the thought of not being together after the final hurt. It was haunting him. Knowing that he could stay with Viktor, that none of this had to end when the circuit did, it was overwhelming.

Viktor held Yuuri close, speaking softly, “Is that a yes?”

“Don’t make it sound like a proposal.”

Viktor laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of Yuuri’s head, “One step at a time.”

“Yes. I’ll stay with you.” Yuuri held Viktor tighter, taking a stuttering breath, “Best birthday ever.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your patience with this chapter! It took me longer than I expected. We're nearing the end of our adventure. We'll see if Yuuri will be able to scrape by and claim that gold medal in the next chapter!

The life of a figure skater involved a lot of traveling. It usually meant moving to another country to train. There was the constant traveling from place to place for the sake of competitions. And of course, when the opportunity was available, there was traveling back home to see family. Throughout the traveling he’d done in his figure skating career, Yuuri had never been to Spain. He’d been to so many different places, but not here. There were a lot of things to see and do, and he truly did want to do it all. For once, he didn’t want to stay holed up in the hotel room. He wanted to see what this place had to offer. It would have to wait, though. The final was here. Yuuri had been spending all the time since their break in Russia training. This was important. It was the most important competition of his career.

As they stepped out of the hotel room, preparing to head to the arena, Yuuri stopped just outside the door. It was now or never. He’d have to tell Viktor eventually. There were some things that shouldn’t be a surprise. He looked down at the bag that was hanging over his shoulder, “Vitya, I… I’ve decided to make a change to the program, today.”

Viktor raised an eyebrow as he turned to face him, “What kind of change?”

“The last jump.” He hesitantly looked up to meet Viktor’s eyes, “I’m going to make it a quad flip.”

Viktor paused for a moment, seeming to take his time to understand this information. It was a big change, at least for Yuuri. He had only attempted the quad flip in competition once, and it hadn’t ended well. Still, Yuuri had been training. He’d been practicing that jump every day. He had only landed it a few times, but he knew he could do it. Viktor crossed his arms over his chest, watching Yuuri carefully, “Are you sure? That’s a big risk. You’ve barely landed that jump.”

He knew why he was being careful. He didn’t want to upset Yuuri like he had back in Japan. Viktor wanted to be sure that Yuuri was confident in his decision. And Yuuri wanted to prove to Viktor that this was something he could do, “It’s my only chance to match JJ’s scores. Besides, the quad flip was always the jump you were famous for. I want to land it in competition. You want me to land it, too, right?”

Viktor couldn’t hold back his smile, that beautiful, heart stopping smile that always drove Yuuri crazy. “I do. And I know you can do it.” He moved closer, no hesitation in his movements as he closed the gap between them in a gentle kiss. Ever since Russia, he’d been so much more daring, willing to show his affection in public places like this. Yuuri had to keep reminding him that they hadn’t told everyone yet, that he just had to wait a little bit longer. Only a couple of days now, in fact. After that, everyone could know, he wouldn’t have to hide it, but for right now, Yuuri had to fight the urge to indulge himself in these special moments between them. Of course, they were in an empty hotel hallway, surely it would be okay to indulge just for a moment, right?

Yuuri held Viktor close, his palm resting against his jaw, pulling away after a moment, their lips barely separated as he spoke, “We’re going to get caught if you keep doing this…” He wanted to sound annoyed, to scold Viktor and remind him that he wasn’t ready for the world to know about them yet. Still, he couldn’t help himself when he saw Viktor’s mischievous smile in response, kissing him once more.

“No kidding.”

Yuuri froze when he heard the voice at the end of the hallway, pulling away and looking over to see his best friend, phone in hand and aimed in their direction. This was both good and absolutely awful. Good, because it was Phichit. If it were most other people, they’d probably tell everyone they could, but Phichit was a good enough friend to keep it to himself. Phichit also had a habit of taking pictures of everything, though, and no doubt had already managed to snap a few of him with Viktor in that hallway. Viktor however, was making no move to step away from him. It only made the situation more awkward. Yuuri’s cheeks were bright red as he stared down at the floor, “P-Phichit, it’s not what it looks like…”

“It looks like,” He could practically hear the smirk in Phichit’s voice as he started walking towards them, “You’re making out with Viktor Nikiforov.”

Viktor frowned, “You think that’s ‘making out’? That’s adorable.”

“Viktor!” Yuuri hissed, looking between the pair of them as he tried to figure out a way to fix this situation. There was no answer, though. He really didn’t have any way to talk himself out of this. Phichit had seen them kiss. He’d seen Yuuri pull Viktor back for seconds. He’d seen it all. There was no way he could claim something innocent. Viktor certainly wasn’t making it any easier, his mischievous smile still present as he watched Yuuri’s internal panic.

“What happened to, ‘we’re just friends’?” Phichit asked, leaning against the nearby wall as he held up his phone and took another picture of them.

Viktor grinned, his eyes wide with a mixture of excitement and wonder, “You were talking about us? What did you say!?”

Phichit stepped closer, gently patting Viktor’s shoulder as he gestured to Yuuri, “I was just telling this lovesick fool that you were into him, and he refused to listen to me. Guess I was right, huh, Yuuri?”

Yuuri sighed, resting his head against the wall behind him and staring up at the ceiling. Maybe if he was lucky, the floor would open up and swallow him. Then maybe he wouldn’t have to deal with this situation. “You can’t tell anyone. You have to delete those photos.”

“I won’t tell anyone, but there’s no way I’m deleting these photos. When you two decide to tell the world, everyone’s going to want to see these.”

“Phichit!”

“Can you send me a copy?” Viktor was practically bouncing as he pulled out his phone.

“Viktor!”

“What? You look adorable. Besides, it’s not like we can take pictures of ourselves like that.” Viktor, leaned closer, kissing Yuuri’s cheek. He didn’t know how Viktor could take these situations so easily, could shrug it off like it was nothing. This was a big deal.

Yuuri looked over Viktor’s shoulder at the picture that had been sent to him. Their bodies were pressed close together in the picture, lips pressed together, but they were both smiling. They were such real, genuine smiles, and Phichit had even managed to capture the moment Yuuri had brought his hand up to Viktor’s face in the next picture. He sighed softly, resting his head against Viktor’s shoulder and mumbling into his coat, “Fine. You can keep them.”

* * *

 

It wouldn’t be a Grand Prix Final without some nerves, and nothing made Yuuri more nervous than having to be the first to perform. Standing in the centre of the ice, he heard the music start, and moved into his step sequence without much thought. The thing Yuuri really loved about the programs he got to perform were that they felt like an extension of himself. He didn’t feel like he had to focus so much on what to do next. He could instead think about the emotions, what the music and the movements made him feel. He didn’t have to have his mind on the program. Instead, Yuuri was reminding himself of who he was skating for, what this skate meant to him. This would help decide if he would be able to get a gold medal. He had to have a more than perfect skate if he wanted to beat JJ’s score.

The program felt almost simple as he went through the jumps, heading towards his biggest challenge. The quad flip was the hardest jump Yuuri had ever attempted. He didn’t know how Viktor made it look so flawless and easy. He had been attempting it ever since Rostelecom, and had barely managed to land it, but it was his only hope if he wanted to win the gold, and this was so much bigger than him. He needed the gold. He needed Viktor to return to competitive skating.

The jump had started out well. It felt more stable than the jumps he’d attempted in training. His rotations were correct, but as he landed back on the ice, Yuuri felt his balance give way, and touched a hand on the ice to stay upright. The routine quickly came to an end, and Yuuri stood at the centre of the ice once more, his head reeling with thoughts. Thoughts of failure. He had made a mistake, a mistake big enough to cost him the gold. He wasn’t going to be able to win gold with a routine like that. It had to be better than perfect. If he had just managed to land that jump without touching the ice, maybe it would’ve been okay, but he didn’t. He messed up. He messed up, and it was going to cost him the medal, he knew it was. If he had just gotten it right, Viktor would come back to skating, but now he wouldn’t. Yuuri was sure that one mistake, the fraction of a second of instability was going to ruin everything, and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

Yuuri slowly made his way to the kiss and cry, where Viktor was waiting for him, but he was barely listening to anything. His mind was just swirling with the thought of his mistake, of how many points it would cost him. As he sat down beside Viktor, he rested his elbows on his knees, pressing his head into his hands as he waited to hear his results. He didn’t want to know. Not really. It wasn’t going to tell him how well he did. It was going to tell him how far behind he was. He felt Viktor’s arm wrap around his waist but didn’t move. It didn’t make him feel any better. He was going to fail this man, this wonderful man who had made his life more bearable.

_“Yuuri Katsuki has earned in the short program… 97.83. He is currently in first place.”_

* * *

 

Yuuri didn’t have much time to watch Phichit perform, he was quickly swept away into a bunch of interviews. He had tried to avoid them as much as he could throughout the circuit, but he knew he couldn’t avoid it forever. What he did hear was the audience clapping to the music. He could hear that Phichit had them enthralled. And he heard as the announcement declared that Phichit Chulanont’s score for the short program was 95.73, a new season’s best. There was something frustrating about having to do these interviews, knowing that he was missing out on watching the other skaters. Of course, part of him was grateful. After the skate he’d had, he didn’t want to think about how far behind he was, or how well the other skaters were doing. Still, he’d missed his best friend, and even as he was talking to the last interviewer, he was missing Yuri’s performance, too.

It was reaching the end of Yuri’s routine when he had finally managed to get away from the press, they now instead choosing to hound Phichit. It took him some time to actually find Viktor, but when he did, it wasn’t quite what he was expecting. Viktor was watching Yuri’s performance from the sidelines, an air of unease seeming to radiate from him. It was impossible to tell what Viktor was thinking. What was Yuri’s routine like for him to be like this?

It took Yuuri a moment to get himself to take another step towards him, “V-Vitya…?”

He was worried. How could he not be? Viktor Nikiforov was a lot of things, but he was always so full of life, especially at these competitions. He always seemed so excited to see the other skaters, to watch them, to critique them, and of course, to praise them and their achievements. But that’s not what Yuuri was seeing here. There was something else, something he couldn’t quite figure out. Viktor tore his eyes away from the ice just long enough to look over at Yuuri, sending him a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He finally worked up the courage to close the distance between them, and Yuuri was suddenly throwing caution to the wind. He knew this was meant to be their little secret, but how could he not be worried about Viktor when he saw him like this? How could he hold himself back when all he wanted to do was figure out what had Viktor’s whole demeanor shifting like this and what he could do to fix it. Yuuri reached out, brushing the silvery hair from Viktor’s eyes, looking into the soft blue gaze, “What’s wrong?”

Viktor’s body language seemed to shift, his smile reaching his eyes as he looked into Yuuri’s, and before he knew it, the Russian was wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him towards the stands, “Nothing’s wrong. Come on, let’s find a seat.”

_“Yuri Plisetsky has earned in the short program… 118.56, a new record and season’s best. He is currently in first place.”_

It suddenly made sense. Viktor had held the world records for both short program and free skate scores for so long, but Yuri had taken his place. Yuri now held the short skate record. He’d beaten Viktor’s personal best. Without thinking, Yuuri was reaching to link his arm with Viktor’s, leaning into him as they found themselves a seat among other skaters. Mila and Sara were there, as well as Isabella. There were only three skaters left to perform. It felt like it was going by so quickly, but Yuuri’s mind was still reeling. As Chris began his skate, his mind was elsewhere. He couldn’t stop himself thinking about his own mistake, but it was more than that. He couldn’t begin to understand what Viktor was feeling now. He had held the record for so long, and it had been taken away from him. Yuuri wanted to make it better for him, to tell him that it would be okay, but Viktor seemed to be doing his best to pretend it didn’t happen, to just focus on the skating.

Yuuri rested his head against Viktor’s shoulder as he watched Chris move along the ice, showing off as much eros as he possibly could. He would’ve been jealous of the way Viktor smiled as he watched his friend, but he knew that smile. That was a smile of pride. He was proud of his friend. It wasn’t the same smile Viktor had when Yuuri skated.

“They’re going to need to clean the ice again.” Mila remarked as Chris finished his routine, causing Viktor to laugh. Yuuri was so grateful to her. That one simple sound was enough to tell him that maybe everything was going to be fine, that Viktor wasn’t going to let the loss of his record ruin him.

_“Chris Giacometti has earned in the short program… 102.37. He is currently in second place.”_

“Davai!” Yuuri jumped as he heard Yuri yell from behind him. He hadn’t even realised Yuri was there, but he was quickly making himself comfortable among the other skaters, his eyes on the man now standing on the ice. Yuuri looked back at the ice to see Otabek Altin looking Yuri’s way, holding his thumb up and if he looked closely, he was sure he could see a smile tugging at the skater’s lips. The group sitting in the stands all stared back at Yuri. It wasn’t like him to cheer for other skaters. He never really seemed to care before. Yuri noticed the others watching him and frowned, “What?”

“I didn’t know you’d made a little friend, Yura.” Mila smiled sweetly at him, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Shut up, Babi.” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he sunk down in his seat, watching as Otabek’s routine began.

Yuuri hadn’t ever properly watched Otabek skate before. He had seen him make it to the podium beside Viktor in the past, but he’d never actually had the opportunity to watch and take in the way he skates. He had a style all his own. Perhaps he lacked in expression at times, at least facially, but his movements were in perfect time to the music, his jumps flawless. He didn’t seem to be quite as flexible as most other skaters, but it didn’t matter. He made the choreography his own. He made big jumps, and he didn’t let it hold him back.

Otabek moved gracefully along the ice, completing a flawless short program, though he looked exhausted by the end of it. Maybe stamina wasn’t one of his strong points. Yuuri couldn’t be sure. It may have something to do with his lack of flexibility, or maybe he had just pushed himself harder than he normally would have. Whatever the reason, the skate was perfect. He couldn’t have done any better than he had. Mila was already teasing Yuri as Otabek made his way to the kiss and cry. Clearly the young blond had been smiling to himself as he watched Otabek, and she couldn’t resist the opportunity to mess with him.

_“Otabek Altin has earned in the short program… 112.83. He is currently in second place.”_

“Looks like someone else has you beat, piggy.” Yuri smirked.

Yuuri might’ve said something, but he knew he had messed up. Badly. He had a lot of ground to make up in the free skate. Suddenly Isabella was shifting to the edge of her seat, and Yuuri was sure she’d be bouncing on the spot if not for holding back her excitement, “It’s JJ’s turn!”

“No one cares.” Yuri spoke up from behind them.

Watching the ice, Yuuri heard a light slap behind him, no doubt Mila. Viktor spoke up next to him, “Yurachka.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled as he slid back down in his seat.

It took no time at all for the crowd to start clapping along to the music. After all, this music seemed to quickly be turning into JJ’s trademark. Yuuri glanced over at Isabella sitting beside him, seeing how happy she was as she clapped along to the music. There were a lot of things not to like about JJ. He wasn’t the nicest of competitors, condescending to a lot of his fellow skaters, but Isabella adored him. This sweet woman who Yuuri had only met a few times, had fallen completely for him. It wasn’t just looks or fame that had her heart. She talked about how sweet he was to her, how funny, or kind, how insecure he could be, how they took care of each other. If he made this woman feel all these things, maybe he really wasn’t as bad as he seemed.

Turning back to watch the skate, it didn’t take long to see that things were going wrong. Quads became triples, triples became doubles. He was landing his jumps, but they weren’t the jumps he wanted to be doing. Even his combinations were becoming single jumps. It was so reminiscent of the mistakes Yuuri had made back in Sochi. The only difference was that JJ wasn’t giving up, and the crowd all seemed to be completely behind him, clapping and singing along to the music. Looking back to Isabella, he could see the tears in her eyes as she kept encouraging JJ to keep skating. Without thinking, Yuuri started clapping, too. It was the only thing he could think to do. Isabella was hurting as she did her best to reassure the man she loved, the man who was trying so hard to keep skating, to not give up. Yuuri wanted to be there for her, but more than that. He wanted to be there for JJ, too. He’d been there before. He knew how painful it was to have your routine fall apart at the seams.

It was a painfully long short program, but it eventually came to an end, the crowd silent for a moment. The moment ended quickly, though, JJ fans cheering for the man who had kept skating despite the failures. It wasn’t going to be a good score. Anyone could see that, but JJ never gave up. He wanted to finish that skate, to do the best that he could, to make the best of a bad situation. Even the wait for the score felt like an eternity, everyone watching the kiss and cry in anticipation.

_“Jean-Jacques Leroy has earned in the short program… 86.71. He is currently in sixth place.”_

Yuuri had never seen him looking so defeated. It was like looking in a mirror, seeing himself sitting in the kiss and cry in Sochi, his head in his hands as he heard his results. The silence was suddenly broken, though. Isabella got to her feet, practically bouncing on the spot as she clapped and chanted, “JJ! JJ! JJ! JJ!”

She wasn’t holding back her tears anymore. Yuuri looked back to see JJ looking directly at her. It was like he was seeing an ethereal creature. Isabella would never give up on him. She’d always believe in him. Yuuri got to his feet, bumping his shoulder against Isabella’s to reassure her before he joined her in chanting. It didn’t take long for the whole crowd to join in. A crowd of people dedicated to one skater, to telling him that despite his failures, he was enough, and they still believed in him. Yuuri couldn’t begin to imagine how that must feel. If he had someone like Isabella back in Sochi, maybe things would’ve been different. He couldn’t be sure, but he never wanted another skater to feel the things he had, even if it was JJ.

“Shut up!” Yuri cried from behind them, his hands over his ears, but he was drowned out by the crowd. Mila, Sara, even Viktor had gotten to their feet and joined in the chant. It stopped being about reassuring JJ. It was so much more than that. Skaters and skating enthusiasts, they were all coming together to cheer for a performance, no matter how bad or good it had gone.

JJ finally stood up, shooting his trademark ‘JJ’ signs with his fingers and causing the crowd to erupt into cheers. He wasn’t going to let this defeat him. That much was sure. Yuuri suddenly felt arms wrap around his waist, but it wasn’t the Russian he was expecting. Instead, he felt Isabella’s head resting against his shoulder, “Thank you, Yuuri…”


	16. Chapter 16

“Yuuri?” Viktor’s voice broke the silence of the hotel room.

It was late. Yuuri really wasn’t sure what time it was. The room was filled with darkness, the only light coming from the twinkling of city lights outside their window. Yuuri had lost track of everything when Viktor had begun playing with his hair. He was lost in his own thoughts, but he couldn’t possibly ignore that feeling, that familiarity. Viktor still somehow made him feel comfortable even when he was lost in his own mind. Reluctantly, Yuuri glanced over at the man laying next to him, “Hm?”

“Why are you still awake? What are you thinking about?”

Yuuri shook his head, looking back to the ceiling, “Nothing.”

“Yuuri,” Viktor reached out a hand, resting it against his cheek as he tilted his face back to look into his eyes, “You know you can talk to me. What kind of lover would I be if you couldn’t come to me with your problems?”

Viktor’s touch was soft, comforting. Still, listening to him, Yuuri blushed, “Lover?”

“It sounds romantic to say it like that.” He shrugged, smiling as he shifted himself closer, his fingers moving back into Yuuri’s hair, “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

There were a lot of things that were wrong, but he really didn’t want to force all his worries onto Viktor. There was just so much to think about. In the morning, they would be heading to the venue, Yuuri would be completing his last performance for the Grand Prix Circuit. It would decide whether Viktor would be returning to competitive skating. There was so much riding on that final skate. Yuuri sighed softly, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get you that gold medal…”

“Hey,” Before Yuuri knew what was happening, Viktor had wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him to his chest. He let out a surprised squeak, his hands bracing himself on Viktor’s chest, “You can still win the gold, but I don’t want you to think about that.”

Yuuri looked up into those eyes that always seemed to reassure him, even in his darkest moments. Viktor’s smile was so sweet, so genuine, but Yuuri couldn’t stop thinking that he could easily let him down with his program, “If I don’t get the gold, you won’t come back to competitive skating…”

Viktor’s fingers tangled through Yuuri’s hair, moving gently through the dark locks. It was such a simple thing, but it was enough to make Yuuri melt against him, moving closer still without even realising it. Viktor’s touch had been both calming and exhilarating since the moment they met. It simultaneously made Yuuri’s heart race and settled his nerves, and it was no different as those slender fingers carded through his hair, “Stop thinking about the deal. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It’s the reason you’re here.”

“You don’t really still think that, do you?” Viktor seemed genuinely surprised, “I spent a year thinking about you before I came to find you. The deal was the perfect excuse, but it’s not why I’m here. I’m here for you.”

“But…”

“Yuuri. I fell in love with your passion. Then I went to Hasetsu and fell in love with your skating, and your determination.” Viktor smiled his heart warming smile as he looked into Yuuri’s eyes, making sure he knew that everything he was saying was sincere, “And the more time I spent with you, the more love I felt.”

It was the sweetest thing anyone had every said to Yuuri, and it was coming from the person who meant the most to him. There were tears in his eyes as he wrapped his arms tightly around the man in front of him, burying his face in his chest. His voice was muffled against him when he finally spoke, “I want to keep skating with you forever. So, I have to win.”

* * *

 

Though the warm up skate had gone well, Yuuri couldn’t help but notice a certain blond Russian looking even more annoyed than usual. Of course, he was always a little angry, but there was something more there this time. It was obvious, at least to someone who knew him. The problem was that Yuri was not the kind of person who talked about his feelings, so there was no way he’d be able to find out exactly what it was that had him so worked up. As it was, Yuuri didn’t have the time to dwell on it, realising that JJ was first up to skate and Isabella would no doubt need someone to lean on in case things went the same way they had in the short program.

As Yuuri stepped off the ice, slipping on his skate guards, he rested a hand on Viktor’s shoulder to steady himself, “Can you try to talk to Yuri? I think something’s wrong.”

Viktor raised an eyebrow, “You think _I_ can get through to him?”

“I don’t know, but I need to get to Isabella before JJ starts.” Yuuri shrugged, gently squeezing Viktor’s shoulder before he turned away, heading towards the stands. He didn’t have much time to find her. JJ was already making his way towards the centre of the ice.

Yuuri had changed a lot over the last eight months. He used to be afraid to talk to the other skaters, afraid to open up to anyone at all. Yet here he was, searching out Isabella, determined to be there for his new friend as she watched JJ perform. He had been through the pain of a skate like JJ’s short program, but he’d never had to feel the pain of watching someone he cared about going through it. He couldn’t begin to imagine that feeling, and he didn’t want Isabella to go through that alone. She was strong, she was JJ’s rock, but even she needed someone to lean on.

The skate had already started by the time he finally caught sight of her, though she was too focused on the man moving along the ice to notice Yuuri. He quickly made his way up the steps until he was sitting at her side, gently nudging their shoulders together. The contact was enough to wake her from her daze, glancing over at him and offering him a bright smile before pulling Yuuri into a tight hug, “You didn’t have to sit with me.”

“We’ve got to look out for each other, right?” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, turning to watch as JJ landed a quad toe, triple toe loop combination. He was certainly doing better than he had the day before, though he could tell he still wasn’t as into his performance as he had been back at the Rostelecom Cup.

“He’s still beating himself up about the short program.” Though Isabella was speaking, her eyes were back on JJ, watching as he landed a triple axel, “He doesn’t think he deserves the support.”

“Everyone deserves support. Getting this far is achievement enough.” Yuuri frowned as he watched JJ begin his step sequence, thinking about what Isabella was saying. It was all the feelings he’d gone through back in Sochi. Things were different now, though. He was stronger. But he really thought that JJ would be stronger than this, too. Maybe he really wasn’t as tough as he made people believe.

“That’s what I told him, but he says he wants to be a man I can be proud to marry, and that he needs to get me a gold medal to prove that. I’ve told him so many times I’m proud to have him as he is, but this is what he wants. All I can do is watch him and support him.”

Yuuri looked back to the woman sitting beside him, her blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she thought about the inner turmoil the man she loved was going through as he moved on the ice. She was so much stronger than anyone Yuuri had ever met before, “He’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m lucky to have him.” She smiled as JJ stepped out of his quadruple toe loop, his hand touching the ice.

It didn’t matter that he’d made mistakes. It didn’t matter that he was clawing his way back to the podium, that there was little hope for him to get gold. She loved him. She just wanted him to do what made him happy. Seeing him on the ice was enough for her. As the program came to an end, she got to her feet, applauding and cheering, the tears finally slipping from her eyes.

“You should go meet him at the kiss and cry.” Yuuri suggested, watching as JJ began to skate off the ice.

“And leave you on your own?”

Yuuri shook his head, “It’s fine. I need to find Viktor. Besides, it’ll be my turn to skate soon.”

He could tell she wanted to be there for JJ, she wanted to reassure him that his performance had been amazing. Truthfully, it had been. Sure, there were mistakes, but it was still a good program. He still did the best he could, and no one could deny his presence on the ice. Isabella pulled Yuuri into another hug, “Good luck. If JJ can’t win the gold, I hope you can.”

Just as quickly as the hug began, she was rushing towards the kiss and cry. Yuuri didn’t have many friends, but Isabella was one of the kinder people he’d ever met. Even though he was competing against the person who meant the most to her, she was still there for him just as much. And even as JJ’s world seemed to be crumbling in around him, she was there to pick up the pieces. As the screen above the ice showed a close up of JJ sitting at the kiss and cry, Isabella came into view, practically jumping into his arms. It didn’t matter if he won a medal or not that day. He already had something much more important, that much was obvious.

_“Jean-Jacques Leroy has earned in the free skate…212.42, giving him a total of 299.13. He is currently in first place.”_

It was a better score than Yuuri had expected, but it was deserved. He had only messed up two of his jumps, and he had still managed to land them. With his program having such high potential for technical points, it made sense. Yuuri would have to do well in the free skate to maintain his place above JJ. It wouldn’t be easy, but he wasn’t giving up. He still had a chance.

Yuuri was heading backstage as Phichit made his way to the centre of the ice. Backstage was quiet. The room felt so big and empty. All the skaters seemed more interested in watching the others perform than their last minute warmups. Yuuri could understand it. He just wanted to get this over with. He caught sight of Viktor in the corner of the room, standing beside Yuri as the young boy stretched his legs.

“It’s none of your business, so just stay out of it, old man!”

“You really think you can skate to your full potential when you’re all worked up like this?” Viktor frowned, but his words only seemed to fuel Yuri’s anger.

“Just you watch, I’m taking the gold medal and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

Yuri stormed out of the room before Yuuri had a chance to say anything, watching wide-eyed. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve said even if he had managed to get any words out. Whatever had Yuri so worked up was still weighing on his mind. Viktor sighed, walking out of the room, “Come on, Yuuri. You’re up soon.”

“No luck with Yuri?” He sighed softly as he followed Viktor towards the rink, just in time to see Phichit landing a quadruple toe loop.

“You know how stubborn he is. Whatever it is, he won’t talk until he’s ready. If he ever is ready.” Viktor leaned on the barrier as they watched Phichit perform. He was a different skater from the one Yuuri had spent so much time training with. He was even more determined than before, and even more talented. Phichit had earned his way here, the underdog that many didn’t expect to make it this far. It was amazing to watch him perform, to see his smile as he made his way along the ice, sharing his love for the sport. Everyone had a reason to skate. For some, it was all about winning, for others, it was proving themselves. For Phichit, it was the intense need to show people how much fun figure skating could be. As Phichit landed his final combination; a triple flip, single loop, double flip, Yuuri smiled to himself. It felt good to see his friend having so much fun.

Phichit’s performance had come to an end much faster than Yuuri had expected. Or maybe he’d just missed most of it when he went looking for Viktor. Seeing his friend so happy on the ice was all he needed, though. It didn’t matter what the score was. Phichit had skated his best, and he deserved to be proud. Maybe he couldn’t do as many quads as most of the others, but he had a style all his own on the ice. That meant much more than some technical points.

_“Phichit Chulanont has earned in the free skate… 193.83, giving him a total of 289.56. He is currently in second place.”_

“Yuuri,” Viktor rested his hand over Yuuri’s on the barrier as he prepared to make his way to the centre of the ice, “I want you to bare your soul on the ice today, just like you did back in Russia. You can win the gold, I know you can.”

That Russian accent saying his name always seemed to have a soothing effect. Yuuri was nervous, of course he was. It wasn’t because he didn’t think he could do this, though. He was just so scared of letting Viktor down. Instinctively, he threaded their fingers together, “I’m skating for you. Don’t forget that, okay?”

It was almost disappointing to have to let go of Viktor’s hand, but his skate was about to begin. He had to be at the centre of the ice. Taking his position, he waited for the music to begin. Viktor Nikiforov was a man full of surprises. That was one of the first things Yuuri noticed about him when he first started watching him skate. He never liked to do things the easy way, and he always wanted to surprise his audience. Yuuri had spent many years wondering how often people had surprised Viktor. He’d spent even more time wishing he could be the one to surprise him. Yuuri knew that now was the time to do that.

His first jump was a quadruple toe loop, double toe loop combination. Yuuri landed it without any issues, continuing to glide along the ice as he thought about the man who was watching from afar. Viktor had surprised people in so many ways, but Yuuri had never been more surprised than the day he had walked into his life, demanding answers for his lack of appearance in Fukuoka. Every day since had been an adventure. He never knew what to expect, and normally that would terrify him, but Yuuri knew it was different with Viktor around. When he was there, the unknown excited him. Landing his quad salchow, Yuuri felt the nerves start to fade, his mind completely preoccupied with the Russian who had changed his life over the course of the last eight months.

Viktor had shown him so much love. Yuuri was never very good at showing his affection to others. He always found these things easier on the ice, so that was exactly what he was going to use this free skate for. The next jump was a triple toe loop, but Yuuri changed his position, instead landing a triple flip. He hadn’t talked to Viktor about his desire to change the components of his skate that day. He didn’t want to tell him. It meant more for Viktor to watch and experience the program with him. Because truthfully, this program was so much more than a routine. It was something they created together, something filled with life, and love, and all the emotions Yuuri had been too afraid to share. His triple axel was flawless, moving into the next components of his skate.

Viktor Nikiforov was so much more than his idol. His words were ringing in his ears as he moved along the ice. _The more time I spent with you, the more love I felt_. Yuuri understood completely. His love for Viktor had grown more and more with every moment they shared together, so much that it scared him at first. He didn’t know what the emotions were, he just knew that things felt right with Viktor at his side. Another jump was coming up; a triple flip. Instead, Yuuri performed a quadruple toe loop. Every moment he spent with Viktor was precious to him, but there was fear that came with it. A fear that once this circuit was over, Viktor wouldn’t skate anymore, he wouldn’t be able to share this with him anymore. Yuuri wasn’t just skating for himself. He stopped skating for himself a long time ago. This was so much bigger than him. He was skating for Viktor, for his need to see him back on the ice, for Viktor to see how much he meant to him.

The triple axel, single loop, triple salchow combination went perfectly, and Yuuri was quickly moving into his next combination, the triple lutz, triple loop. So far, things had been flawless. All that was left was a step sequence and one more jump. He could do this. The final jump was a quadruple toe loop, but Yuuri was going to change it to the flip. He’d yet to land it without a mistake. It was a big risk, but one he was determined to take. After all, it was a risk for Viktor to come to Hasetsu. It was a risk for him to help him train. It was a risk to kiss him in that hotel room. Viktor had taken so many risks for him. Yuuri needed him to know how much love he felt, and what better way than to land the jump Viktor became famous for? As the step sequence came to an end, Yuuri did his best to settle his nerves, finally attempting the quadruple flip.

It felt like he was in the air for so much longer than he really was. His mind was racing, but all his thoughts were focused on one thing; showing Viktor how important he really was. As his blades landed back on the ice, it barely registered in Yuuri’s mind that he’d done it. He landed the quad flip. He hadn’t faltered, he hadn’t touched the ice. He did it. As the music came to an end, Yuuri finally felt the exhaustion from his performance hit him. He rested his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath as the crowd cheered. This was his best, the best he could possibly have done. All he could do now was wait for the results.

“Yuuri!” He looked over at the sound of his name to see Viktor standing at the edge of the ice with his arms outstretched and a wide, heart shaped smile. Yuuri had never wanted to get off the ice as quickly as he did in that moment. He wanted to be close to Viktor, to make sure he understood everything he was trying to say with that skate. The second he was close enough, Viktor was wrapping him up in his arms, that warm comforting feeling surrounding him, filling his senses, “You were amazing.”

 Yuuri sighed happily as he leaned into Viktor, closing his eyes and letting himself find comfort in him, “I just wanted you to know how I feel.”

“Message received.” Viktor chuckled, moving his arm to wrap around Yuuri’s waist as he guided him towards the kiss and cry, “I feel the same way.”

Sitting at the kiss and cry felt so daunting all of a sudden. This was going to be the last time he’d be there for the circuit. This was the last time they would judge his skating. This was his last chance to bring Viktor back to competitive skating.

_“Yuuri Katsuki has earned in the free skate… 221.58, a new record and season’s best. His total is 319.41. He is currently in first place.”_

It felt like time had stood still. That score. It wasn’t possible. He had beaten Viktor’s world record. He knew he should be happy, that he had a chance to win the gold, but he knew it must’ve hurt Viktor to have his record beaten. Again. He hesitantly looked over at Viktor to see his beaming smile, “I… I’m so sorry…”

Viktor shook his head, wrapping Yuuri up in his arms again, “Don’t be, I’m so proud of you. You earned that score, you were perfect.”

“You’ll have to come back to the ice to beat it.” Yuuri smiled, looking up at Viktor, though he knew that was asking a lot. He just wanted Viktor to come back. More than anything, he wanted to see Viktor skating competitively again.

Viktor smirked, “That depends on our deal.”

* * *

 

They had missed most of Chris’ skate. Yuuri had wanted to watch him, but the press was having a field day with the news of a new record. There were countless people rushing up, asking for pictures, or interviews. Yuuri had humoured them at first but was starting to get tired of it. He just wanted to watch the last few skaters. He may have gotten the new record, but it didn’t mean he’d won yet. Otabek was standing at the centre of the ice when Yuuri finally managed to tear himself away from the crowd. He spotted Yuri standing by the barrier, watching Otabek with a frown. Maybe it wasn’t so hard to figure out what had him so worked up.

Yuuri stood beside the young blond, watching as Otabek started moving through his routine, landing his first jump; a quadruple toe loop. He seemed determined, though that was nothing new. Yuuri had never seen a skater filled with as much determination as Otabek, though Yuri was a close second. It was as he landed his triple salchow, triple toe loop combination that Yuri groaned in frustration, muttering under his breath, “Stubborn idiot.”

“What? He landed it perfectly.” Yuuri was genuinely confused as he watched Otabek’s performance, trying to figure out what he had done to cause the Russian so much frustration.

“He just needs to take my advice, but he’s too much of an idiot to realise I’m right.”

“What advice?”

Yuri decided to ignore the question, focusing on watching Otabek’s performance. He gritted his teeth as the skater landed a triple axel, cupping his hands over his mouth as he called out, “Beka, just do it!”

“Beka?” Yuuri asked curiously.

“Shut up, piggy.”

The next jump was a quad salchow, but that didn’t seem to phase Yuri. So far, he’d done everything just as he’d planned. The components remained as they should be. Yuuri still couldn’t figure out what had the blond so wound up, but it was clear it was something about Otabek’s routine. His triple flip, single loop, triple salchow combination came out well and he continued to move along the ice. There was only one more jump left.

“Last chance, Beka…” Yuri murmured more to himself than anyone else, his eyes glued to the ice as the performance continued. That was when it happened. Yuuri watched as Otabek moved into his last jump. A triple loop had been planned, but instead, Otabek landed a quadruple loop. It wasn’t perfect. The landing was a little sloppy, but it was at the end of his program. He’d get bonus points all the same. Yuri’s frown disappeared, replaced by a bright smile. Yuuri had never seen him smile like that, so genuinely happy.

As Otabek’s program came to an end, the crowd cheered. It was an almost flawless performance. The last jump was the only flaw, but it was still done well enough to boost his score. The moment Otabek stepped off the ice, Yuri was in his face, “Don’t ever question my ideas again!”

Otabek nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “Thanks.”

“I’ll see you on the podium.” Yuri stepped passed him, making his way onto the ice.

“Yuri, Davai!” Otabek called after him, earning another smile from the Russian.

It all made sense now. Yuri knew that Otabek could make the most of JJ’s failings in the short program. He knew that Otabek could make it onto the podium if he just took a risk and added an extra quad to his performance. Of course, they had to wait for the results to know for sure if he had managed to beat the Canadian’s score. It would be close. Otabek’s sloppy landing would make it even closer.

Yuuri watched the skater as he sat at the kiss and cry with his coach, his expression impossible to interpret.

_“Otabek Altin has earned in the free skate… 187.03, giving him a total of 299.41. He is currently in second place.”_

With Yuri the only skater left, Otabek and Yuuri were both guaranteed a spot on the podium. It was Yuri who would determined where they would end up, though. He’d never felt so nervous watching the Russian perform before, but as the music started, it was like Yuuri’s heart was beating out of his chest.

Yuri’s first jump was a quad salchow. He landed it perfectly. It wasn’t all that surprising, really. Yuri may have been fifteen, but he was a force of nature. Every time Yuuri saw him skate, he’d somehow gotten better. During his triple axel, Yuri raised an arm, only boosting his points for difficulty. There was something about Yuri. His balance was incredible. Yuuri had never seen someone do so many jumps with raised arms, but after the short program, he knew the Russian was capable of just about anything. His triple flip was just as flawless. All eyes were on the boy making the ice his own. It was impossible to look away. The next jump was a quad toe loop. It took everyone by surprise when Yuri fell, but he was back on his feet in seconds, continuing the program as though the fall had never happened. It was a small mistake, but it could cost him.

Yuuri felt like he was watching his future being determined right before his eyes. Maybe he was. Yuri’s performance would determine for him if he would get the gold, if Viktor would come back to competitive skating. It was all down to Yuri Plisetsky. His next jump was a combination; quad salchow, triple toe loop. Yuri landed them perfectly with both arms raised, making up for the mistake with his last jump. There was a mixture of fear, anticipation, and excitement as Yuuri watched him, landing his quad toe, double toe combination. Yuri only had one more combination left. The performance had been almost perfect. He watched with bated breath as Yuri attempted his final combination. The triple axel, single loop, double salchow landed just as it should have, and Yuri began the motions to finish his routine.

It would be close. Yuuri knew it would be close. There was a chance he could still get the gold. Yuri’s fall could’ve been enough for Yuuri to push through. Only time would tell. He watched as the Russian made his way to the kiss and cry. Yuuri had felt anxious many times in his life, but this was probably the worst. The anticipation was going to kill him. In just seconds, he would be finding out if Viktor would be returning to the ice.

_“Yuri Plisetsky has earned in the free skate…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGARRRRR. I wasn't going to do a cliffhanger here, but I saw an opportunity and I took it. We're nearing the end. We have the gala and the banquet still to come, are you excited? I AM! :D


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the tooth rotting fluff finale! The results for the Final will be listed below.

Yuuri looked down at the medal in his hands, watching as it shimmered in the light. He had only gotten to the Grand Prix Final once before, and it ended miserably. This was the first time he’d gotten a medal at such an important event. He turned the medal over in his hands, just watching the way the light reflected off it. It was an achievement he never thought he’d be able to accomplish, but there he was. So why did it feel so bittersweet? Why wasn’t he happy?

“Yuuri. You’re up next.” He looked up at the sound of Viktor’s voice, offering him a small smile. The gala was always his favourite part of these events. They didn’t have to think about scores. It was all about enjoying their love of skating, of sharing it with the audience. He looked back down at the medal in his hands, and Viktor seemed to catch on to what he was thinking about. Closing the space between them, Viktor rested his hand over Yuuri’s on the medal, speaking softly, “You hold the world record for the free skate. You were less than half a point off Yuri’s score. It may not be a gold medal, but you proved that you’re worth gold.”

Yuuri knew Viktor was trying to make him feel better, but it wasn’t about that for him. Not at all. It was about Viktor returning to competitive skating. He wanted to see him skating like that again, skating with purpose, with determination, with a need to show the world exactly what he was capable of. Coming second meant he lost, it meant he let Viktor down. Maybe Viktor had asked for him to stay with him in Russia, maybe it didn’t mean the end of their time together, but it meant the end of seeing Viktor skate the way he had all those years. It meant the end of a career that had inspired Yuuri since he was thirteen. Yuuri pulled Viktor closer, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, “Are you sure about this?”

“Positive. This will be the best exhibition ever.” He smiled, pulling away just enough to look into Yuuri’s eyes, “Always surprise the audience, right?”

Yuuri chuckled softly, “Yeah, but this is going to be a pretty big surprise.”

“Even better.” He glanced over at the doorway as they heard cheering, signalling that the last performance had just ended, “You’re up.”

Yuuri carefully slipped his medal in his bag with the rest of his things, taking a shaky breath, “Right.”

The exhibition was Viktor’s chance to surprise the world one more time. That’s the way Yuuri had seen it, but in a way, he was surprising them, too. Besides, he really did love the idea. Practicing the routine had been more fun than he cared to admit, even if he hadn’t been as graceful as he’d have hoped while they were training. This routine wasn’t about the points, though. It was about sharing his love on the ice. As the music started, Yuuri began to move along the ice as he had every time they practiced this. It was easy music to lose yourself in, and it really didn’t take long to fall into the pattern he’d gotten used to. The first jump, a quad salchow, had been easy enough to perform. Yuuri knew that they’d talked about making the next jump a quad flip, but this wasn’t about points, and he didn’t want to risk messing this routine up. This felt too important for that. Instead, he landed a triple flip, hearing the crowd cheer as he continued to move along the ice.

The moment was coming up, and Yuuri really couldn’t help but smile as he thought about it. Landing one more jump, he instinctively reached out before he even saw Viktor skating to his side. The crowd’s cheers grew louder, and Yuuri silently hoped Viktor would understand just how much it meant to everyone to see him on the ice again. As Viktor’s hand took his own, they moved to the music together, going through the routine they’d spent months preparing. Yuuri was glad they had practiced it as much as they had, because there had been plenty of mistakes at the start. Having Viktor so close, touching his sides, holding him off the ice, putting all his trust in him; it was distracting. There had been plenty of times Viktor had brushed a hand over his hip in practice and he’d lost his balance, falling and sometimes taking Viktor with him. Yuuri wanted this to be perfect, though. This was important.

One thing Yuuri had learned from this program was how much he loved skating with Viktor. Practicing together was one thing, but skating together, holding each other close, sharing the ice together; it was something different. It required a connection. Yuuri never felt closer to Viktor than when they were on the ice together, moving in time, keeping each other upright as they performed. Yuuri would put his faith in Viktor as he leaned into him, letting his skates slide out from under him on the ice. There were things they couldn’t do alone on the ice, things they could only do together. There was something so special about sharing the space, putting their trust in each other.

Viktor joining him for the exhibition skate wasn’t the only surprise, though. The true surprise was coming at the end of their routine, and Yuuri had to admit he was a little nervous about it. It wouldn’t be Viktor without an idea like this one, though. Sure enough, the routine was coming to an end much faster than Yuuri wanted it to. He wanted to stay on the ice with Viktor forever, to just keep skating with him. As Viktor’s arms wrapped around his waist, Yuuri wound his own around his shoulders, once more standing at the centre of the ice. Despite how nervous Yuuri had been about the end of their skate, seeing Viktor’s beaming smile was enough to reassure him. As Viktor closed the tiny gap between them, Yuuri’s fingers tangled into his silvery hair.

A kiss, Viktor said. The perfect way to end the exhibition skate, would be with a kiss. Yuuri had been unsure at first, saying that it seemed a little unnecessary. After all, Yuuri had never been very good at public displays of affection. Viktor had been adamant, saying that it was the best way to fully display the emotions of the program. He also thought it was the best way to announce to the world that they were so much more than friends. Yuuri didn’t think it was necessary to make some grand announcement, but this was Viktor. Viktor never did things the easy way. It truly was the ultimate way to surprise the audience, Yuuri had to admit.

He vaguely registered the sound of the crowd’s screams and cheers, but Yuuri was far too preoccupied with Viktor, the way their lips felt pressed together, the way his hands on his waist reassured him. It was easier to do this than he thought it would be. Once again, Viktor was surprising him as he dipped Yuuri, his skates slipping from beneath him, but Viktor kept him upright, their lips still pressed together. Yuuri couldn’t hold back his laughter, pulling away from the kiss to look up at him, “One of these days, you’re going to drop me.”

“Then I’ll fall with you.” Viktor grinned as he pulled Yuuri back up to his feet.

This man, this perfect man had given him so much. He’d changed Yuuri’s life over the course of eight short months. From sadness, from uncertainty, to laughter, and determination. He still didn’t know what the future was going to hold for him, but for once in his life, he didn’t care. Seeing Viktor’s bright smile, Yuuri pulled him closer, kissing him once more.

* * *

 

Yuuri had no memory of the banquet from Sochi’s Grand Prix Circuit. He couldn’t remember meeting Viktor, couldn’t remember dancing with Yuri, or making a deal that would change his life. If there was one thing Yuuri had learned from it, it was that he should never drink in a public setting ever again. Not if he wanted to remember the night. And especially not if he wanted to keep his dignity. Still, as much as he had changed over the months, he still didn’t feel particularly comfortable at social gatherings like the banquet. He was never sure exactly what he was supposed to do. Mingle was the one thing he had been told in the past, but that was easier said than done. There were only so many things he could think to say before it just got awkward. Standing in the corner of the room, Yuuri watched as people chatted energetically, unsure of exactly what he should be doing.

“There you are, pork cutlet bowl.” He looked up as Yuri stood beside him, looking less than pleased to be there, “What was with that stunt you and Viktor pulled at the gala?”

Yuuri smiled, looking down at his feet and rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “It was Viktor’s idea.”

“Of course it was.” He grumbled, “You two just had to go and steal the spotlight.”

“Your performance was great, Yuri. You had the whole crowd on their feet.” It was true, Yuri’s performance was completely different to his and Viktor’s. It was much more energetic, and everyone was cheering for him as he attempted difficult jumps.

“Yeah, yeah.” Yuri sighed, pointing to the middle of the room, “Viktor asked me to get you. He said you owe him something.”

“Right.” Yuuri sighed softly, “Thanks.”

He started walking towards the centre of the room before he was stopped by Yuri gripping his sleeve. Looking back, he saw Yuri’s eyes on the other side of the room, clearly trying to ignore the situation he was putting himself in, “You did good, too, piggy.”

Yuuri wanted to thank him, to tell him how much it meant to hear something like that, but he knew that Yuri didn’t want to be thanked. He didn’t want to draw attention to the compliment. Instead, he just smiled, because that was really all that Yuri needed. He’d learned a lot about the young blond over the months. He knew how much Yuri hated to express himself. It’d only be a death wish to push the subject. Heading to the middle of the room, he saw Viktor waiting for him with a bright smile, “You sent Yuri to get me?”

Viktor shrugged, “He seemed like he wanted an excuse to get away from the mingling. Anyway,” He held out his hand to Yuuri, “I believe the deal was one dance.”

Yuuri looked around them, seeing people standing in groups, chatting among themselves, “No one else is dancing…”

“That didn’t stop you back in Sochi.” Viktor smirked as Yuuri blushed, taking his hand, “Come on, I don’t bite.”

It really didn’t matter what he said. Once Viktor put his mind to something, there was nothing that would stop him. He wanted to dance with Yuuri, and there was no way he’d accept no for an answer, especially since he’d waited as long as he had for that dance. It was bittersweet for Yuuri. In truth, he would’ve given Viktor his dance even if he had won the gold medal. But now, he got the dance, but not his idol. As Viktor rested a hand on his waist, Yuuri moved his own to his shoulder, letting Viktor lead them in a slow dance in the centre of the room. Normally, Yuuri would’ve been embarrassed, but he tried to instead focus on Viktor. This was something he’d promised to him, even if he didn’t remember it.

“You know, when I pictured us dancing together, you never looked this sad.” Viktor pointed out, watching Yuuri’s downcast eyes.

“Sorry, I just…” Yuuri sighed softly, looking up at him, “I don’t know how I’m going to keep skating without you.”

Yuuri didn’t want to sound ungrateful. He was so thankful for everything Viktor had done for him, he just wished he could keep skating with him. Training wasn’t the same. There was something about the way Viktor moved on the ice when he was performing, something that training and practicing just didn’t give him. It would be hard to never be able to see Viktor skating like that again. Viktor smiled as he watched Yuuri, “Do you still want to keep skating?”

“Of course!” Yuuri’s hold on Viktor’s hand tightened, “This last year has been so special to me, I want to keep skating. I really do.” There was a fear that if he stopped skating, he’d lose Viktor, but it was so much more than that. Yuuri had fallen in love with the ice all over again. He had found the drive he thought he’d lost back in Sochi. Yuuri didn’t want to give up now. Especially when he had yet to win a gold medal.

Viktor’s smile only grew, “That’s good, because you know, I was thinking,” He paused, and Yuuri was sure he was doing it for dramatic effect, but humoured him all the same, “Helping you train made me miss the ice.”

“Wait.” Yuuri stopped moving, forgetting that they were meant to be dancing as he stared up at Viktor, his idol, trying to decode the words he had just uttered, “Are you saying… you’re coming back?”

“Not quite.” Viktor could see Yuuri’s shoulders slump in disappointment, quickly continuing his train of thought, “That is, I would like to compete again… with you.”

“What?”

“I have done all I can with solo skating. There is nothing new for me there. But when I skate with you… there’s so much to discover. We can surprise audiences all over the world. Together!” Viktor pulled Yuuri’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles, “That is of course, if you would agree to be my partner.”

Yuuri felt like his head was spinning. He had only practiced paired skating with Viktor for the exhibition, and it hadn’t been easy. It required so much trust, and so much synchronisation. The throws were so difficult, and he couldn’t begin to imagine being able to do that with Viktor. Viktor would make a brilliant pairs skater. Of course he would. Viktor seemed to be good at everything on the ice, it was like he was born for it. Yuuri couldn’t help but think he’d hold him back, though. Looking down at their hands, he spoke softly, “You know how hard pairs skating is, Viktor.”

“That just makes it more exciting!” Viktor beamed his heart shaped smile, tilting his head to look into Yuuri’s eyes, “Don’t think you’re not enough, Yuuri. You’re the only one I want to do this with.”

“Why me?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“Because you’re the only one I have this connection with.” Viktor replied simply, “You said you wanted to keep skating with me forever, so let’s do it.”

“Vitya…” Yuuri pulled Viktor into his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest, “We’ll win gold. Together.”

* * *

 

It took several months for Yuuri to get things set up for Russia. He had to move all his things to Saint Petersburg, but there was so much more to it. It took some convincing to get Yakov to agree to help train them as pairs skaters, though he said he would have to bring in extra help. After all, pairs skating wasn’t his area of expertise. It took even longer for Yuri to stop complaining about training with them. Apparently, it was distracting to train with Yuuri and Viktor fawning all over each other and falling into each other’s arms. Of course, Yuuri never really saw it like that. The only time he fell into Viktor’s arms was when he was losing his balance.

They had agreed to compete for Russia. Yuuri would’ve loved to compete for Japan, but he knew that he had taken Viktor away from Russia for long enough. It was just enough to be able to keep skating, to keep doing what he loved. Settling into things in Russia had been difficult at first. The cultural differences were hard to get used to, and Yuuri was doing his best to learn the language so that Viktor wouldn’t have to bail him out of awkward situations all the time. Despite how difficult things had been, though, Yuuri had never been so happy. Viktor showered him with affection, he made sure Yuuri never felt insecure, or let his lack of confidence get to him. Every day, Yuuri had been shown a love he never thought he would feel.

They were in a rush to leave for practice when it happened. Yuuri was searching through a drawer of clothes for his gloves, Makkachin circling him excitedly. Yuuri didn’t seem to realise that this was definitely a game, and that Makkachin needed to know the rules so that he could play along.

“Yuuri, where are the keys!?” He heard Viktor calling from the other room.

Yuuri didn’t bother looking up from the drawer, calling back, “In my jacket!”

Running late for Yakov’s practices was never a good idea. They’d done it once before when Viktor had insisted on spending just a little more time together before they left, and Yuuri had never seen anyone as aggravated as Yakov had been. He never wanted to see that again. Of course, there were things scarier than Coach Yakov being made to wait, and one of those things happened to dawn on Yuuri at that moment. He had told Viktor to check his jacket for his keys, completely forgetting what he had left in his jacket. Without a second thought, Yuuri was rushing out of the room, stumbling on his way out the door as he headed towards Viktor, “Wait, I’ll get them!”

He stopped in his tracks when he saw Viktor standing in the hallway, Yuuri’s jacket in one hand and a small box in the other. Yuuri’s mind was racing. This wasn’t the time. Viktor wasn’t supposed to see that yet. How could he have been so stupid? Such a simple mistake, completely letting it slip his mind, but now it was too late to fix it. He looked down at the floor, wringing his fingers together nervously, “I can explain…”

“What is this?” Viktor asked curiously, holding up the small box.

“You didn’t look in it?”

“I didn’t have a chance.”

Yuuri stepped closer, taking the box from his hands and looking down at it. The dark blue velvet of the box felt soft in his hand. It had been almost comforting to brush his hand over that box in his pocket when he got too nervous, reminding himself of exactly how important everything he was doing with Viktor really was, “You weren’t supposed to see this yet.”

“Well… can I?” Viktor seemed tentative, worried he’d upset Yuuri with his discovery. Still, he was curious. How could he not be? It seemed like such a big deal judging from Yuuri’s reaction. He didn’t want to ruin whatever Yuuri had planned, but curiosity was getting the better of him.

“I guess it’d be cruel not to show you now, huh?” Yuuri handed the box back to Viktor, avoiding his eyes as much as he could. He really wasn’t sure he was ready for Viktor’s reaction. He’d hoped he could work up the courage a bit better beforehand.

Opening the box, Viktor stared at the gold ring sitting inside, his voice coming out in barely a whisper, “Is this…?”

“I wasn’t going to give it to you until after we win gold.” Yuuri admitted, watching as Makkachin moved to sit down beside him. The dog always seemed to be able to sense Yuuri’s anxiety, staying by his side whenever he thought he needed it. Yuuri reached down, gently petting Makkachin behind the ears. It was a soothing motion for himself just as much as it was for the poodle.

“Do you know what you were going to say when you gave it to me?” Viktor stepped closer, holding the box close to his chest.

“I had some ideas.” Yuuri shrugged.

“Will you tell me?”

If Yuuri was honest, he’d thought about it a lot, but nothing ever felt like it was enough. He didn’t want to let Viktor down, though. There was no point trying to shy away from it now that Viktor had seen the ring, “Vitya, you… are the most stubborn man I’ve ever met.” Viktor laughed, but Yuuri kept talking, hoping that if he just said whatever came to mind, it would make sense, “But you’re also the kindest person I’ve ever known. You’re patient with me, you challenge me. Every day we spend together feels like an adventure. I don’t ever want to stop skating with you and experiencing new things with you. So, um…Viktor, will you please take this ring… as a promise to always be together?” Yuuri cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “Or uh, something like that, I guess. There’s still a lot of time to think of things to say…”

“Yes.”

Yuuri looked up at Viktor, seeing the tears threatening to slip from his eyes. But that wasn’t all he saw. Viktor was blushing. Yuuri had never seen Viktor blush before, but there he was, cheeks red and Yuuri really wished he could figure out what was going on in his head. He stared at him for a long moment, finally breaking the silence between them, “What?”

“Yes, Yuuri!” Viktor practically pounced on Yuuri, wrapping his arms around him tightly as he rested their heads together. Yuuri’s arms wrapped instinctively around Viktor’s waist as they had so many times before. He’d seen Viktor smile plenty of times, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen it quite that bright, “We can get married once we get our first gold!”

“Wait… really?” Yuuri stared back at Viktor, trying to figure out what he was thinking, but all he could see was pure elation.

“Come on, I have to get you a ring, too!”

“Wait, Vitya, what about practice? We’re already late.”

Viktor leaned closer, kissing Yuuri quickly, “He can wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grand Prix Final Results:
> 
> 1st: Yuri Plisetsky: SP - 118.56, FS - 200.97, Total: 319.53  
> 2nd: Yuuri Katsuki: SP - 97.83, FS - 221.58, Total: 319.41  
> 3rd: Otabek Altin: SP - 112.38, FS - 187.03, Total: 299.41  
> 4th: Jean-Jacques Leroy: SP - 86.71, FS - 212.42, Total: 299.13  
> 5th: Christophe Giacometti: SP - 102.37, FS - 188.32, Total: 290.69  
> 6th: Phichit Chulanont: SP - 95.73, FS - 193.83, Total: 289.56
> 
> I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read this story, it means the world to me. This is my first attempt to delve into the world of Yuri!!! on Ice, and it's been so much fun. It certainly won't be my last, I have a lot of plans for the future. I'm thinking about writing some one shots based on this story which would involve moments in between scenes. I'm also thinking about writing a sequel in the future based around Viktor and Yuuri's debut as pairs skaters. Let me know if you'd like to see something like that, but for now, this is the end. I'm so sad to see this end, but I'm so happy to have been able to share it with you. 
> 
> See you next level!


End file.
